“My Girlfriend Wants Me To Choose: Her or My Friend”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. My girlfriend has given me an ultimatum: her or my good friend Greg. “Greg” and I grew up in similar neighborhoods with similar backgrounds. We met in college through our common interest in playing video games and a shared entrepreneurial mindset. He eventually graduated with a bioengineering degree and moved…

“I Told Him I Love Him and He Said He Doesn’t Feel the Same Way”

I have been in a relationship for five months. We spend just about every day together — I either stay at his place or he will stay at mine (we don’t formally live together). He has taken me on multiple trips, and we have a lot of fun together. He even bought me a bike for Valentine’s Day so we can go on bike rides together, and he sent me flowers to my office. He usually treats me to everything because he makes more money than I do and I live paycheck to paycheck at the moment. He told me it isn’t about the money though. I told him this past weekend…

“Should I Tell His New Girlfriend that He’s a Cheater?”

I met a man three years ago and we got on immediately and started seeing each other soon after. He had a few exes with whom he was in contact, and I quickly got fed up with it. So, we stopped our fling and went on with our lives. A year later we met again, and we re-started our relationship – this time more intensely. We fell in love. After a while though I found out he was cheating with a woman he’d met in the year we were apart. He admitted it and said he would stop. He did not. During that time, unbeknownst to me, he was also sporadically seeing…

“My Boyfriend is Going on a Pre-Planned Vacation with His Ex-Girlfriend”

I’ve been dating this guy for about six months. When we met, he let me know that he and his girlfriend of several years were on a break. We have had an amazing time together, with tons of laughter and shared interests and even a bunch of amazing weekend trips to ski or hang in the city. About eight weeks into this he let me know he had booked a trip to Asia for two weeks, planned a year ago, with a group of friends, including his ex. Things got more serious with us leading up to that scheduled trip, and as the time got closer, he would tell me planned trip…

“My Husband Has a Secret 14-Year-Old Child From an Affair When We Were Newlyweds”

My husband and I have been married fifteen years, together twenty. I suspected he was having an affair shortly after getting married. I confronted him and he denied it, of course, but I knew something was going on. However, we worked it out and stayed together, and his behavior no longer indicated he was sleeping around. One year ago today a woman contacted me on Facebook saying she has a 14-year-old daughter by my husband whom he’s not caring for. I asked her why she’s waited so long to contact me. She says he paid her money “every so often to keep her quiet.” I asked if a DNA test was performed,…

Shortcuts: “My LDR Boyfriend Has Never Visited Me”

​​It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I am 44 years and I have had a long-distance relationship with my guy for about three years. I have made all the trips in this relationship to visit with him since, as he says, my “schedule is more flexible.” I feel like our relationship is not progressing and I really am not sure if this is what I want anymore….

“My Boyfriend Takes His Former Step-Daughter on Shopping Sprees and Won’t Introduce Me To Her”

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He was previously married for ten years to an older woman who had children. He’s remained close to the ex-step-daughter, eleven years after his divorce. He’s now 41 years old and she’s 29. He takes her to concerts and shopping sprees and dinners. It’s not often — every couple of months — but often enough. When I ask when I’ll meet her, he replies that she’s busy with work, etc. “My Boyfriend Treats His Daughter Like SHE is His Girlfriend” I feel really weird and uneasy about the situation — she’s a grown woman and not a little…

“My Boyfriend Has Asked Me to Never Discuss Politics with Him”

I’m a college student in the South (think Deep South) and I met a guy about two months ago through a mutual friend. “Eric” is also a college student here in the South but at a neighboring university. We’ve now been dating roughly three weeks and we have a problem. I love politics. I an majoring in political science and keep up with many major political events. I want to be a political journalist after graduation. I love talking about politics and political topics; it’s my passion. While I grew up in a red area, I’m a Democrat. He’s not party-affiliated, but he has many opposing ideas to my own. This is…

“My Boyfriend Cheated On Me With Other Men!”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. My boyfriend and I, both in our late 40s, have been together for three months. Things were going fantastic! The sex was amazing. Then I found out he was secretly having sex with men one to two times a month. I was shocked and devastated. I knew this kind of…

“I Don’t Want to Invite my Alcoholic Mother To My Wedding”

My boyfriend and I recently decided we want to get married in May when he’s on leave from the Army before he deploys. We had talked about an intimate wedding on the beach near our hometown, just the two of us and our witnesses, and then when he gets out of the Army we could have a big ceremony with all our loved ones. Now my boyfriend is mentioning that he wants his parents at our intimate wedding. Which is great! I love his family and I would be happy to have them there. The only problem is, if his family is there, I would have to invite my family. I would…

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