@MissDre, glad to know I’m not the only one. My dad used it and had tons of success (he said women kept messaging him), but he lives closer to NYC so that helped I think. He did meet his girlfriend through eHarmony! She lives an hour away, but now that they’re both retired they take turns staying at each other’s places.

So I decided that since my last 3 relationships were with guys I was a 97% or higher match with on OKCupid, and the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…I’m going to try How About We?, and I’m paying for a membership as a birthday present to myself. It actually looks really cool and there are a lot of fresh faces that I haven’t seen on OKCupid, so that’s good!

And also I have a date tonight with a guy I started talking to on OKCupid a couple weeks ago, but I literally have zero expectations for it. The thing with Lion Tamer stung pretty badly (there’s a lot more to it than I wrote here, but I don’t want to get into it – although I do see that I really dodged a bullet), but it’ll be nice to just sit across from someone new and talk. He seems fun and we have some similar interests…so we’ll see!

@Kate I know, I was being somewhat facetious. 🙂

@Lianne Yes, I did a lot of processing this week and while I’ll continue to process, the harsh reality is that Lion Tamer was/is mentally ill, has deep-seated issues, and is also an addict and I can’t drag him through his recovery. It’s not my responsibility. I did really like him (or at least I liked who he was when he was taking his medicine – like I said it’s a long story, which came out in bits and pieces throughout this week) but at least it was only about 5 weeks of my life before the other shoe dropped. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s just too big for me. It’s tragic and I wish it were different, but that’s the way it is.

I have learned a lot through this, and other than a relationship actually working out I guess that’s the best I can hope for, right? I guess what I’m saying is I do think I have a good grasp on my pattern and I’m more confident about what I bring to a relationship and not afraid to ask for what I want. Just the fact that I asked Lion Tamer to kiss me rather than waiting for months on end is progress.

I’m not perfect and I’m still going to seek out some therapy, but I think I am still OK to start meeting new people and see what happens. I’ve also reached out to a few of my friends and asked if they know any single guys who share my faith that they might set me up with, since I’ve never really done that before and I feel like it might be a little less risky since the guy will already be somewhat vetted, if that makes sense.

The guy tonight rescheduled for tomorrow, though, anyway. So we’ll see. Like I said, very low expectations at this point.

@Lianne Thank you, that means a lot. 🙂 I am pretty sad and disappointed about what happened with Lion Tamer, but I can categorically say that it was not my fault and I did everything I could. He pushed me away pretty definitively and wants to isolate himself, so that’s that. And I do believe I am worth more.

@Moneypenny if you do look into Meetup groups eventually I hope you’ll enjoy them! Aside from meeting my boyfriend through the hiking group I met a bunch of other friends, and then through a 20- and 30-something women meetup I made a couple of close female friends and it helped me reconnect with a friend who had also joined.