It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Pregnancy Hopeful,” a woman who wondering the best way to tell her infertile sister that she was planning to get pregnant soon. Find out how they’re both doing now over a year and a half later.
In early November, two cycles into trying, I fount out I was pregnant! She, on the other hand, was overstimulated before egg retrieval during this same week. They ended up retrieving over 50 eggs from her, when less than 10 is more typical. After a week of fertilization and embryo growth, 11 were healthy and frozen while she was told to wait a couple cycles for her hormones to level out.
In anticipation of morning sickness giving me away and a desire to, potentially, not completely ruin Thanksgiving for her, I opted to tell family about us the week before we travelled to be with them for Thanksgiving. I called her and had a plan to let her know gently and give her space if needed. My sister could not have been more awesome. She said this was the best pregnancy she’d heard about in the past five years and better than from any of her friends, and she was excited for us and the potential that we’d have kids with very close birthdays. Thanksgiving came and went, and I never had any morning sickness (I learned my mom never had morning sickness either). So, I probably could have hidden it longer, but I’m happy I didn’t.
I was careful not to get too emotionally attached to my pregnancy until I saw a beautiful ultrasound with a heartbeat after seven weeks. A week before Christmas, I experienced a missed miscarriage between 9-10 weeks. A medically-managed route didn’t work, and I wound up having a surgical procedure to complete the miscarriage so that we could travel to be with family for Christmas and New Year’s. Thankfully, that all worked out.
Now my sister is a week or two away from her first embryo transfer, and my husband and I are supposed to wait a few cycles before trying again. She and I are as close as ever supporting each other through all of this. With some luck, we may both still get to have 2016 babies.
Thank you for your update. I’m so sorry for your miscarriage, and I wish both you and your sister good luck as you try for successful pregnancies this year. Please keep us posted!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.