“My Boyfriend is an Absolute Slob!”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I am a 26-year-old woman who lives with her 30-year-old boyfriend. We’ve been together almost three years and have lived together for one. He is wonderful: funny, smart, sweet, kind, thoughtful, and supportive. He would be perfect except for one thing: He is an absolute slob. I am a clean…

“My Boyfriend Is Going Through a Messy Divorce and Doesn’t Have Enough Time for Me”

I have been seeing my boyfriend “Jim” for almost six months now. Jim is a guy and isn’t perfect at everything, and neither am I perfect. We are both adults with very busy, complicated schedules. I am a full time nurse, and, along with other community groups I participate in, I have an inconsistent schedule. Jim works for a family business and about a year and half ago separated from his wife. About six months ago, right before we started seeing one another, he filed for divorce. I only know his side of the story, and, from what he has shared, they fought endlessly, she cheated multiple times, she was emotionally abusive,…

“My Fling Got Me Pregnant and Now He’s With Another Woman”

I am in a very unique predicament. I am a 28-year-old woman and I recently met a 33-year-old man. I am from the Philippines and he is from the US. We met three months after he broke up with his Filipina girlfriend. He was honest from the get-go, telling me he had prior arrangements to hang out with this other girl around the end of March, but then he met me and wanted to see how it would work out. We spent two weekends together and we had such a great time. But I requested that, if he ended up liking the other woman, he be honest and tell me. And he…

Shortcuts: “I Don’t Trust My Boyfriend to Go to Strip Clubs”

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I just recently read another column of yours regarding strip clubs and boyfriends, but the girl asking the question was not that worried about her boyfriend cheating. I’m in a different situation and would like your help. I’m older than my man and currently pregnant with his baby. He likes to go to strip clubs quite often, and I absolutely hate…

“I Re-Married My Ex-Husband And Now I Want to Die”

I am a 66-year-old woman who retired in December 2012. I was also an Associate Pastor in my hometown and living in a beautiful apartment loft, single and holding my own. I also have four grown children between the ages of 24 and 46. I had been divorced for a very long time from my first husband. We married when I was 21 and he was 24. After our divorce, he remarried and was married for 30 years until his wife died. He lives in a rural countryside in the Caribbean. He called me nearly three years ago, two weeks after his wife died, to offer me marriage. During that time I…

“She’s Way Too Close With Her Ex and Ex In-laws!”

I have been casually dating a 56-year-old divorced woman who has one adult (23-year-old) daughter. This female friend of mine, who has been separated from her ex-husband (the father of her now-adult daughter) for the past eight years but only divorced since last year, is inexperienced with relationships (she’s only had two in her entire life), and she continues to see nothing wrong with maintaining “ties or communication” with her ex-husband AND two of his sisters and their husbands. As a 46-year-old man who’s had several relationships — both good and bad — over the years, I’ve attempted to explain to her that her behavior is considered disrespectful and is cause for distrust by…

“My Husband’s Family Doesn’t Address Me By Name”

My husband and I have been married for 55 years. My mother-in-law, who died when she was 99, never liked me. She had two children later in her marriage, so her daughter is 20 years younger than my husband. The daughter, my husband’s sister, was brainwashed by her mother to believe that I was a terrible person. My MIL turned many family against me, which caused me great grief. My husband is 83 now and has had many illnesses, including cancer (twice) and triple bypass surgery. We have three grown children, including one daughter with a mental illness who lives with us. After all these years, no one in my husband’s family…

“Should I Give This Relationship One More Month?”

I’m 33 years old and I’ve been seeing my 48-year-old boyfriend for four months. At first he called frequently and we would spend lots of time together, but he recently moved his 17-year-old daughter in with him so that he could be a full-time parent and that has changed our relationship. He says she has issues with putting off schoolwork so he has to stay on her. This and her extracurricular activities seem to take up all his time now. Additionally, I have not met any of his friends, family, or his daughter yet. Even worse, he doesn’t call and show attention like he did in the beginning. I’ve talked to him…

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