DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I am so sorry you feel like this right now.
But look, the level of drama and ridiculousness and BS this guy was bringing after just a handful of dates was a huge NOPE. He was a walking bouquet of red flags. I knew he was going to come back from NYC and freak out and bail on you because that’s what guys like this do after they drop a drama bomb on you and say they can’t kiss you because REASONS!
You have time. 33 is young. But you really should find a therapist and get to the bottom of this pattern or you’re destined to repeat it again and again. There is some work I think you need to do.
@TheLadyE, so sorry that you are hurting. 33 is NOT old so don’t worry about that. It’s for the best that you’re done with this guy, although I know you really liked him, because as Kate said he did have tons of red flags. I’m pissed off for you that he waited until you were breaking up to make out. WTF?!
@ktfran We hadn’t kissed yet, no; he got back from his trip this weekend and came to my house for dinner last night. I really can’t and don’t want to talk about exactly why but he can’t be in a relationship right now because he is in recovery from an addiction and doesn’t want to drag me through the recovery steps because he said it will destroy us and he can’t put me through that. He cried a lot. I was just in shock; I think I still am. Then we held each other for a long time and then we kissed and then just kept kissing for about 7 hours. And crying. And hugging. And kissing. And then he left around 6:30am. It was really, really emotional.
I know age doesn’t matter, but I am just really sad. He was going to come to my birthday party. 🙁 We even had plans this Friday. I feel so numb about it all.
Sounds like bullshit to me. if you’re in recovery, you do not date. He’s been dating for months. Wtf did he think he was doing? More likely he made up this drama.
@theLadyE I know you’re hurting, but seriously? Fuck that guy. He told you a little over a week ago he didn’t want to kiss you – let alone makeout – until you were in an exclusive relationship, strung you along while he was away, letting you think when he got back it would be just that, then drops a bomb on you? I am so pissed on your behalf. Be sad for what you thought was going to happen, but once that dissipates, I hope you realize what a huge dick this guy is.
Not for nothing, but I was still single when I turned 33 and started dating and fell in love with my now husband that year. It’s a good year, so keep that chin up. And definitely talk to someone because you are worth a hell of a lot more than the way these assholes are treating you.
@Kate He said he thought he was ready which is why he got back on OKCupid because he’s been in recovery for 2 years. He’d gone out with a couple other girls but never got to a 2nd date with them, much less a 10th like he did with me. He said after meeting me and seeing it could really go somewhere he realized he was not ready yet. That’s why he was so scared. TBH I definitely believe him, but I feel…awful. He also took down OKCupid now for good.
UGH. The idea of dating again makes my stomach turn right now.
What a super ridiculous shitty thing to do to you. I agree with Lianne in that you should take some time and mourn what you thought and hoped this guy was, but I hope you eventually see him for the jerk wad he is. People don’t treat people they care about this way. They just don’t.
Yeah I’m going to agree that this guy pulled a total dick move. Be sad for now. I get it. Give yourself a few days to mourn what you thought it could be. But seriously, don’t feel sorry for him. He’s a dumbass who strung you along. Even if he wasn’t being purposely malicious, his emotional intelligence is zero. MOA, you deserve better and you’ll find it.
Firstly @theladyE – I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. It sucks when you’re really excited about something/someone and it doesn’t work out. Take good care of yourself and feel sad if you need to, it IS sad.
But secondly, I don’t understand this guy’s game? Like, why lead her on like this? What was all of that about wanting some time to think if it was going to be exclusive? I just don’t get it…
