DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@stone I wish that’s what I’d done! lol I ended up on a last minute date with a guy that I had been talking to before my self imposed dating app break. He asked me out and I said sure since he seemed nice. We went to dinner, he talked about his sports injuries the whole time,said he’d have to get home early for video games with his roommate, and didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day (first date I didn’t expect anything other than maybe saying “happy valentines day” which I said to him and he was like “really? it’s valentines day?” dude, do you live in a hole?) and then he wanted to split the check. I realize not everyone will agree with me but in the midwest, 99% of the time, if a guy asks you out on a date he offers to pay for the dinner. If I ask a guy out, I offer to pay, so it’s not a sexist thing. I always make sure I can afford to pay for my dinner, and I did, it just really surprised me when he asked to split it. (It was a burger joint so my dinner was like, 9 bucks) So I should have just stayed home with my crab cakes and pets!! Lesson learned, when taking a dating break, fully commit to the break!
@kare I love rollerblading! I take my “little sister” to the roller rink all the time, she loves it! And I get to feel like a badass because I can still skate really fast without dying. My ankles always hurt afterward though, which means I’m not 12 anymore.
Is having to split your meal on a first date really a deal breaker these days? Or were there other issues? I mean, I am with you…I usually liked to be treated on the first date if the guy did the asking, but I don’t think I would never go out with someone again if we split the meal.
But yeah, if you all are going to take breaks from dating, take breaks from dating!!!! 🙂
I don’t think most single guys pay attention to whether it’s Valentine’s Day or not. I certainly wouldn’t hold that against someone. That’d be like if I didn’t realize it was Superbowl Sunday and a guy wondered if I lived in a hole. No, I don’t; I just don’t give a shit about football and generally am not exposed to sports news because it’s not part of my life/ social network/ media consumption. And, I don’t know, he might have felt a little embarrassed when you pointed out that it was Valentine’s Day, in a “Oh, I hope she doesn’t think this is a Valentine’s date” and then he might have erred on the side of being anti-romantic with the sports injury talk and splitting the bill. Just a theory.
Bassanio can never remember what date is Valentine’s Day. He usually gets in the right ballpark (mid-February), but February 14 just can’t stuck in his head.
That story about the accidental Valentine’s date made me think of this story line from The Office: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/10/12/31/101231abb74a3e983468fa20dc1e4765.jpg
I’m in the South, and typically I expect a guy to at least offer to pay on the first date if he invited me. But it’s not a huge deal if we split it. The wanting to leave sooner rather than later to play video games is a red flag to me though. Video games are fun and all, but if you want to speed through a date to play gars with your bros, we’re at different stages in life. How old was this guy? I’ve stopped dating guys under 30. Well the FWB is actually 40…but damn he’s in amazing shape.
@Kare Well since it’s been over a decade and I don’t really remember much of anything, we’re starting at Algebra 2, and then I think he said we’ll move on to trigonometry (“And once we get there I can start teaching you a little physics!”), and calculus? I think? He seems to have a curriculum worked out for me for the next year and a half 😀
@Veritek That does sound like kind of a lame date. A bubble bath would have been much more enjoyable! I think Wendy is probably onto something re: overcompensating in the other direction after he realized it was Valentine’s Day. On the whole, I think it’s a good idea to avoid first dates (which should be fairly casual ‘let’s make sure neither of us is blatantly crazy and that we enjoy being around each other’ affairs) on a holiday that is generally associated with cupid’s arrows and romance.
@missDre Aw, that is a bummer! Hope everyone around you recovers soon.
None of the things on their own we’re deal breakers but combined I just wasn’t feeling it. I definitely don’t mind paying, it’s just like Kare said, 99% of the time, if the guys asks he offers to pay in this area of the country. But I always make it a point to order something reasonable that I can pay for, which I did. Just surprised me. And I didn’t mean to make him feel bad about v day, I just said happy v day! And he seemed completely surprised. Long story short, just not a good fit. I should have stayed at home with the pups and Walter cronkat 🙂
The needing to get home early to play video games with roommate thing is the key here. It renders the going Dutch thing moot. If a guy said that to me I would think, ok, he must not be interested because what guy would try to leave a promising date situation early with a lame excuse like that? And then, knowing he’s not interested in me or in making a good impression, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he suggested splitting the check. In fact, I’d already have my money down on the table and be thinking about my bubble bath.
Hahaha I’m glad the video game thing was odd to more than just me. And I FINALLY got my bubble bath last night. Better late than never 🙂
The video game thing is weird, but it was his immature/unsophisticated way of driving home the message that he wasn’t interested in you. I’m willing to be that after you brought to his attention that it was Valentine’s Day — which he clearly wasn’t aware of/ hadn’t thought about (because it’s rarely on the radar of single guys like it’s on the radar of single women) — he was a little worried that you thought that this was a Valentine’s Day Date and that there was more weight than just a casual first date where you’re seeing if there’s a spark. I think he probably felt pretty quickly that there wasn’t a spark and then wanted to make sure you didn’t think there was one. Well, mission accomplished, right?
Dating guys five to ten years older than this guy, whom you say is 30, won’t eliminate this kind of insensitive and immature behavior completely, but it would reduce it considerably, I think.
