Going to respectfully question a few of the above comments.

“If you don’t feel good about yourself no one else will. That’s it Veritek.”
It seems like you’re saying that the *sole* reason Veritek is single is that she doesn’t feel good about herself. I feel like there’s a lot of societal messaging surrounding this — that once you feel really really great about yourself, you’re definitely going to get into a great, happy, long-term relationship…but I don’t completely buy that. I think there are tons of sort of insecure people in relationships. I also think that you can be happy with yourself, but still be single when you don’t want to be. Others?

“No more from here, write when you have awesome dates.”
What? Do you think Veritek should stop commenting, even though she’s the one who started the thread?

“When it does not go your way or things get tough it seems like you make an excuse or blow it off with a shrug.”
This is actually the opposite of what I’ve read here — it seems to me like Veritek sometimes beats herself up way too much, but not others. She also seems to put lots of thought into dating situations, rather than blowing things off.

“Sure you can say you listen but you have to as you are now putting out the flames of last weekend.”
Wait, so are you saying Veritek doesn’t follow dating advice? What examples are you thinking of? And by “putting out the flames” are you saying that you think Veritek behaved in a really unreasonable or stupid way? I’m just not seeing that based on what was written.

Yay for winning a massage, that sounds awesome! Pets and scandal sounds like a lovely evening Veritek. I am toasting your relaxing night with my hot tea–have you tried Sweet and Spicy tea from Good Earth? So good and caffeine free.

I did some serial dating a couple years ago when I discovered online dating. It was nice to have a couple nights a week dedicated to going on a date. It did get exhausting and now I try not to do that anymore. Max talking to 2 guys at once. But I usually decide after the 2nd date whether I want to continue seeing the guy, or after the 1st depending.

And I really hope things get sorted out with TT guy. It did seem like you were really into him, and enthusiastic to overlook the distance and make the effort, as did TT. But sometimes even enthusiasm has it’s limits, and what ever happens happens. In the end you need to do what is right for you as a person mentally and physically.

Hey @Veritek, I just want to chime in and say, I love this thread. I’m truly sorry for the responses a certain commenter has been giving you. We, that have read along with you in DW and in the forums for so long, know you are doing your best with yourself, and your dating life, and that’s all anyone can do.
Its often refreshing to read this post and follow along with your and other stories of dating and relationships. Many wrote in today about their past struggles, then dating breaks, then meeting the right person, as I’ve written about my past many times, too. Never did I have the hindsight you have, nor the brutal advice and responses you sometimes get. You take it all as gracefully as anyone could. I couldn’t, personally. I can’t imagine how hard it is to share your personal life with others, even anonymously, and be open to constant criticism and feedback. You are like a secret DW dater X. Complete with commenters of all kinds.
Be easy on yourself. Take care of you, focus on your self care. I love routines, too. Humans do well with routine. Practice deep breaths, and the power of distraction, those techniques seriously help me through stressful times (especially emotionally abusive mom ones.)
As for TT, I think you just need to not dwell on it right now. It’ll either work out, or it won’t. Focus on you. If he’s more stress and worry than good, carefree times, then the obvious answer is to stop seeing him. But you need to do what feels good to you, not what a bunch of strangers think, including everything I’ve just said. Anyway, Internet hugs!

I mean this is a general chat thread, so even though advice is offered (and I personally appreciate it), it’s a dick move for someone to reprimand someone for not taking advice they never asked for. GFTO jimmyjam if people supporting one another is too boring or inane for you. Sorry we don’t have awesome date stories for you to live through vicariously?

I mean my stories are all basically, “FWB and I went out for a drink. We had awesome conversation that was awesome. Then we had sex the was also awesome. I went home and had awesome sleep because my awesome night wore me out. Awesome,”…which is actually pretty boring despite being awesome.

I’m enjoying reading everyone’s stories about personal growth. And the routine advice. I need a routine. My apartment is just a disaster, so I need a good cleaning routine that isn’t daunting.