Dear Wendy’s All-Time Most Popular Wedding Columns

wedding 4When I started started this site over three years ago, I had no idea that weddings would prove to be such a controversial and emotionally-charged topic. But over the last few years, I have received more wedding-related letter than on any other topic, and with few exceptions the columns devoted to those letters attract hundreds of commenters and significant traffic. In honor of Wedding Week here on Dear Wendy, here is a round-up of the site’s all-time most popular wedding columns. (I know at least a few will spark a trip down memory lane…)


“My In-Laws Never Gave us a Wedding Gift”
The LW wondered whether she should come out and ask her brand new in-laws where the hell their wedding gift was.

“Do We Have to Invite Plus Ones To Our Wedding?”
This woman wanted to know whether she really HAD to invite spouses even though she’d never met them. Doing so would make the guest list almost twice as long! And, literally, there just was NO space in the venue for all these extras.

“People Won’t Stop Posting About My Wedding on Facebook!”
This LW was annoyed that friends were posting pictures of her wedding invitation on Facebook and Instagram, worrying that unexpected/uninvited guests would see the pictures and show up at the wedding.

“I’m Pissed that My Boyfriend is Going to a Wedding Without Me”
This is what happens when you don’t include “plus-ones.”

My Fiancé’s Groomsman Has No Teeth!
Never forget!

“Should I ask Wedding Guests Why I Haven’t Received a Gift From Them?”
You know, probably not…

“My Friends Are Already Bailing on My Non-Traditional Wedding Celebration”
Reading this letter, many commenters wondered: Is it a wedding celebration if the wedding was three months earlier and none of the guests were invited?

“I Don’t Want Kids at My Destination Wedding”
The LW updated us here.

“She Wants to Bring a Baby to Our Wedding”
Not only did she want to bring her newborn baby to a wedding that was supposed to be kid-free, but she also wanted him to be a ring bearer to boot because, you know, it’s all about her.

“Being a Bridesmaid is Breaking My Budget!”
That shit’s expensive.

“Should I Tell My Friend Why I Don’t Want Her in My Wedding?”
I’d be surprised if these two are still on speaking terms.


  1. Avatar photo iwannatalktosampson says:

    Didn’t the toothless groomsman bride update too? That is my absolute favorite dw letter ever.

  2. LOL at “never forget”

    1. Avatar photo call-me-hobo says:

      I feel like “Toothless Groomsman” and “Never Seen My BF’s house” are DW badges of honor. Those are the letters (and updates) that bind us together, lol!

      1. Avatar photo beelzebarb says:

        Those two are definitely Hall of Famers. For some reason, I also remember one from a bride-to-be. It was really long and described a litany of atrocious behavior from an old friend who was supposed to be a bridesmaid. Her ultimate question was whether she should dump the friend. All Wendy wrote was “Yes.” Cracked me up.

      2. And we also can’t forget the picture that went with the toothless groomsman letter! Truly truly classic!

  3. I miss Spaceboy.

  4. ohhhh the toothless groomsman. most infamous letter ever?

    1. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

      That and Ramona.

  5. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

    You guys, this week is going to be HELL for me. I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up with the first annual wedding week! (Just assumign this becomes an annual thing.) Will someone remember everything posted and then summarize it for me later? Please? Thanks!

    1. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

      Wendy did wedding week last year too. So this is the second annual?

      1. Avatar photo Dear Wendy says:

        Yep, second annual — get with it, AP!

      2. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

        I’m so confused, I think AP posted that last year? these time stamps make me anxious.

      3. Avatar photo Dear Wendy says:

        Oops, you’re right. I re-posted this from last year with some updates, hence the old comments. Sorry for the confusion!

  6. Sunshine Brite says:

    I am loving this week and am super excited for the rest of it. I’m also crossing my fingers that wedding planning will continue to go smoothly and I won’t have to write in about anything.

    1. Sunshine Brite says:

      Lol, till thinking this. However there’s about 6 weeks left and I have a lot of business to do. Taming the inner bridezilla one calming breath at a time. It’s mainly my anxiety that I try to hid in most occasions thinking that the sky is falling.

  7. SpaceySteph says:

    So reading back through them, there’s a hilarious discussion bashing the bouquet toss. I think its the dumbest thing and cut it out of my old wedding. But my favorite picture from my best friend’s January wedding is of the bouquet toss.

    She made all the bridesmaids participate, so we’re all standing there and nobody moved for the bouquet except the bride’s cousin. She’s all alone diving for it while the rest of us just stand there. Amazing.

    1. blarfengar says:

      That sounds hilarious. I skipped the bouquet toss as well. Instead, I had an anniversary dance. The DJ asked all of the married couples to come out on to the dance floor together and then as the song played he asked people to leave the floor based on how long they had been married. So he announced 3 hours – H and I left. Then 1 year and a few more couples left, and then 5 years, 10 years, you get the point. I gave my bouquet to the last couple out there – they had been married for 56 years. Quite a few of my single gal pals thanked me, and my aunt (who got the bouquet) was really thrilled.

    2. lets_be_honest says:

      I’m confused. How do you know who gets married next if you don’t do the toss?

      1. Avatar photo LlamaPajamas says:

        It’s like when brides don’t wear white and then you KNOW what they were doing before they got married. And it wasn’t pure.

      2. If I ever get married, I’m wearing a scarlet letter.

    3. I hate the bouquet toss and definitely didn’t have it at our reception. Also, I’ve been hit on the head by the flying bouquet 3x.

      1. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

        I’ve hid in the bathroom more than once to avoid the bouquet toss. It’s the worst. We skipped it at our wedding too.

      2. I think I hid in the bathroom every single time after being hit on the head. I come from a crazy, WASPy family and if you are over 25 and not married, there’s something wrong with you. There were times I was literally pushed up to the dance floor to participate. I think it scarred me for life.

      3. I have gone to the restroom, bar, outside, etc. at MANY a wedding to avoid the bouquet toss! So embarrassing.

    4. I am very much not a fan of the bouquet toss. I was forced to participate in the bouquet toss at my uncle’s wedding. Unfortunately it went straight for me and landed at my feet. Then my first cousin caught the garter and they apparently had this tradition where you have the guy who catches it put the garter on the girl who caught the bouquet? I was to grossed out (and am not very close with my cousin), so I just left and someone else stood in. Question: is the reverse taking the garter off a thing?

  8. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

    Did the chair fight make the list? 😉

  9. Temperance says:

    I really, really was hoping that we would get an update from Toothless Groomsman this week. That is probably my favorite letter to date.

  10. i wish we had an update about the crazy SIL who was insisting on not only bringing her baby, but making him part of the wedding party!

  11. I wish there was a “Wendy’s Guide on How to Deal With Wedding PTSD.”

    1. It’s been 2.5 years and I still have wedding PTSD.

      1. Not that I’m happy you still have residuals, but I’m glad I’m not the only one.

  12. Reading all of these old columns makes me miss ReginaRey.

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