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How long is TOO long to wait for someone to say they love you? I feel that, after a certain amount of time in a relationship without it being said, you kind of lose your chance to say it altogether. But I hope I’m wrong. I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. THREE YEARS. I’ve said it accidentally one drunk night around our one-year mark, and he was quick to reply with: “Those words mean more than a one-year relationship warrants.” That’s his point of view and I respect that. So I waited for him to be comfortable with saying it. But, it’s now been three years and still nothing. What…

I was 100% sure that “Jeff” would propose last week (it was a special night for both of us, and one that we both had been looking forward to), but it didn’t happen. Because we talk about everything (my face can’t keep a secret, and he’s not about to let me ruminate in the corner without knowing why), we spent the evening discussing why he hadn’t proposed. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was money. Jeff has a good job as an architect. He works hard and has five- and ten-year plans and retirement goals. However, he doesn’t make enough to feel comfortable, with college debt still looming and…

My husband of twenty-four years left me while I was battling advanced ovarian cancer and breast cancer. Our marriage was rocky before he left. My question is: What type of woman would inject herself into the life of a sick person’s spouse? I don’t care if a man told me his wife was the devil incarnate. I wouldn’t pursue a married man!! My husband left me for an oncological nurse he met at a bar. How could my ex-husband leave me for that type of woman? I think about this almost every minute of every day and it’s going on two years since he left. Please help me to understand. I have…

Thirty years ago I fell into a love that wasn’t meant to be – “Paul” was married – and it was a wrenching separation for both of us. We parted ways and both went on to raise our own families on separate sides of the country because it just had to be done. My kids are off to college now and my husband and I are separating. Wendy, I know you’ve been harsh on these situations before, but please know that hearts are broken and tears shed every day because people don’t necessarily meet the right person at the right time. That long-ago love and I are recently back in contact. He…

I met my partner online last February. He lives in Jamaica and I live in London. My plan was to meet someone online, get to know him, and then eventually migrate to Jamaica. Since I first pursued him online a year ago, we have spoken and video-called nearly every day. I visited him for the first time in November and stayed with him and his family for two weeks. It was perfect, and his family really seemed to like me. When it was time for me to leave, he asked how was he going to manage without me, and I said, “We could get married and then you could come to London.”…

A year ago I met a 49-year-old man online. He’s divorced, with one child (18 years old). Right from the beginning, we had this great connection and good sex together. He a good man, a real friend, and I like everything about him — even his flaws. I told him after six months that I love him. He said to me that he cares a lot for me and that love was there but that he couldn’t go further because of the personal problems he has to solve and he didn’t want to tell me what those were. Then a month later in September he had a stroke (no damage to his…

I’m technically mentally challenged, and though I’m not fond of people, two years ago I met a guy, “Aaron,” and we developed a relationship. But now I have a family member who wants us to stay apart; this family has abused me my whole life, which is the big reason why I tend to stay away from people. But Aaron won my heart and he wants to try despite my low IQ and memory issues and horrible people skills (aside from kids — I adore them so much and love taking care of little ones). I have minor learning problems and some issues because of my past relationships, but he’s the first…

My guy and I have been together two years, and our relationship on many levels is perfect, beyond any expectations. He is kind, considerate, and loving in all his visible actions. He spends as much time with me as possible, he is always doing things for me — like, I just had surgery and he comes and does my laundry, cleans my dishes, cooks food, goes shopping for me–and he is happy to do these things. We have an amazing sexual relationship. He is very generous. He has never said a cross word to me or said anything to ever make me feel bad. But! There are the two issues: He never…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have been with my boyfriend off and on because he goes back and forth between me and his ex who has a baby on the way next month. He and I already have two babies together and we live together, but I’m wondering if it makes sense for me to stay? He has made it clear to the other woman…

I am 20 years old and was in a serious relationship for about two years. I know I am young, but this relationship had so many special qualities that we both thought we would end up together. At the beginning of this year my supposedly perfect relationship ended. My boyfriend dumped me because I would freak out due to major trust issues I have (FYI- don’t really know where these trust issues came from, I suppose it’s a result of my insecurities). He told me he needed his space because my distrust had become too much for him to handle. He didn’t want a permanent break up — he still wanted to talk,…