What do I do?
- This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
So, i recently broke up with a long term boyfriend and i started talking to an old friend of mine. I’ve known him for 9 years and we dated on and off when we were younger. It’s important to note that no matter where i was in life, i have always loved him differently than other people (he was my first love). We’ve been hooking up over the past 2 weeks or so and plan to continue doing so throughout the summer. The issue is, he’s leaving for college away in august. I’m scared that I’m going to get too attached and be heartbroken when he leaves, but part of me feels like he might feel the same way. What do I do?
Being heartbroken isn’t the end of the world. It’s part of the human experience and you’re bound to feel it at least once in your life if not multiple times, in multiple ways (friends can break your heart, family members, your kids). Don’t deny yourself life experiences because you’re afraid of something that may not even happen and, if it does, it’s survivable, builds character, connects you to nearly every other adult on the planet who engages with other people.
I say, enjoy the hookups. See what happens. Heartbreak is part of life, and you never know what will happen in the future. Maybe you’ll meet someone really great and it won’t be such a heartbreak when he goes to college. Not every goodbye is forever and maybe you can just pause the relationship and continue it some future time.
Do keep yourself in check, though. Maybe give yourself a little space when you need it, and don’t devote your social calendar to just him.
Don’t borrow worries and be sad all summer. Have fun.
Think of this like getting a dozen cupcakes. You eat a half a cup cake each day, you enjoy the cup cake in that moment. When all of the cupcakes are gone, you are sad because no more cupcakes. But you had a lovely (almost whole) month of cupcakes.
You can’t get too attached – you know his plans. You know this is temporary and you know that when he leaves, this will end. That is how it’s supposed to be. And I say this as both the person who went away and the person who was left behind. You will be emotionally safer if you abide by that break
I’m happy where I am but oh, to be young and your lover going off to college in a few months! The heartaches have faded in time, but the sweet memories remain. 😊
