When Hello Means Good-Bye

I was at a function a week ago where a much younger man was flirting with me — he waved and said hi, and I waved back. Then he leaned in to say hello, but I gave him no response and continued to talk with family. My boyfriend, who is very insecure after bad past relationships, can’t get over this. I have promised that, if this should happen again, I will kindly say, “I am flattered by your interest, but I have a boyfriend whom I love, so kindly stop.” I’m sorry I didn’t say that a week ago because I’m paying for it now. What can I do to move forward…

“I Ignored the Red Flags And Now My Boyfriend Won’t Leave!”

I’ve been with my boyfriend four years now. Since meeting him, I always saw red flags but thought we could get past them. He keeps in contact with his exes via Facebook, phone, and text msgs. He told one ex that he’s only using me to get a motorcycle, that he sleeps in his clothes or robe so that his thing won’t touch me, that we don’t have sex, and that I’m ugly. When I approached him, he said he only said those things to see if it would get back to him. I don’t know why I have feelings for him — he’s unemployed, and, though he does watch my kids…

In Other Words: “My Girlfriend Is $170k In Debt And Didn’t Even Know”

From a recent Savage Love column: I’m a 27-year-old male engaged to a 26-year-old female. We have been together 6 years. We met at college. We’ve lived together for almost three years. We have been saving to buy a house together. Well, I have been. She makes less than me and has a lot more debt than me. We got pre approved. We found a house, loved it, got the offer in. Offer accepted. Home inspection went well. Now we are at the stage where the bank needs us to sign 60 documents in order to actually get the house. Last night I found out that she has $90k more debt than…

“How Do You Know You’re Ready To Start Dating Again?”

About a year ago I ended a relationship that wasn’t satisfying with a guy who emotionally abusive. I had a string of unsatisfying relationships before that one, including one that was horribly physically abusive. Now, I can see the signs of a physically abusive relationship, and avoid being in one. After these relationships, I took an extended period of time off from dating to go to therapy and become a better version of myself. I’ve made a lot of progress, but I feel so unsure of myself now when it comes to the idea of dating again. I had started to feel like I was in a good head space to resume…

“Can I Tell My Co-Worker She’s Too Overbearing?”

I work in a small office of about fourteen people and for the most part everyone gets along quite well. “Rachel”, however, is causing everyone a lot of stress due to her overbearing communication style. First, Rachel is a loud talker. If she is speaking, especially in our small break room, no one else can. Literally, you can’t hear anyone else speak. She’s also a “one-upper.” Any problem you manage to bring up, she’s had it way worse. (Or, failing that, she has a distant relative who’s had it way worse.) She’s the type of person who asks about your weekend only because she wants to tell you about hers. Additionally, she…

“His Ex-Wife is ALWAYS Around”

My boyfriend and I met at a birthday party a little over a year ago. We lived in different states and at first just kept in contact. We went on vacation together a few times and did the long-distance thing. Then he asked me to move to his hometown this past July. I had just finished college and he had a growing business and a more steady life, so it made more sense for me to move to him. He lives in a very small town where everyone knows him. Only after moving here did I quickly realize how much his ex-wife is around. My boyfriend’s ex is everywhere. Granted, they were…

“My Sister Tries Hard to Portray a Perfect Life on Facebook”

I’m the youngest of three girls, and the oldest, who has three kids and recently moved back to our town, stresses me out. Now that she’s back, we have begun to see more of her daily struggles. Her two older children are in elementary school and her youngest is one. She gets so frustrated with them and doesn’t seem to enjoy motherhood, yet she works hard to make her life appear perfect on Facebook. She just texted us (my other sister, who also has kids, and me) that she is upset that the kids are out of school again for a snow day. Her husband works from home, and it appears that…

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