DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Yeah, obviously after six months dating you don’t know a person well. They were friends for three years before that though.
The thing is, you can date a person for three, four, five years and still don’t know them well. “Don’t marry a person you don’t know well” doesn’t sound very helpful, I think the only thing one can do is to hope for the best and work for it.
Yeah, @Ale, I agree. Obviously you can make an active effort to work on your relationship, but I do think there’s a limit to how much control people have over the outcome of their relationships. I think the best you can do is find someone who seems like a good fit — weed out the people who are obviously incompatible — and then hope for the best while doing what you can to keep things working. Like the friend I mentioned in my last comment? She and her husband have significant incompatibilities that make me question why they got married in the first place. (They can’t agree on where to live, he’s super family-oriented and she hates his family, they have very different values, etc.) They’re a good example of people who should have weeded one another out through dating.
So, just found out that my ex was cheating on me… With a woman from the same gym that he always claimed had nothing to do with him.
FFS. So sorry you had to hear that after everything. Another pin in the doll so to say! Who told you?
Owwww, Ale — I’m so sorry! You had gone so many miles above and beyond already, and gave so much to this ex-relationship. I hope things turn around for you and you can leave this guy in the dust!
Fuck this guy. Bullet dodged. You’re moving on to bigger and better things. Soon you’ll forget all about him.
Oh Ale, I’m sorry. I found out something similar after a break up and it just fucking sucks/hurts. Fuck that guy. You’re so much better off.
Oh, @ale. I’m so sorry. WEES. We’re all #TeamAle! I’ve been cheated on multiple times and know how much it hurts, and how much it can mess with you. How did you find out? I ask because if you’re seeking this kind of information out, stop! If someone told you, ask them not to talk about your ex to you, period.
“This cousin of hers met a guy, dated six months, got married and had a baby within their first year of marriage. Looked perfect everywhere. Baby is two months old and she just found out he is addicted to cocaine and heroine.”
I’m sorry, but without the full story- that she knew him for years, how was I to know that?
It seems pretty logical not to marry someone you barely know. I’m sorry if my comment offended.@anonymousse I wasn’t offended.
Anyways, well people at the gym told me my exbf was seeing this girl a few times a week to train and that they were seen on saturday at a movie theater and people were pretty sure they were affectionate. I couldn’t believe it and I obviously overreacted and sent him a text saying that I needed to talk to him and posted it here. He shows up at my house half an hour later, I ask him about it and denies it, he says they have never been out together but that they trained a couple of times, however, not as a planned thing but more like they were there at the same time and decided to train together. I am insecure like that. I had already noticed she liked him so I told him when we were together. He said he didn’t care. But eventually they became friends. He totally denied the movie thing and that he was seeing her which made me feel like a fool, and also, messed up my whole “moving on” plan because we ended up talking for a couple of hours and it felt so normal. I was an idiot for believing this and then believing him instead of just avoiding the whole drama altogether from the first time. I’ve followed every advice that people give me, that I have to avoid him (which I have), change my routine (I also did that) and stop talking to him, also telling people to stop telling me about him. But I couldn’t avoid it yesterday, I allowed it when people started talking and I just fell into the trap. I talked to my therapist today and he said that we all make mistakes in a process like this. To move on from the whole drama and just try to be calm. I am waaaaay too anxious now.
