DW Community Catch-up Thread
- This topic has 11,758 replies, 97 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Wendy that’s kind of exactly what I needed to hear, thank you! I think especially when you get into your 30s it gets harder to just take dating for what it is…a great experience that could lead to something more but no matter what will help you grow and continue to learn about yourself.
I’m going for an ice skating date tonight 🙂
I guess, yeah, I tried dating a guy who lived 8 hours away because he talked me into it… I realized he was seriously sketchy, but if I hadn’t given it a shot, I might have thought we had this amazing connection and wondered what might have been. We had some fun times, but neither of us would have moved.
Wendy I think that was really lovely advice for MissDre, thank you for sharing it.
@Kare how ya doing lately? Doing okay? Still keeping you in my thoughts.Also, I enjoy texting but I also try to remember other people don’t use it as much as I do. I will say a guy who texts constantly before we’ve met or after one date kinda freak me out a little, and I love texting. I think it’s a case by case basis.
@kmtthat I would love to hear more about this ice skating date!
Thank you so much for all the input, it is reassuring to know people feel so differently about this.
Personally I also get put off by excessive texting after one or two dates, or some cheesy messages. I guess so far I have always witnessed that if the guy is interested he would AT LEAST bother maintaining some basic level conversation/connection (like, drop a line once or twice at least to make some more concrete plans about the next date?) ..
But I’ll just chill and not over think this anymore and go with the flow, your responses really reassured me 🙂
About “the one who got away”, I had one of these. He was an exchange student at my university, but then went back overseas when the year was over. We saw each other a few times after that, but neither of us wanted to leave our respective countries, so we broke up.
For the decade or so after that, he was always the one who got away, in my mind. But when I met my husband, that whole idea just disappeared. I think in a lot of ways, “the one who got away” is just a sign that you’re unhappy with your current love life. You dream about them when you’re single, or you use them as an excuse to get out a current relationship. When you’re happy, they go away. So I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have a one who got away, because it makes a good barometer for any relationship you’re in. If you’re with someone and you’re still pining after someone else, obviously there’s a problem with the relationship you’re in. Once you’re happy, that dream of them will just go away, and then you’ll know for sure that you’re with someone good. 🙂
You”d be a complete and total to end things with a guy you like just because he is moving away in the coming months. (Sorry, Kate. But that is simply TERRIBLE advice.) I mean — Seriously? Who knows if you will even still WANT to be dating this guy in a couple of months… I say, enjoy the here and now so you can at least see where it goes. It never ceases to amaze me how so many people shoot themselves in the foot by needlessly looking so far ahead to the point where they wind up denying themselves the here and now. The present. Which — truly — is all we really have.
@Eve my style of dating tends to gravitate towards texting in between dates, even the first and second one. I have had encounters where the guys seem fine texting once or twice during the day and throughout the week early on. As long as plans to get together are solidified and planned, to me the texting is an extra indicator that they are interested. Unfortunately my most recent experience wasn’t the same. I met him on Bumble and he usually took a day or day and a half to respond to messages. Then we texted once we got the first date sorted out and it turned to texting every other day with his response time. After the second date and 3rd week of talking throughout the week he ghosted me. I was under the impression he was interested based on our consistent communication and his apparent interest in seeing me again. Alas it was not to be. So for me that was a curve ball as I am so used to reading guys through their interest by texting me and making plans, whereas in this case those indicators meant nothing and he actually had no interest in the 3rd date it seemed. So it really varies, do what is comfortable with you and gauge the guy and how he responds.
Thanks for sharing your experience @Cleopatra .. this really sucks when things seem to be going so well and then you get ghosted :\
I guess communication between dates at this early stage isn’t a real indicator of anything.
He did end up texting me last evening, we spoke briefly, then I asked him a question about something and he again stopped replying.
Based on everyone’s input here I’ll stop reading too much into the texting thing and see how date 2 goes and focus whether I actually like the guy or not. But I feel for me personally, lack of any communication between dates makes me feel slightly less excited about the date (and the guy) and a bit more guarded and doubting whether there’s much point seeing him again.
Good thing he texted last evening so I feel less so like this.
And that’s just how I feel about it, I’m not saying it’s right to feel like this (it probably isn’t) ..
Modern day instant communication makes dating much more confusing!
@veritek Ice skating date was really, really cute! There’s a huge outdoor ice skating ribbon and while it was seriously freezing it was fun to do something that he loves and see him all excited (he’s Canadian and has been playing hockey since he was 7). I can’t skate to save my life but he was very sweet and helpful and for someone who usually can’t stand a cheesy date, with the little snowflakes falling and kissing on the ice…pretty romantic.
Anyway it’s only been a few weeks so trying not to overthink it, but so far so good!
