DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I would show up at some place where he is at with friends, not alone though. But that’s because I’m not seeing it as a date. I told him I wanted to make friends and he was ok with that. Maybe he says it’s ok because he is expecting more.
Any type of date makes me anxious. Even seeing people I already know, but maybe haven’t seen in a while or haven’t seen in a social environment. I grabbed coffee yesterday with a long time friend from work, I had never seen him outside of work and that made me anxious. Like what if I hate the way he behaves out? I don’t know, as you can see I am an overthinker. And I know it’s something I need to get over.I don’t know about using Tinder for friendships. I feel like, guys aren’t on there for platonic friendships, and they’re not going to take you seriously when you say that’s what you want. Confusion would ensue. Why not use meetup or interest groups to make friends and dating apps when you’re ready to grab a drink and see if there might be a fit to date?
My first date with my current bf my hands were literally shaking so hard it was hard to eat without looking ridiculous. I also could barely make any eye contact (I get really shy). I’m still surprised he never even noticed –I think it helps to know as nervous as you are, people are often tied up in their own nerves. I still get nervous meeting up with him on occasion because I am just a nervous kind of person. But I’m a fan off facing your fears safely so I agree with just diving in. Mostly the worst that happened was I was bored/didn’t feel anything, and the extremely few really terrible made great hilarious stories.
Everyone has their comfort level though — maybe you’d do better meeting folks through meetup groups, your new gym, book club etc.?
Coffee meetup ended up being a coffee-dinner meetup and it was nice and now I see your point ????
I actually saw Tinder profiles that said “just friends” and that’s why I put that.
Sadly, there are no meetup groups here.Maybe where you are they’re using Tinder a little differently than here. I could see there being a cultural nuance.
Yes, I do think it can be used for anything. Or ar least Ive seen people who want to hook Up, or looking for friends or serious relationships.
I’m not meeting women actually ????
I dont know if we have Bumble here, Ill look it up.
@kmentthat you get me. I’m like that. Sometimes I face my fears without a doubt (like with the new gym) sometimes I dont@Kate, my recent health problems are connected to and exacerbate my pre-existing depression and anxiety. When I’m as severely depressed as I was, I will compare myself to people on social media basically to confirm the negative feelings I have about myself, I guess. I’m feeling much better now and am back on FB and IG. I just haven’t really looked at them or posted in a while. I do still use snapchat a lot, though. It’s probably the least curated and the most mundane, which is why I prefer it.
@ale I was shy to the extreme for a very, very long time and I’m a socially anxious person and get nervous for weird stuff, so I understand where you’re coming from. That said, I became significantly more comfortable with social situations that once freaked me out when I forced myself to do them more often, including dates. Just practicing being outside of my comfort zone helped me become more confident in situations that are anxiety-inducing. (Hell, even my therapist once told me I’m very charming and I say the craziest stuff aloud to her!)
