DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@Veritek, just tell your mom you’re more interested in sexytimes with new guy than in seeing her. I’m sure she’ll understand (joke).
Oh my partner is from Columbia! It sounds like a cool town from everything that I’ve heard. I really want to go with him next time he visits.
Also yaaaay on the awesome first date! That sounds really great, I’m so happy for you @Veritek!
@kare, those shoes are AWESOME! I’m glad you had an occassion to wear them again.
@veritek, congrats! Laughing until it hurts has got to be the best kind of pain.
I agree that 6-7 months is enough time to be over a significant ex. My new guy is divorced (since last September I think), and my last serious relationship ended around the same time.
My road trip to Louisiana was kind of the perfect weekend. I enjoyed the car ride as much as the touristy stuff we did while we were there. It was an expensive trip, and I’m really happy that we can have so much fun traveling together. That was always something missing from my past relationships.
@captainswife as badly as she wants grandkids I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t mind! lol
@stonegypsy if you come to columbia you should let me know and I’ll come meet you!
@loo definitely 🙂 My cheeks hurt from smiling too
As everyone else said, I agree that 6-7 months is long enough to move on. My boyfriend had been split up for around 6 months when we started dating, but their relationship had been over for awhile, it just wasn’t “official”. I was a bit concerned at first, but he was clearly over her and it didn’t end up being an issue.
How exciting veritek!!!! @hfantods, what area do you live in? b/c near me there are a few hikes to waterfalls 🙂
I had my second date, it was very casual, we spoke for ages and had a nice time.
There is nothing that seems particularly “off” with him (okay, there is some, I just don’t want to nitpick, nothing major) but I am simply not feeling it. I mean, I am not that attracted to him, I see him as a great friend, but I don’t see him in any romantic/intimate way.
I feel horrible, I finally meet a genuinely nice guy and I am not feeling like dating him – what’s wrong with me anyway? I am sabotaging my love life! I didn’t feel like kissing him but he didn’t do anything romantic either, he is acting super friendly but quite reserved and shy – perhaps never had a girlfriend ?! (again, we’re quite young!)
But he kept going on about when he’ll want to see me next, so there is some interest.. Is there any point carrying on? I might still be seeing him at work I am not sure how to go about this..
weeelll, if you don’t feel it, I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it @Eve – there are plenty of people who will come into your life that you will want to feel 😉 conversely, I also think that sometimes things take time to grow, and if you enjoy his company, you can just see how it goes for a couple more dates – unless of course the idea is really unappealing to you.
Eve- Hm, well, if you don’t feel like dating him, then don’t. I totally understand the feeling- there’s nothing *wrong* with him, but there’s something missing, or you’re just not drawn to him. (I feel like that’s chemistry.) I’ve been in the same position, and it sucks when you can’t quite figure out why you’re not into it. That’s usually a sign to me that it isn’t going to go anywhere and I’d better not waste his/my time. It happens a lot!
Good to know that people know exactly what it feels like 🙂
I don’t mind going on “dates” with him because I enjoy his company, what is worrying me is that I will feel like I am leading him on, or that if he tries to kiss me I might not feel it and pull back and make it super awkward between us.
I also think it’s good to allow things to naturally grow between two people, but with going on dates I’m not sure how much of an option you have to do that without leading the other person on. That’s why I mentioned earlier that I like how so far I had only been in relationships with guys I was already friends with for a while and spent a good amount of time with them – I already knew how it felt and things developed so naturally.
@Eve I’ve gone on dates with lots of people who were great but that I just wasn’t that attracted to. There’s nothing *wrong* with you just because you don’t feel chemistry. I think it’d be weirder if you did feel chemistry with every single genuinely nice person you met.
It’s nothing wrong with you, it’s nothing wrong with him, it just is what it is. Tell him that you think he’s great but that you’re just not feeling it as a romantic connection, and then move on.
yeah, the thing about leading people on? unless you’re being super super flirty and seductive, my take is that the other person is a big boy and can take care of himself if he is (kindly) rejected. You can’t protect everyone from a ‘no’ and going on a few dates is still a ‘getting to know you time’ – not everyone will make up their mind so quickly.
@veracityb you are very, very right there – I am always so scared of leading on/hurting/misleading people (massive people pleasing issues here…) that I probably miss out on some fun opportunities just to make sure I don’t do that. And I probably come across as quite guarded because of this.
@Stonegypsy thanks, it’s again good to know you’ve also felt this way. Oh well, hopefully there are other nice guys out there who’re looking for relationships instead of hook ups (they probably won’t be my age though)
