DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Oh he definitely saved me the time of figuring out he was an ass so he saved me a lot of time! Yet another reason to delete the apps after my paid week ends!
I mean, his absolute best case scenario is that he’s new to online dating and hasn’t figure out how it works yet. I told a friend, I dunno, sometime in the past year, about getting ghosted again. She’s married, never had to join the fun world of online dating and never really dated casually. She told me I needed to start demanding explanations from men who have ghosted me. As much as I hate when it DOES happen to me, and as much as I’ve sometimes WANTED to go this route, it’d be pretty weird if I did, especially if it’s a guy I met online where norms and stakes are a bit different. Basically, the only way I can see this guy being somewhere within the realm of reason expecting an immediate message is if he’s never online dated before.
Thanks for the well wishes on the race! I am looking forward to it 🙂 I will update next weekend when I can.
@Veritek he was so ridiculous I actually find it funny. Can you believe a 40 year old behaving like that? You dodged a bullet, or more like you dodged a cannonball.
Good luck on your half marathon, @cleo!!
Just gotta chime in saying no it is not rude to message first within the 24 hour period. I often do the same thing, like you mentioned, veritek, getting ready for bed, swiping a bit, but not feeling like starting a message that night. Gimme a break!
My first thought was, well, why didn’t HE message YOU? But then I realized, is bumble the site where girls have to message first?
Anyway, that is absolutely ridiculous and good thing he made it easy for you to not waste any time on him!Yeah, with Bumble women message first. And you have a time limit! If you don’t message a guy within 24 hours of matching, the match will expire. And on top of that, he only has 24 hours to respond. If he doesn’t, the match expires. I think they did that to encourage communication – unlike Tinder where everybody gets 100 matches and nobody ever talks.
I don’t “get” Bumble. I know it’s billed as an app to give women more control or whatever, and I’ve heard people say that it prevents the creepers, but I’ve never understood how that works. Just because I have to say hello first doesn’t mean that the guy can’t be a weirdo once I’ve opened up the channels of communication.
I thought I may have scared my Match guy away (I took forever to respond to him because I was on vacation), but I heard back from his last night and we exchanged numbers and are both up for meeting soon. I think it won’t be for a couple more weeks, though, since he’s out of town this weekend and into next week and I have a work trip/conferences at the tail end of next week and into the following week. SO. We’ll see.
Unrelated, but I am SO glad it’s Friday. I’ve been out of town the past few weekends and my life is a mess. I have so many chores and errands to get caught up on. I can’t even remember the last time I did my laundry.
@Copa I’ve actually found the quality of guys on bumble to be WAY better (although smaller sample size since it’s a newer app). On Tinder I found all kinds of trashy dudes but on bumble, it seems to be an older crowd, upper middle class, educated, jobs like engineer, doctor, etc. Or it could be that bumble just throws in a bunch of fake profiles (I’ve heard of that happening).
Now, all that doesn’t mean the relationship will automatically be better – but when you’re a university educated woman in your 30s with a great career, you don’t really want to date unemployed dudes who still live at home with their parents. Tinder is FULL of those lol.
MissDre, do you talk to those guys? Because I hear the same thing about Bumble being full of fake Ivy League type profiles.
@Kate I have talked to several guys on Bumble but even so, I met my bf (who has a phd) on Tinder. So Tinder isn’t all idiots who live with their parents.
The other thing I liked about Bumble and having to message first was that it just gives you space and time to really decide whether you even WANT to talk to a person. On Tinder, sometimes you swipe just to see if you’ll match. And then once you do, the guy is bombarding you with texts and requests to meet. With Bumble, after you match you can take a moment look at his profile again, stalk him online a bit if you feel like it, and then make the decision to reach out.
Where I live, I see the biggest concentration of duds on Match (which I sadly paid for several months of up-front recently after a conversation with my therapist about how maybe I should be on a site with longer-form messages again). I have a higher degree and a good job, and I do want to meet someone who is also educated and steadily employed (don’t really care WHAT he’s doing as long as he’s doing something). On Tinder, I see a lot of young professionals. But the median age of my neighborhood is like 32 and am surrounded by other young neighborhoods and set my geographic search within like 3 miles. There are still duds on Tinder, but I don’t find myself swiping through mostly duds at all. I meet a lot of consultants and finance guys. Bumble I don’t use as often because I don’t see how it’s different enough from Tinder to warrant using both, and when I send the first message, I don’t have a high response rate.
