Met her on Upward App
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She seems real. And she even called me today without me saying anything. We both seem interested in each other. She did use “God fearing” in her profile which sometimes Nigerian scammers use. And at times there is a long pause or won’t answer a few questions. She gave me a intersection which a Starbucks didn’t even exist at in a city near her. She doesnt talk Nigerian. But sometimes her typing is off. But she mentioned she was once raped by a family member. She also has a picture of her sitting down with a local fleece blanket or other material with the name of a local county sheriff office above her head in her picture laying on her sofa. The she had text me the other day. She sounds like a teenager but admits to being 44. She claims to be a teacher’s aid for disabled kids. And wants to me after work at 4pm today. She is like 1 hour away from me. I did suggest meeting at the city closer to me, that has a nice library im familiar with. She said she a off message about money and that she has to pick up her kids from their school. We both seem to be perfect for each other. And she is a year younger than me. I’m just hoping she isn’t a scam or something else. She also has a phone number that I checked online that seems legitimate.
The only way to know for sure if she’s real and you actually like each other, is to meet up for coffee or something at a specific public location. You were right to suggest something between your two locations. If she had an excuse for that day/time, then ask her what day is good for her to meet.
And then I wouldn’t spend any more time talking with her if she isn’t willing to meet you for coffee.
Some red flags here for sure: calling you and not saying anything(???), mentioning money when you suggest meeting up, referencing a Starbucks that doesn’t exist, that’s all pretty weird.
Talking about rape/incest before meeting with someone is, to me, enough of a red flag to not even meet up.
Oh sorry, I read that wrong. Still, you need to meet her in person to know she’s not a Nigerian scammer, but there are a lot of weird things here.
Agree. I did meet a married woman once that was raped by her husband at a young age. It was down south where stuff like that is the norm. Obviously here up north where I now live laws are stricter. But she was sweet and the husband neighbor came after me. But was glad she lost interest in me. As she was going around to many guys from what I found out for fun.
This one doesn’t seem as crazy. But still will be careful. I’ll meet her somewhere public. That’s why I mentioned the library where I know the security guard. I’ve heard of carjackings with some dates. But I’m pretty smart.
But if she is a no show I guess she was a fake.
I had to Google Upward. It’s a Christian dating app for anyone else not in the know. I never tried a religious-based platform, but I imagine it’s not too odd for someone to describe themselves as “god-fearing” on one.
Anyway, you didn’t ask a question, so I’m not sure what kind of feedback you are looking for here. Most of what you wrote here is weird or doesn’t make sense, and I think this person you’ve matched with sounds off. I’m not sure what makes you think you are perfect for one another. Had I encountered anything like this on a dating app — which is how I met my partner of 5+ years — I’d not have wanted to meet up with this person at all.
FYI, English is the official language of Nigeria.
They already are making an excuse to not meet up. Like she/ they said they have to stay after school to talk to DCFS for a student. They said maybe we could meet tomorrow. It is already sounding like a catfish. I doubt they ever meet anyone. They may live in TN or whatever. Yeah I’m sure it sounds crazy already.
OK, I mean, people do work and scheduling conflicts do happen. That seems like the least weird thing here to me, haha. But as a general rule of thumb, if you’re online dating and something or someone seems off, stop communicating and move onto the next match.
When I was online dating I used to be able to find people pretty easily online (specifically, LinkedIn) by searching first name + job title + city. I did always try to find dates online before meeting up, not to do any kind of deep dive into their online presence, just to make sure that they were who they said they were at baseline.
Yeah I would just stop communicating. If you really want to you could be like, ok, hey, let me know a good time for you to meet up, and then just not engage anymore unless she’s making plans with you.
I agree with Kate – too many red flags to be comfortable.
I’d be on my heels with the rape information – that’s really personal and really intimate and we don’t know one another. I just don’t believe that you need to share all of your trauma within the first week. And to be 44 and doing that… no. I think she’s “perfect” because she was created to be perfect – I think you are right about being catfished.
