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Twenty-three years ago when I was 16, I ended up pregnant and was forced by my mother and step-father to give my baby up for adoption. The birth father and I didn’t even have any say as to who would be adopting our baby — all decisions were forced upon us, and, needless to say, that time of my life was deeply emotional for me. I was depressed through my whole pregnancy, and the pregnancy was high-risk with the stress of knowing the baby that was growing inside of me was never going to be mine once I gave birth to her. I never got to hold her — my mother wouldn’t…

I graduated last May, and since then I have been working in a full-time entry-level job in an industry where shorter contracts are the norm. I’ve been looking for the next step for me for a few months (slightly sooner than I might otherwise have done because my boss is, to put it kindly, difficult, but not, I don’t think, at a red-flag-to-employees level of soon, given the industry). I’ve had several interviews which haven’t worked out (and plenty of non-responses to CVs, which I actually find easier to deal with), and it’s taking a toll on my self-esteem. Objectively, I know that I’m good at what I do, that finding a…

I’m a 44-year-old man and have been platonically seeing someone I dated years ago. For the past two years, we have been having lunch and watching an occasional movie together. We understood our status was simply good friends. I was not attracted to her like I wanted to be, but at my age sexual interest has waned some. The drive to procreate has diminished. So what’s left was a really good friendship which could have been a relationship if I allowed it to be. The other day she told me she is seeing someone. Our relationship is now forever changed. She is a gem and I know she loved me. Now that…

I have two girlfriends that I have known for 15+ years, Laura and Becky. We have been there for each other through phases, relationships, marriages, childbirths, deaths, goals, etc. Becky moved away a few years ago, and so Laura and I don’t know her like we used to. Still, whenever we have gotten together, it has been like she never left. Last year Becky went to AA for an alcohol addiction. I hadn’t even known she had a problem. Months passed. We thought she was doing great. Then Laura told me that she suspected Becky had just swapped out one addiction for another. Before Laura filled me in on this, I had…

My ex and I were together for a little over a year — an intense, beautiful year. We were both extremely happy and in love. I had never felt anything like this before, and I felt like I already had a bond with him when I first met him. He broke up with me three months ago because he doesn’t think I’m the one. It puzzles me how he thinks we don’t have a future when our past and present are so beautiful. It has been hard for both of us to walk away because we both love each other, but he feels he’s saving me from a dead-end relationship and he…

My sibling is getting married at the beach this summer. It will be a very laid-back, informal event. Everyone is footing their own bill. I booked a room for myself and my boyfriend. My dad just informed me that he expected my boyfriend and me to have separate rooms. I’m in my late 20s and my boyfriend is in his early 30s. We’ve been together over two years, do not live together, and aren’t engaged although we’ve looked at rings and discussed in depth marriage plans and a timeline. Although we’re footing the bill and my dad doesn’t have a say, we now feel uncomfortable going. We don’t want to cause a…

I’m friends with a man at my church – he’s on the board and we both have served as volunteers there. I fell down one time and he helped me dress my wounds. Some time afterward he told me I had “soft, smooth skin.” A day or two later he made that same comment again. A few weeks later he called me to give me my astrological birth chart. He tells me I might consider becoming a “geisha” and helping men overcome their sexual problems (he himself has sexual dysfunction). He has also described my body as “beautiful” and asked me if I shave my underarms at night. These comments have made…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. My girlfriend has given me an ultimatum: her or my good friend Greg. “Greg” and I grew up in similar neighborhoods with similar backgrounds. We met in college through our common interest in playing video games and a shared entrepreneurial mindset. He eventually graduated with a bioengineering degree and moved…

I have been in a relationship for five months. We spend just about every day together — I either stay at his place or he will stay at mine (we don’t formally live together). He has taken me on multiple trips, and we have a lot of fun together. He even bought me a bike for Valentine’s Day so we can go on bike rides together, and he sent me flowers to my office. He usually treats me to everything because he makes more money than I do and I live paycheck to paycheck at the moment. He told me it isn’t about the money though. I told him this past weekend…