It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss post-breakup photo etiquette, lying spouses, and traveling with an undocumented immigrant boyfriend.
I was seeing a man — “Rob” — last summer, whom I agreed to keep things casual with until, you guessed it, we fell for each other. He started taking me on romantic dinners, telling me how he cared for me and buying me lovely gifts. However, I was set to leave for a graduate writing program in the United Kingdom. He and my friends threw me a fabulous going away party. He stopped short of telling me he loved me, saying, “I love this, I love that and I love…” and trailed off. The day I flew to the UK he gave me his suitcase and e-mailed me THREE times to…
I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. In about a month, I’m going away to Costa Rica and Nicaragua for a little over two weeks, with no contact with anyone in the United States. He’s never cheated on me before, but I’m so afraid he’s going to. I told him I was scared and he told me he would never do anything like that to me, and that I’m the only girl he wants to be with. He also said, “Why would I cheat with anyone from our town anyway? They’d tell you! And since you’re gone, I have nowhere to go outside of town.” Should I be worried? Or…
In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I am a 21-year-old female who recently finalized my divorce. We are both in the military, and we were long distance for our entire relationship which obviously made it hard. We had a whirlwind romance and got married after nine months of dating, thinking it would be possible that we would be able to get stationed near each other after we were married. Well, that turned out to not be the case, and we remained stationed on separate coasts. Almost immediately after we were married he…
I recently dated a guy for over a year, but due to the stress and emotional turmoil that the relationship put on me, and self-esteem issues that I suffered from originally, I became bulimic a few months into the relationship. Though I knew it was wrong, and that it could cause health issues, I didn’t stop until a few days before the relationship ended a few months ago. No one, especially my ex, knew about my eating disorder, and everyone believed that I was just eating right and exercising more, since that’s what I told them. After losing thirty pounds, I decided that I couldn’t live that unhealthy lifestyle anymore, and for…
On your site I see the advice to “MOA” all the time. Nine times out of ten I generally agree with it and am yelling the same thing at my computer screen. However, I find when I’m in a situation when I need to “MOA” I can’t flip that switch in my head that gets me moving on. When I look up on advice online, it sounds like this is some innate quality that everybody has. But I don’t. So, I guess, what I’m asking is: can everybody else flip that psychological switch and move on (meaning there’s something wrong with me) or is this something that everybody says to do but…
I’m getting married this September at a semi-destination event (it’s about a 2-hour drive away for most guests). My parents and my fiancé and I are paying for the wedding together. We all agreed that children would not be invited. The only exceptions are our 6-month-old nephew, a bridesmaid’s newborn and my two first cousins who are 11 and 12. We have several family members and friends who have toddlers and kids under 10 years old, and we simply do not want that many children that age at our wedding. There’s going to be lots of drinking, dancing, a pool and an after-party that goes til the wee hours in the morning…
I am a newly married 26-year-old. My husband and I have been living together for three years. I moved five hours away from all my friends and family to be with him. Prior to moving here I lived in a small town and where we live now is much larger and very close to a big city. My problem is that I really do not like living here. Other than the fact that I miss my family and friends all the time, I also find the people here to be insufferable. Almost EVERYONE I come in contact with is demanding, demeaning, rude, and stuck up. It just seems to me that everyone…
My boyfriend’s parents are deceased and left him their house that he wants me to move into with him. Technically, it belongs to his two sisters as well, but they don’t want it for themselves — they have beautiful homes. The problem is the house is a huge museum to his parents, his siblings, a deceased brother, etc. It has great bones, but it hasn’t been remodeled since it was built in the 70s and needs to be completely updated. There are antiques everywhere (some of which are beautiful and we could keep them), artificial flowers, linoleum floors, no bathtubs and old bathrooms and appliances. When I say that it needs updating,…
It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss ending a booty call, and the big “M” word.
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