DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@veritek33 I was curious what had become of that guy! Sucks that he’s being flakey again, but in my experience of giving guys second chances, history repeats itself. I’ve met some nice people and made new friends through Meetup, and I’m even a co-organizer of a group. You can totally commandeer groups for one-off events you feel like hosting (I’ve done this!), or you could find others to co-organize with you. I like having a say in the activities and the days/times, so I can meet people on my own schedule and doing things I wanted to try anyway.
My date last night was pretty meh. We had little in common, no real chemistry. I’m pretty sure neither of us will bother to contact the other again. It made me a little sad when I got home, because it made me feel positive tonight’s first date will be just as meh. I was tossing and turning last night thinking about spending the rest of my life alone, going on meh first dates or having short-lived relationships that get my hopes up, and generally remaining, well, lonely. :-/ But, onto the next I suppose! After tonight’s guy, I need an online dating break.
On a semi-related note, I’m meeting a dog for potential adoption this weekend (assuming I can get away from a work thing I have going on at the time of his meet and greet). I’m ready to join the group of my single friends who get a furry companion in the absence of a human companion.
“since I’m now pretty adamant about making sure the first meeting can be quick”
That is pretty good advice, I told that to a friend of mine yesterday and he found it very useful.I was tossing and turning last night thinking about spending the rest of my life alone, going on meh first dates or having short-lived relationships that get my hopes up, and generally remaining, well, lonely. :-/ But, onto the next I suppose!
I feel the same way and I have been single for only two months. I visited my sister last Sunday and we went to buy plants for her house and seeing her with her husband making decisions about decorating made me think that I’ll never have that, I though I was close but the it ended. And I got sad.
But then again, there are some serious perks about being single that I had forgotten about that made me feel happier. For instance, yesterday I went out with some coworkers and one of them is really into me. It kind of made me feel happy to think that if I had wanted to sleep with him yesterday I could have. I didn’t though, because I learned my lesson and I won’t date or sleep with a coworker never again. But just the thought of having all of these possibilities open up made me feel better.I haven’t learned to use the quote feature haha.
@Copa, I think getting a dog is great! And it also opens up some possibilites, like dog parks. I met my first longtime BF while walking my dog. Just remember when you’re down, being single is awesome and it comes with a lot of benefits.
Yeah, that’s the thing. I actually don’t hate being single most of the time, at all. It’s the seemingly never-ending disappointment of the online dating world that gets me down. It’s like a never-ending cycle of first dates (or first few dates), and then you have to start all over again.
I’ve wanted a dog forever, but have gotten more serious about it lately. I’ve realized it’ll never be a convenient time to get one, so why push it off? I applied for another dog a few weeks ago, but the shelter got an overwhelming number of applications for him. Trying my luck again with a different dog (obviously) and shelter. I guess they’ve also gotten quite a few apps for this dog, so we’ll see which applicant they pick!
@Copa oooh new fur baby! A friend of mine seems to have a few kittens for sale/give away. I was very tempted, but with my allergies and being in a home already with two dogs (not mine). Not sure it would be wise at thw moment. But damn…I am sure there will be more kittens in the future!
I ended things with the guy I was seeinf last night. Coming up to 3 months. Definitely trust your gut when it comes to first, second or third dates, or in my case 2.5 months down the line.
I have a first date planned with a guy Thursday. So far chatting has been good. Light and easy. Unfortunately there has been a week between organizing the date and the day itself due to my schedule. So we have chatted about little things here and there. But I still feel there will be plenty to talk about on the date. He is an interesting guy and seems like we have a lot in common interest, personality and morals wise. So hoping for the best!
@Cleopatra_30 Sorry to hear your relationship ended! Hoping you’re bouncing back fairly quickly (though from the sound of it, you seem to be doing just fine!). And yeah, it turns out adopting a younger (not puppy), cute dog with few behavioral issues is competitive, so I’m thinking it might take a few more months for something to work out.
@Copa, that’s exactly why I like being an organizer. I’m one for my hiking group and I love that I can post things I want to do, and people will come! Many of the other organizers are stronger/faster hikers than me, and sometimes I just want to do something easy. For example, there’s a 3 mile walk by the river on a mostly flat trail that I’ve posted a few times and it seems to be popular, people keep signing up. Also, social events get posted in the group as well, so once my boyfriend and I posted a wing night at a local bar and people came to that.
@Copa – I hope you get a new pup! Clearly I have too many, so other people need to adopt them so I dont 😉
@Copa and @Ale – I have those same thoughts sometimes. I was the photographer for a wedding this weekend and I kept having those creeping thoughts of “Will I ever get to do this? Will I have a man look at me the way this groom looks at his bride?” It’s a tough feeling. My therapist told me that basically I just have to be positive or I’ll be a self fulfilling prophecy. Like, I HAVE TO BELEIVE (she’s very perky and upbeat). But I’ve also had people tell me I HAVE TO BE OKAY will being single forever
Some days are great being single! I decorate my house how i want, spend my money how I want, I still get to meet interesting people and go on dates. Last night I had three girlfriends over for wine and time in the pool and it was great! On a Monday! If I was married with kids that might not be a thing I was able to do. So I do try to embrace the fun parts of being single. But hey, no shame here, it get’s lonely as hell. It’s hard not to be lonely when I see things like you mentioned Ale. My bff had her daughters birthday party and just seeing her little family and how they interact stings a little – but I’m still incredibly happy for her. It’s a weird feeling.
@Cleo – sorry to hear this, I hope your date goes well.
Yeah, I feel the same, it’s weird. Like I’m happy my sister found someone so good for her, but then again she married at 25, something I would have never done. So, it’s weird.
@Copa, some advice though. Try to do something before your date aimed to change your mood, maybe. Try not to go to this date that you are so hopeful about, feeling meh.I remember before I started dating my ex I had been single for three years. I was so happy single that whoever came to my life had to be really amazing and I made my ex wait a long time so I knew it was serious. I didn’t want to let go of my singlehood. And now I’m trying to remember those days, what I did, why I was so happy. I have a lot of thoughts in my mind, some days it makes me happy to get home and not have to cook dinner for someone and some days that’s what makes me sad.
@Ale I actually prefer going in feeling meh because it means I’m more likely to be pleasantly surprised! I’ve historically come home disappointed from dates that I was excited about. He sent me a nice text this afternoon about how he’s excited to meet me, and that made me go from negative to neutral.
@veritek I think your therapist has a point! But so do those other people. I think it’s about balancing being happy in with yourself and your own life, but still remaining open and positive about the possibilities. A good friend of mine is turning 30 next month, and she’s single, too. She knows she wants kids and has a medical condition that makes pregnancy unlikely. She recently told me that she’s getting her finances in order and planning to start the adoption process within the next couple of years because she wants a kid by 35. I admire her approach to life. She and her last serious boyfriend broke up almost four years ago, and she’s been in the same boat a lot of us are in since. I know she wants to meet someone, but won’t put what she wants out of her life on hold for it. And good for her!
