Columns

I met my partner online last February. He lives in Jamaica and I live in London. My plan was to meet someone online, get to know him, and then eventually migrate to Jamaica. Since I first pursued him online a year ago, we have spoken and video-called nearly every day. I visited him for the first time in November and stayed with him and his family for two weeks. It was perfect, and his family really seemed to like me. When it was time for me to leave, he asked how was he going to manage without me, and I said, “We could get married and then you could come to London.”…

A year ago I met a 49-year-old man online. He’s divorced, with one child (18 years old). Right from the beginning, we had this great connection and good sex together. He a good man, a real friend, and I like everything about him — even his flaws. I told him after six months that I love him. He said to me that he cares a lot for me and that love was there but that he couldn’t go further because of the personal problems he has to solve and he didn’t want to tell me what those were. Then a month later in September he had a stroke (no damage to his…

I’m technically mentally challenged, and though I’m not fond of people, two years ago I met a guy, “Aaron,” and we developed a relationship. But now I have a family member who wants us to stay apart; this family has abused me my whole life, which is the big reason why I tend to stay away from people. But Aaron won my heart and he wants to try despite my low IQ and memory issues and horrible people skills (aside from kids — I adore them so much and love taking care of little ones). I have minor learning problems and some issues because of my past relationships, but he’s the first…

My guy and I have been together two years, and our relationship on many levels is perfect, beyond any expectations. He is kind, considerate, and loving in all his visible actions. He spends as much time with me as possible, he is always doing things for me — like, I just had surgery and he comes and does my laundry, cleans my dishes, cooks food, goes shopping for me–and he is happy to do these things. We have an amazing sexual relationship. He is very generous. He has never said a cross word to me or said anything to ever make me feel bad. But! There are the two issues: He never…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have been with my boyfriend off and on because he goes back and forth between me and his ex who has a baby on the way next month. He and I already have two babies together and we live together, but I’m wondering if it makes sense for me to stay? He has made it clear to the other woman…

I am 20 years old and was in a serious relationship for about two years. I know I am young, but this relationship had so many special qualities that we both thought we would end up together. At the beginning of this year my supposedly perfect relationship ended. My boyfriend dumped me because I would freak out due to major trust issues I have (FYI- don’t really know where these trust issues came from, I suppose it’s a result of my insecurities). He told me he needed his space because my distrust had become too much for him to handle. He didn’t want a permanent break up — he still wanted to talk,…

Last week my in-laws, whom my husband and I are both close to, called us with the news that they’re “adopting a 15-year-old.” This was beyond unexpected; they’ve never mentioned adopting a child, much a less a teenager. My husband pressed them for more details and discovered that the teenager “Jack” goes to their church and, after a weeknight service, asked to come live with them as his mother is dying from cancer and is currently in hospice. These are the facts as relayed by my mother-in-law: – Jack’s father is not in the picture; no one has provided details of the father re. providing any support towards Jack. – Jack’s grandparents…

I’m a 30-year-old divorcee with a son. I have joint custody with my ex-husband. My boyfriend, who is also divorced, has a daughter who is under the sole custody of his ex-wife. I only get to spend time with my son on alternate weekends and my boyfriend doesn’t see his daughter at all. My boyfriend already proposed to me, but one month after proposing, he wants me to give up seeing my son. I did tell him that my parents want to spend time with my son too and they can only do that on the alternate weekends I see him. He told me that he wants to go overseas to work…

I’ve reached some trouble in my three-year relationship with my boyfriend. We can’t seem to agree on the topic of going out and drinking. We do love each other and want to work something out but can’t seem to make it work. He likes to go out and he says it helps him blow off steam and feel good to take a break from everyday life stressors. His mom used to and still does go out clubbing with her friends somewhat frequently, so he thinks this is normal and acceptable. I feel feel abanndoned when he goes out. He usually drinks too much and has in the past gotten into some trouble…