DW Community Catch-up Thread
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He was pretty awesome, I’m an idiot.
I thought we were vibing pretty well. I texted him last night when I got home saying I had a nice time and thanked him for the drink, like posters suggested before. I haven’t heard from him. Sooo, yeah, totally accepting this is minor karmic retribution. I can’t help but think I should have waited until today to text him but whatever. I know he’s busy today finishing up a paper. I also haven’t gotten a read receipt which he uses. But I am pretty sure people don’t read texts if they can get the gist of it from the preview ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Just gonna avoid checking my phone and live my life! Baking with rhubarb today.
I consider myself officially ghosted. I sent a casual check-in text over the weekend and it was met with complete silence. I’ve been replaying our dates in my head wondering how my radar was so off and where I went wrong — I really thought the interest was mutual after our last date. So I feel quite stupid, and for now I am unfortunately blaming myself, but I suppose there’s not much I can do.
Anyone have any happier updates?
I’m sorry @Copa. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to do a post-mortem.
I have a date on Saturday! It’s with a guy I actually went out with the last time around I was dating. It didn’t go anywhere because he lived an hour away, but now he lives in town, so we will see how it goes.
Tangent – when do people sleep with their dates? If things go well this weekend, I’m not opposed to first/second date sex. I don’t think this guy will ghost me because of that, but my investment is low, so I won’t really care if he does. But I’m curious how other people view/deal with the topic.
I say wait until it feels right to you – – – If thats the first date, fifth date, whatever – – it’s your decision. I personally (after one experience) decided that i’m not going to do first date sex any longer – it was more headache then it was worth. Make them wait a little 😉 🙂
@Copa, my guess is if he went on 3 or 4 dates with you, he liked you and found you attractive. I highly doubt you did anything “wrong” like you’re thinking. My guess would be an ex came back in the picture or he wanted to give things a shot with someone else but not actually tell you that (which, annoying, but I can’t really blame someone if they do that). Or, maybe he was really hoping to get laid and gave up when it took more than 2 dates, in which case too bad.
I mean MAYBE you said something that’s like completely anathema to his core values, but whatever.
I’m sorry Copa, I know it seemed like you really liked him. But if there’s no response then he’s clearly not your person. Which sucks, but frees you up to find someone else!
The guy I went out with twice week before last was out of state until yesterday and started texting with me again. I think I’ll do a third date to see how I feel. The only happy update I have is that I finally replaced the Ray Bans I had stolen in the Cancun airport last April. I’d held onto those for 6 years before they were stolen so I was kinda embarrassingly sad when they were stolen. Anywho, I saved up the cash and replaced them and I sat in the sun and just enjoyed wearing them yesterday like a dork.
@Aya – It varies. I personally wait until I’m comfortable, but the timeframe for finding that comfort zone varies from person to person.
I did really like him. It felt easy, and we had a lot in common. I guess it’s the complete radio silence that drives me insane. (Being ignored like this has only ever happened to me once before. I run into that guy around the city maybe once a month, and it’s awkward.) He doesn’t need to tell me why he doesn’t want to continue seeing me. Just a straightforward “I’m sorry, I don’t see this going anywhere. Good luck.” message is all it takes. I think it’s quite easy to let someone down in a kind but straightforward manner, and since we went on four dates, it doesn’t need to be a face-to-face sit-down break-up talk. If you’re old enough to date, you’re old enough to tell someone you’re not interested. It annoys me that men in their late 30s can’t manage this.
@veritek33 Is this the same guy from last summer? Or someone else? Glad you replaced your sunnies! 😀I went on a date last night with a super nice guy. We had a great time, good chat but he has awful teeth. Think “big book of British smiles” bad. And I know how shallow it sounds but as much as I like him I don’t want to kiss him 🙁
@amokamokamok If that’s shallow then I’m shallow too. I went on a date about four years ago with a very nice guy, but his mouth was awful. Like bleeding gums and awful breath – neglect of dental hygiene. Crooked teeth are cool, but I think drawing the line at basic hygiene is okay.
@copa – It was the guy from last summer. I also had a guy I went on two dates with a year ago reach out. I think some people are just going through their phone and seeing who answers….
@AmokAmokAmok If you’re talking crooked teeth vs. actual bad hygeine, then yeah, it’s a little shallow, but I think we all have our shallow dealbreakers. Some of my friends won’t give the time of day to a guy with bad hair (bald or balding, premature white or grey, etc.). I don’t think it’s much different, and I think we all have ’em. I wouldn’t date anyone who is more than a little overweight. It’s shallow, but…
@veritek33 I am always taken aback when someone reaches out to me months after we go out. It’s like, what do you even want from me!? That said, I could use the ego boost of someone reaching out to me months after-the-fact right about now. Haha. Sorta related, but the last guy to reach out to me after we’d not communicated in awhile, I wound up giving him a second chance. We dated for a couple months. It didn’t work out and we stopped seeing each other last July. He showed up on my Tinder yesterday, and OMG he looks like he’s aged so much in a year! He’s 1-2 years younger than me and was starting to go grey at the temples this time last year, but in the past year he’s grown a full-on beard and it has a LOT of white in it and it’s aging him tremendously.
Happy May 1st! Here it’s labor day, but also lover’s day. It’s a tradition to go to a particular park and kiss your lover under a blooming cherry tree. Most people have the day off, but Banjo and I didn’t. But we still managed to sneak out and have a cute little picnic at the park and kiss under the tree. It’s a cute little tradition. We also got some delicious gelato before heading back to work. Not a bad little interlude to my day!
