DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Veritek, what apps or websites do you currently use for dating? I used Bumble over the summer and really enjoyed it. I was actually able to get a few dates through it but now it seems like guys have moved on from using the app because I haven’t been getting any matches the last two months. Such a bummer. Bumble didn’t trigger my anxiety like a lot of other dating apps do.
@veritek I’m not sure. I enjoy spending time with him besides just sex, but I’m not in a hurry to settle down. And my FWB is so amazing that it would take a lot for me to give him up.
Yesterday my 16 year old cat was acting odd and wasn’t eating, so my FWB took us to the vet and stayed the whole 3 hours while the vet ran tests, administered medicine, and fluids. My cat is a little better, but unfortunately I think he’s nearing the end. I barely slept so today my FWB brought me coffee and came to check on us (I’m afraid to leave my cat alone because when I leave his side his breathing gets worse).
So basically,I will never be exclusive with someone that doesn’t treat me as well as my FWB.
@kicia I’m probably the worst person to ask that question because clearly I’m still single so it’s not working too well. However, I currently use Tinder and Bumble. With OKCupid I just kept getting offers for threesomes or messages from dudes in Morocco wanting me to be their princess so I deleted that one. The only exception on that was my ex from 2 years ago that I met on OKC and we dated for 9-10 months.
On Match.com I was paying for it and literally cannot remember the last actual date I got out of it. Around here people use tinder for meeting people and relationships and not just hookups (though it’s used plenty for that as well.) I actually met my friend the firefighter on Tinder – we’ve never been romantic but we have become good friends. So that’s my tinder success story
I like the premise of bumble and I do use it, but it seems to skew younger for some reason. I’m 32 and I keep getting matched with a bunch of 28 year olds and hardly anyone my age or older. I’ve been on a few dates from bumble but nothing long lasting. But it’s just like tinder in that you can start a conversation with someone that “matched” with you, and they’ll never respond. I’m glad it’s not triggering your anxiety! Maybe after the new year you’ll get some more matches?
@kare that’s definitely a good enough reason to not want to change that situation! He does sound like a really great guy and friend.As an aside, for the second year in a row I have been asked to a fancy ball with less than a week’s notice. It’s a good thing I have that ball gown from last year! Firefighter friend asked me to be the date to his Christmas ball, so I have to find that dress in the back of my closet!
@copa @veritek I’m still talking to him. No decisions have been made. I think I might try to initiate a serious “where is this going” discussion when I see him on Saturday.
I talked to my best guy friend about it today and told him a lot of things this dude has said to me. My friend said to me, it seems like there’s a lot of uncertainty, so I should continue to hold back and let him pursue me. That when a man is in love with a woman, he’ll cross the ocean for her. But if he just wants a fling, he’ll give up quickly.
@copa also, I completely agree with the advice to continue seeing other people except, it’s hard enough to find even one guy I’m interested in, let alone multiple. Like Veritek, I’ve gotten ZERO dates out of Match even though I paid for it, Bumble is full of young guys, and Tinder is mostly dudes tryna hook up. My profile is still active though, so I’m open to meeting someone else 🙂
I am currently using Bumble for both casual and semi-dating interest. But it really sucks. When I do match with guys and message them they never respond! I switched my phone with a male friend of mine and we swiped through one anothers accounts, wow, there are so few women who actually use it! I could swipe for days, him just 30 seconds (no lie) and then ran out of profiles. So I can see the disadvantage and lack of interest from the male side.
I did manage to go on a couple dates with a guy from bumble. However I am not really sure where it is going. He is a horrible texter, takes over a day and a half to respond, which makes making plans difficult. He has apologized for being so bad in text; but if a 3rd date ever happens I will probably confront him and tell him his communication needs to improve if he wants me to stick around.
You know, I think you guys might be right about Bumble. I just realized that it was after I increased my minimum age for matches that I stopped getting matches. Bummer!
Anyone have any ideas on how to meet thirty-something guys these days?
lol @kicia I wish I knew too! I have gone on two dates lately with a 28 year old from Tinder and he’s great, but his schedule is just as wonky as mine so scheduling a 3rd date has been a hell of a challenge.
@missdre so I’m not the only one that notices that a lot of the 30 something guys sometimes look a lot older than what they say? I had a guy message me and his age said 36 and I would have sworn just looking at him that he was in his 50s. But maybe he was lying and really in his 50s. Who knows?I probably sound like a broken record, but in case someone hasn’t thought of it I always feel like I should suggest it! @Kicia, are there any Meetup groups in your area? I met my boyfriend through a hiking meetup group, plus I’ve made many great friends through it. There are some couples who met through my hiking group who have since gotten married. There are Meetup groups for all kinds of interests, from book clubs to sci-fi to biking to dog lovers, to really obscure things. It’s a good way to meet new people.
@stonegypsy I could use some poly advice! I’m maybe kind of who am I kidding totally back together with an ex who is doing exactly none of the things that drove me off last time (7years ago. Everyone’s grown up a ton) we’ve been friends for literally half our lives now and neither of us is looking for a primary in each other, and her current crush has no problem with me. However, I know her goal for the past couple of years has been babies, and she is aware I’m not up for being a coparent. How do I express the fact that I’m fine with going back to being platonic friends if she finds the right guy to do that with but he isn’t into poly? I mean, without sounding like I’m trying to back out now, which is all I hear when I say that out loud to myself. Or am I overthinking?
@veritek OMG yes they DO look so old!! It’s discouraging!! Like, really? This is what 36/37 year old dudes look like? This is what I have to look forward to? LoL. When my friend got back online after a long hiatus she said “I feel like I’m sorting through garbage” and I couldn’t stop laughing, because that’s exactly how it feels most of the time. Which is why this whole “date multiple dudes” thing doesn’t really work for me.
