@Lianne @Veritek Well we have actually been really really solid lately. Our communication has improved, we are both trying to be more considerate of each other. We have sort of discussed the future of the relationship and realized that while we would like a long one, we want totally different styles of polyamory. He wants solo, unentwined poly (no hierarchy, no desire to live with a partner ever), and I would at some point like a primary partner to share my life with. And so we’ve been rebuilding our relationship as something very different than what it was before. All that to say, he’s not my main partner anymore, though that is a small point.
We had a really good talk about it yesterday, and he knows that his feelings are unreasonable and somewhat hypocritical. And he’s not actually wanting or needing me to change the way I am doing things. But this is the first time I’ve been really excited about anyone else since he and I got together, and he’s having an understandably difficult time with it, because feelings are irrational. At some point we are going to have to deal with me having a relationship that escalates beyond this one, and that’s going to be rough too, but I think we can do it.

Also Ver, that’s so exciting! I’ve always thought that it might be fun to try crossfit. It seems like such a great way to get in shape and let off steam.

So interesting, stone! First of all, I couldn’t do polyamory myself, but am fascinated by it and its complexities. I agree with Ver that it sounds like you are taking a mature approach to this. I am still confused as to what his issue is, or even will be in the future once you get more serious with someone enough for them to be your main partner, just based on his desire to be solo in his love life….

I don’t have advice, Stone. But it sounds like you’re being very mature and understanding about everything.

Ver, the only way I clean is if I smoke beforehand. No idea why. It just makes me focused somehow? Last weekend I cleaned for 4 hours straight. Now I’m beginning the process of cleaning out my closet. I really need to revamp mt wardrobe.

(To be honest, I think he’s also somewhat worried about being displaced because new guy and I have a lot more in common)

@Ver I buy myself a really good audiobook when I really need to clean, smoke a bowl, and then go to town. Seems to work.

@Lianne Well, there’s the occasional moments of ‘poly bliss’ when everything is going really well with all involved partners and the happiness that everyone feels just multiplies. But for me, I think the main benefit is just the freedom to explore connections and see where they go, without having to shut them down at some arbitrary point because developing further emotional connection would be “inappropriate”. I have a lot of friendships, with varying levels of cuddliness and emotional connection, and I get to have those without worrying that I’m betraying someone. I like having committed relationships (no, I *love* having committed relationships), but I wouldn’t trade all of those other connections for one. So while I have wondered at times if it’s all worth it, I come to the conclusion every single time that it absolutely is to me.

Haha that’s my struggle. Apparently when you dump your dealer, you no longer have that connection. Then you lose your OTHER connection when you attempt to have sex with the guy after 8 years of on and off flirtation, but he can’t keep it up so you never speak again. Obviously I’m in favor of legalization because I’m an idiot that often mixes business and pleasure.

Omg I love my sock drawer! I fold my socks together into tiny rectangles and stack them. So satisfying.