Columns

I am 24 and will be marrying my 25-year-old fiancé in February. We both had been friends with one woman, “Julia,” whom we went to college with and with whom he had a sexual past (prior to dating me). I was fully aware of this past and all three of us continued our friendship until about a year ago, when I noticed that she had defriended me on Facebook. I thought it was odd, but my fiancé indicated that it may have been because she began a new relationship and may have felt awkward remaining friends with us due to their past. I accepted this and assumed it was because we had…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today’s crop of letters makes me sad for our society.

This letter is from a recent Dear Prudence column: My husband was estranged from his parents for many years. He reached out to them when he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. They didn’t have enough time to discuss and resolve their past, but they were at peace with each other when he died. Now my husband’s parents wish to keep in touch with me and my toddler-age son, as he is the only link they have to their only child. The problem is that my son is not my husband’s biological child. I had an affair, the biological father dumped me upon realizing I was pregnant, and my husband (to cut…

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. I was living in Texas, where I’m from, when I met him while visiting my sister in Georgia. Three months later I moved to Georgia to pursue my career and we ended up dating and falling in love. My sister moved back to Texas and for the last two years I have been alone, with the exception of my boyfriend and his family. I love them, but they are not my family. I get really lonely sometimes, especially when he’s out with his friends and I’m home by myself waiting for him. I don’t want to seem like the “bitch” girlfriend, but…

My parents divorced when I was 13. My Dad moved to another state, and I stayed with my mom. Being a single mom, she worked two jobs to make ends meet. She wasn’t home as much as she wanted to be, and I ended up spending a lot of my time with the family across the street. They had twins, John and Mary, the same age as me, and a younger son, Max, who was 6 years younger. Eventually my friendship with John became more than just a friendship. Mary was aware of what developed between John and me, and she did not object at all. John and I were never exclusive,…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss getting married at 18, being “just a number,” and dating royalty.

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I have been married for two years and have been with my husband, “Carl,” for five years. We are both in our late 20s. In February I told Carl that I could not put up with his drinking anymore (he was drinking 2-4 beers on a daily basis — more on weekends — and has gotten two DUIs). He seemed to turn things around: he started going to school to get his GED; he started working out; he lost 30 lbs; and things seemed to be…