17 Things Every Couple MUST Discuss Before Getting Married

This article, first published in August, 2012, as “15 Things Every Couple MUST Discuss Before Getting Married,” has been updated as of March, 2018, and is now titled “17 Things Every Couple MUST Discuss Before Getting Married.” I’ve been writing an advice column in some shape or form for close to fourteen years now, and I can say with confidence that at least 75% of the letters I receive from married people are about issues that could have been avoided if the couples had better communicated their expectations about married life before tying the knot. Letters in which a husband and wife have drastically different ideas on where they’d like to raise…

Dating Tip: Try Going Against Type

Years ago, back when I was single, I was lamenting to some friends about the state of my love life when one of them asked what, exactly, I was looking for. I rattled off a fairly extensive list of all the traits — physical and otherwise — I was attracted to (tall, funny, big nose, glasses, maybe a swimmer’s body, dimples, etc., etc.), and she said, “Oh! I know the perfect guy for you!” Long story short, she set me up on a blind date with this guy who didn’t wear glasses, wasn’t particularly tall, didn’t have dimples, wasn’t a swimmer, and had an average-sized nose. In short, he wasn’t really my…

Dear Wendy’s All-Time Most Popular Wedding Columns

When I started started this site over three years ago, I had no idea that weddings would prove to be such a controversial and emotionally-charged topic. But over the last few years, I have received more wedding-related letter than on any other topic, and with few exceptions the columns devoted to those letters attract hundreds of commenters and significant traffic. In honor of Wedding Week here on Dear Wendy, here is a round-up of the site’s all-time most popular wedding columns. (I know at least a few will spark a trip down memory lane…)  

The Six Things You Need for a Happy, Longterm Relationship

On your search for a good one – and it only takes one — there are a few things you need in order to have a happy, longterm relationship. Yesterday, I asked the DW community on Facebook for six things that were most important for them in their search for a happy, longterm relationship. Here are some of the answers I liked best: 1. “Communication, ability to spend time apart, both people willing to invest in the relationship, someone to share chocolate with, and the same overall goals with the relationship.” 2. “A delicious cheesecake recipe, a willingness to make said cheesecake, a generosity of spirit to share said cheesecake, the foresight…

20 Tips for Surviving a Breakup

Whether you were together for a decade or just a few months, are the dumper or the dumpee (although, let’s face it, the former is better), breakups suck. Unfortunately, they’re also a part of life and most of us at some point or another will experience one. Some of us will experience many. But the good news is we all get through them. And here are 20 tips for making them a little easier to deal with:    

25 Dos and Don’ts for Surving Wedding Season and Being a Great Guest

If you’re around, oh, 28 or so (22, if you’re from the South), you may even have 5-7 wedding invites you’re wading through this summer (10 or more if you’re Mormon). And with tight budgets, limited vacation time, and issues with fellow guests, to say nothing of the state of your own personal relationship (or lack thereof), other people’s weddings may be your own private battleground. So after the jump, 25 tips for surviving the season with your sanity, heart, wallet and pride still intact.    

8 Things You Need to Do Before You Move For Love

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. You can read more advice on long distance relationships here. Over six years ago, I met Drew, my now-husband, on a blind date while I was visiting New York for the weekend. I lived in Chicago, and a year and a half after we met I decided to leave my friends and home in Chicago and close the gap in our long distance relationship. This month, we’ll celebrate our…

15 Things Couples Should Do Before Moving in Together

Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other should do before shacking up together, after the jump.

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