“My Wife Doesn’t Try to Impress Me”

I’ve been married to my wife for six years. Last year she had an affair and almost divorced me. Long story short, we worked out our issues, saved our marriage, and are pretty happy together now. I’m a romantic guy, and I always tell her how beautiful she is and how much I love her. I do a lot of housework, leave her special notes, cook for her, surprise her with flowers at work, etc. I’ve even asked her if she could attempt to be a little more romantic with me because it feels kind of flat in that department. She never does any of that stuff for me but tells me…

“He Bought Another Woman Socks”

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. We don’t have sex much because he is unhappy with the way he looks after putting weight on from quitting smoking. Even in the beginning of our relationship we never did it because of other circumstances. I think he looks amazing and I am still very turned on by him. Recently,…

I Have Cold Feet Because of His Debt

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. I’m 39 and he is 44. His parents got a divorce when he was at the tender age of four (he was and is an only child). His mother was unhappy and not ready to be a mother, so she abandoned him for the next ten years and was not a part of his life. To this day she calls him weekly but he does not have any motherly connection with her, which he often feels guilty about. My boyfriend lived with his father and is not financially successful or stable. He studied law and has a JD, but…

In Other Words: “My Husband Put Our Pet Rat in the Freezer”

This “Dear Prudence” letter appeared earlier this month in Salon: I asked my husband to take our ailing rat to the veterinarian to be euthanized last Thursday. The rat was almost 2 years old and had a tumor on its mouth, but it was still a friendly animal that was so gentle. When I came home from work, he said he had “taken care of it.” It turns out he froze the rat in our deep freeze. I have been crying and grieving over this all weekend. We are barely speaking. He loves animals and didn’t think this would hurt the rat. He later apologized to me via text message. I am…

“My In-Laws Want to Crash the First Week of My Baby’s Life”

My husband and I are expecting our first child in a couple of months (on Thanksgiving), and we are having some issues with my in-laws that I’m hoping you can help me with. My in-laws live out of state, and they are planning on coming into town to visit when the baby is born. I’m a pretty private person, and they can be very overwhelming. We’ve asked both families (mine is out of state as well) to please give us the first week to ourselves before coming to visit, but his parents told us they’re coming up for Thanksgiving anyway, because it is convenient for them and it’d be too difficult to…

“Do I Have Too Much Baggage For Him?”

I am divorced with two daughters, ages 15 and 12. My partner is divorced, too, but he has no kids. We have been together for two years now but only see each other twice a week. He wants marriage and kids. He speaks a lot about this. The thing that worries me is we can’t sort out when he will move in with me and my girls. He gets on with my youngest but not so much my eldest as she can be quite confident and forthcoming. I’m surprised he still likes me with my baggage. How do you make things work when things are like this? — Comes With Baggage

“I Still Don’t Have a Baby and It’s All My Boyfriend’s Fault!”

I’m 26 and have been in a relationship for the last six years with a man twelve years older than I, who has two kids, and whom I started living with almost immediately after we met. I never had any kids myself, but I’ve been pregnant twice and had abortions both times. I regret the decisions to abort every day, especially since now I yearn for kids of my own and haven’t been able to get pregnant with my boyfriend. About a year into our relationship, I realized that I had never seen him ejaculate before, so one night during sex I asked him about it and he was very nervous. I…

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