Updates

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Devoted Dad,” whose girlfriend of a year was asking him to move away from his kids to her town 45 minutes from them and to change his custody arrangement from 50/50 to having his kids only every other weekend, which would require his kids to switch schools and live with their mom (and her new husband and baby) primarily. He wrote: “When I ask my girlfriend about her moving closer to me, she says she can’t do that…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from Fed Up with Flaccid, a woman who was questioning her relationship with her boyfriend of two years because of his reluctance to propose, his proclivity for kinky sex, and his erectile dysfunction (that he blamed her for, despite a medical diagnosis). A year and a half later, are they still together? Her update below:

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Scared He’ll Be a Schlub” whose boyfriend didn’t like the paisley shirt she bought for him to wear to her friend’s “electro-hippy psychedelic chic” wedding. They proceeded to have big blow-out arguments “that,” she wrote, “in his mind, are all my fault because I bought the offending shirt.” She continued: “It’s not even about the shirt anymore, but rather about underlying themes in our relationship that I believe are navigable over the long-term. The short-term problem is the…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Feeling Abandoned” whose mother essentially abandoned the family in 2007 for a controlling boyfriend when the youngest sibling was 17. In more recent months, the LW has cut her mother off, and stopped paying the bills she was helping her mother with, after years of increasing issues with her mother. In her letter, she was grappling with how to negotiate this estrangement and what it meant for her, going forward. Her update below:

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “What to Say?” whose sister’s SIL, a drug addict, was on life support in the hospital after OD’ing again. She wondered what she should say to her sister’s in-laws when she saw them again: “[they] are good people, they tried their best and will spend the rest of their lives wondering if they had made different choices whether things would have been different. I didn’t often agree with their choices, but I also recognize that in the last…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel like I’m hiding something from him. Sometimes my friend has said things like how he was a flower girl when he was a kid, and I think my boyfriend has just brushed off these comments or thought Nick was joking. […] It’s not my place to…