I think women who date men get into a position where a lot of times they are given this very narrow age range that they can date. If you’re in your 20s or 30s, it’s very likely (but obviously not the case for everyone) that if you date someone your own age, you’re going to be looking for different things. As a 30-year-old, I’m told that I probably should look at older men because men in their early 30s still want to have fun and aren’t looking for something serious. But then women in their 40s who are interested in men their age and even older find that many men, especially those who are ready to settle down and start families for the first time, are looking for younger women. So, I agree that people of all genders should try not to be critical and understand that there’s more to the package than just looks. But I think that a lot of the complaints women have stem from the fact that depending on your age, there’s often a very small slice of men who want what you want with someone your age. So, while those men may have a variety of options and may have the opportunity to make selections based on appearance and youthfulness, women might not.

Of course, I feel like this is going to be a lightning rod, and I definitely am not grouping all men together or even all women. But there are some people in society who get to choose whether to date someone older, younger or the same age as them (which can affect things like interests and other commonalities), and there are people who don’t get much of a choice.

I agree with that.

Spending Saturday and Sunday with New Dude. Feeling a little unsure of him because ever since his big declaration about how much he likes me, he’s been unusually quiet. Still in touch just… not his usual silly, happy-go-lucky self.

I asked him if everything’s ok on his end, he said yeah he’s just been busy and feeling under the weather. And then he followed up confirming our plans for tomorrow.

As soon as a guy gets quiet and then tells me he’s just busy, I give him the side eye cuz that’s usually code for “just not that into you”. But, he asked me if we’re still on for tomorrow and confirmed time and place so… I’ll go and see if he’s back to his usual self.

@kare, I meant to say this earlier – I hope your cat feels better very soon and you have many more happy healthy years together. I’ve been thinking of you the past few days.

Well had my first ghosting experience. The guy I went on a couple dates with didn’t respond to my last text. We had been messaging periodically throughout the week, and his last text was suggesting that if I hadn’t been busy this Friday he was gonna have me go with him to his friends housewarming. I reaponded with a suggestion to get together the following week for ice skating. After two days of no response, which usually takes him a day to respond, I followed up asking if he was still interested in seeing me, otherwise I would take the hint. Well he didn’t respond to that one either. Really sucks because it seemed like he was interested and came out of the left field, especially with the suggestion of going to his friends party.

I’d also add WRT to the older men-hitting on much younger women dynamic, that the 50 year olds that hit on 30 year olds are blasting out to pretty much every young woman, so these guys probably represent a disproportionate number of contacts even as they represent probably a smaller number of young men.