DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Any good dates over the weekend? My FWB and I went to a nice restaurant since it was the one year anniversary of our first date. Then we went bar-hopping, but neither one of us is drinking at the moment for health reasons. I think it says a lot about how much you enjoy someone’s company when you can have an awesome time totally sober in a biker bar.
@kare That’s nice – happy anniversary!
No dates for me; I’ve been out with 2 of my close guy friends the last two weekends in a row, so my “date” this weekend was my dog. We needed some time to reconnect! And, also, I’m incredibly busy with work right now so dating is kind of on the back burner.
no dates here! Officially ended the FWB with the guy last week as his attention is now fully on the other women in the group. We went camping last weekend and it was super awkward with him fawning over her non stop. Then this weekend he toned it down and it was less awkward, so I had more fun on this camping trip. I have no idea if they are dating, friends or FWB, but I am treating them as dating as he seems to be pretty open with physical affection with her (touching so far…).
Anyways! I went to Waterton Lakes Park in Alberta, then went to AMERICA! First time for me (technically as a very young kid I went to the states but don’t recall any of it, so first visit for me that I can remember) I went to Glacier National Park in Montana with 4 others, and had a blast! Such a gorgeous park! LOVE IT. Definitely would go back. Weather held up till the end of the day, then it poured and stormed. So I slept in my car last night cause my tent is crap and leaked a ton during the rain we got in the early evening.
Well I made myself feel even shittier by emailing Pilot Jones this week… and of course getting no response, and then reprimanding myself for reaching out after telling myself to forget his ass… So I am going to continue to try really hard to ACTUALLY forget his ass!
@Cleopatra yeah you should definitely forget this guy… I mean there’s nothing wrong with him dating other people but it’s too weird and close to home if he’s doing it IN FRONT of you. I wouldn’t be down for that.
Dre! Write those emails if you have to, but send them to yourself. 2 months. Had no regard for your feelings (saying “I didn’t want to break your heart” means nothing). Blocked you. Moved across the world. If there was ever a case for “no contact ever again,” this is it.
Actually, it does mean something, though. “I didn’t want to break your heart” after 2 months of long-distance dating, as an excuse for going dark for a week, means any or all of the following: He’s pretty freaking full of himself; he knows you’re way more invested in this than he is; he actually doesn’t care that much about your feelings, because if he did, he’d have shot you a message or two in response to yours – or, better yet, been honest with you that he was considering a job in the Middle East rather than pretending everything was lovey dovey great. His behavior all along has been that of a guy who’s “smooth” at best, unavailable at worst.
Yep, I know. He’s a dick for the way he handled ALL OF THIS and I seriously wish I could just “turn off” my feelings — the good, the bad, basically everything Wendy said in her post this morning about why we may still feel connected to someone even if it isn’t reciprocated. Need to turn all that shit off and forget about him.
@MissDre – I’d suggest deleting his contact information. I know what it’s like when you’re compelled to send an ex a message (and have done so in the past), but always end up cringing about reaching out when I’m over it. Even if he DID respond, would that make you feel better? I don’t think it would, tbh. Do what you can to find closure from within. A 2-month relationship with someone who didn’t care about your feelings isn’t worth staying hung up.
I went on a very pleasant first date with an Englishman on Saturday evening. He wants to go out again and I’m open to that. Only downside is that he works as a consultant and travels a lot for work. He’ll be in North Carolina more often than not the next few months, and with both of our schedules, it’s looking like we won’t be able to go out again until September at the earliest. For now it’s fine since we’re just getting to know one another, but I guess I don’t see myself with someone who is out of town more often than he’s IN town.
I don’t think you have to turn it off instantly. Obviously it was really hurtful. You just have to not contact him. Were you trying to get an explanation/closure? If so, I very much doubt you’d ever get it. He has shown himself to be unforthcoming or straight-up dishonest.
@MissDre Ugh, we’ve all been there. I think that you don’t need to beat yourself up over it. You slipped, got emotional, regret sending. I always have a friend be my sponsor (like AA) that I can call at any time, no problem if I get the overwhelming urge to reach out to the ex (I’ll do this for maybe a week or two after, and have been this person to others). Get thee a sponsor. In a few more months you’ll look back and be like “uh that guy was a tool.”
No dates for me, but I came to the happy conclusion I don’t want a bf or really to date, just something casual. Which is hard for me because I do not like casual with strangers and I don’t sleep with friends. So reasons why the guy that I dated for 3 months is coming over to help me hang something today. I had asked him about what tools I needed and he offered to come over and do it for me so I didn’t have to buy a bunch of stuff, with no ulterior motive. I’m feeling super over it, he’s a nice (albeit, kind of nuts) guy, so might see if I can at least get something fun out of it for the night. Our mutual friends are like “go for it and we’re all betting that he shoots me down or cries. Me, I’ll just be happy to get help hanging the wall art I have and if he doesn’t want to do anything else, I genuinely would just be like *shrug* your loss.
