It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Once a Cheater,” who had cheated on previous boyfriends in the past and expressed some concern that she was beginning to fantasize about other men again now that she has been relocated away from her boyfriend for six months. She updated us once before about how things were going with the boyfriend three months into their six months apart. It’s now been another year and nine months and there’s a new update:
I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend while I was away.
I didn’t cheat on him, but I broke up with him because I felt like we had no connection, and me being away from him only made me realize I was not happy in the relationship. I know it’s cliché, but the reasons I felt this way were because he was “too nice” and didn’t really speak up for himself. Another reason was because he pretended to like and do certain things only because I did. Basically, he lied about knowing certain bands, movies, etc. when in reality he had no idea what or who I was talking about.
I did the shitty thing and broke up with him over the phone. I only did this because I wanted him to know I would be starting to look for a new place when I returned and I wouldn’t stay with him. He was understanding and wasn’t crazy (thank God). He didn’t ruin my things. It was a clean break-up. He picked me up at the airport. He let me use his truck, while he was at work, to move my stuff. I was pretty lucky with the way things turned out. He understood that he could not make me love him. He wasn’t going to force me to do anything and be vengeful because of my feelings.
A few weeks after I returned, I got in touch with an old co-worker. We hit it off and got married and the rest is history. I am happy and I am not just to telling myself this like before. I feel it every single day. I don’t have thoughts of cheating like how I did before in my past relationship. He is my best friend and now my life partner, and I couldn’t be happier.
Well, congrats to you. I’d love an update in another year or two…
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.