Columns

A year and eight months ago I met a girl who was in a long-distance relationship. When we met, it was instant attraction, and we hooked up on our first date and kept hooking up! At the time she said she wanted to keep it purely platonic, meaning physical, and that’s how we continued for the following three months. I could tell that we both had started falling for each other. Then she told me her relationship with her boyfriend had ended, and we kept seeing each other. We spent New Year’s and Valentine’s Day together, and then she, in a very indirect way, asked me to keep “my magic” for her…

I’m a 39-year-old male who’s been in a relationship with a 35-year-old woman for about a year and nine months. Up until the end of February, we had been talking about moving in together in May. I had said yes. I was into it . . . but, as the date when we’d have to notify our respective landlords of our intention to vacate came closer, I started to feel a lot of doubt. A day before we would have had to give our notice, I told my girlfriend I wasn’t ready. She was incredibly hurt that I suddenly reversed course. I did mean it when I said all those things to…

I have been married two years to the most amazing man, and we have a 15-month-old son together. Last night I was using his phone and I noticed some conversations opened. When I clicked on them, I noticed he was sexting girls things like: “Send me something good” and “My pants are getting tight.” There were multiple conversations with four different girls. To make matters worse, two of the girls were my supposed friends. Needless to say, my heart sank into my stomach; I couldn’t even look at the entire conversations. When I confronted him, he apologized and said that he would never physically cheat on me — that it was something…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

I grew up in a very open household. My parents were very adamant about raising my brother and me to be tolerant people. We learned about different religions (though we grew up loosely Catholic), different cultures, and were taught to treat people equally and kindly. I always valued my upbringing and always say that the way my parents raised me allowed me to have a much broader and accepting worldview than those that were much more close-minded and judgmental in the small town where I grow up. Having said that, in the past few years, my parents have gone through some extended family issues and as a result, have gotten extremely involved…

In today’s column, we have two letters for the price of one. Read on: I’m 32 and I have a guy friend who has feelings for me that I don’t have for him. We dated for a brief period, I broke it off, and we have continued being friends for about two years. However, while we both are acutely aware that I am not interested in an intimate relationship with him and want to remain on a friends’ level, he has made it extremely clear through his words and behavior that he is in love with me, almost to the point of an obsession. I feel like he does not respect my…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. My friend is turning 50 and wants a party. I don’t mind throwing her a small party for close friends and family with several people helping out bringing a dish and drinks, but she wants it at an event place with a rental fee and she has a list of 150 guests. She mentioned she saved $500 and her mom is…