boyfriend advice
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I have a boyfriend and there have been a few things that have made me uncomfortable but I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it. When my boyfriend first met my best friend he got quite tipsy and there was a moment I caught him starting at her and it me feel uneasy so I confronted him about it. He said it wasn’t the case and admitted he thought she was attractive but he wasn’t staring. I moved past it. Recently when I mentioned my friend and spoke about her dating life he asked me how many men do I think she slept with and does she sleep with men on the first date. I found these questions strange and I confronted him and now he has made me to feel at blame when all I have done is expressed it makes me uncomfortable. When I went out on a night out with her and her work colleagues my boyfriend asked me did my friend try it on with her boss. I just feel it’s disrespectful. He keeps saying he doesn’t like her and that he doesn’t agree with how she behaves in her life but I just find the whole thing odd. I would like some advice on how I should manage this. My boyfriend and I otherwise have a good relationship
Yes, that’s a big red flag. It’s not a one-off either, it’s a pattern of behavior. It’s not so much that he’s attracted to your friend, it’s the gross, disrespectful things he says. And that he won’t stop when you say you don’t like it. You should break up.
Agree, it’s a red flag. Dude is thinking about your friend’s sex life waaaay too much to be normal. And the fact that he isn’t listening to you (in my opinion it’s something he’s unable to let go – aka kinda obsessed) is another red flag.
A friend of mine said once “When I’m dating someone and I start thinking about other people… I know my relationship is over.”
Yeah, his comments suggest a really dim view of women. That’s a bigger issue than catching him staring at your friend.
This is too big of a red flag to ignore. He is sexist, disrespectful, and gaslight-y. You should break up with him. But you should also be proud of yourself for recognizing a red flag and letting it guide you out of what could potentially be an unsatisfying and painful path if you stayed with your boyfriend.
