DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Oh, and on selfies: I kinda judge guys who have too many selfies. :-/ But, most selfies I see are, like, obnoxious gym selfies. It’s like, we get it, you work out. On the opposite end of the spectrum that also annoys me: Guys who have nothing but photos of themselves doing eXtreme things (skydiving! scuba diving! swimming with sharks!). I guess I just like to see a variety.
Also, I have a friend who texts me literally every single time he sees me on a dating app, and I want to punch him in the face.
Ummmmm I can’t recall having that issue… but maybe that’s because on bumble the photo format is full screen and all my phone pics are already full screen.
Men can sometimes be really bad about pictures being old. I went on a date once with a guy that must have used way old pictures because when he showed up he was clearly 50-75 pounds heavier in person – which is not a huge deal but he wasn’t honest with his pictures and it was just a little disappointing.
So for someone who was recently braying about needing a dating app break, I’ve gone the opposite route. It’s been at least a year since I was on Bumble, but I revisited it because of the discussion on here today and swiped a bit. I matched with 17 dudes, and tonight decided to send a message to each and every one as an experiment. ???? Because I’m curious: how many will respond (two so far), how many will unmatch me, and how many will automatically be unmatched for failure to respond within 24 hours? And of these 17, how many will become a first date *that I’m not dreading*? With the volume of matches on the apps I feel like I have conversations with everyone and their brother, and most fizzle out because I can’t keep up. I predict 17 matches will lead to one date.
I once hooked up with a guy who I met through Tinder who ended up being about 50 lbs heavier in person. All his pictures though were of him when he was lighter! He told me via text that he was heavier, but it was ‘mostly muscle.’ Nope, he was significantly heavier and it was mostly fat. Then I saw him on OkCupid when I started my dating sting this year, still using the thinner pictures. Makes me angry that someone can be so deceptive. I get you aren’t what you use to be, but don’t trick people by using old photos. Such a turn off…
Not sure if this belongs here but I need to get it off my chest for sure.
Last week I had 3 events.
1- Saw an ex downtown where I live through glass windows. No biggie, he’s married and has a kid on the way I hear. So I’m happy for him.
2- Old FWB who I have not been talking to in seven months messaged me about a concert for an artist we both like and told me he was going.
3- Ran into an ex who ghosted me last year about April after being hot and heavy with me. I wouldn’t sleep with him super quick and I think he just wanted me for sex. He didn’t even look at me.All were within days of each other. It’s funny how although I’m in a happy, healthy, relationship it threw me for a loop. I’ve been lucky to never really “run into” anyone like I did with #3.
Dating apps I hated so much. I used them. I found an old screen shot where I was a total smart ass to a dude. It was good humor and he was joking right back. I just remember a guy who didn’t understand “hey my job is busy from 7:30-4:30 so you won’t hear much from me, I also have crap reception on my phone” and he went bonkers on me in one day. I cut him loose and then he acted like “WHHHHHYYYY?” And he’s one I told directly what got him a “good luck” and it just made him more mad. People.
There’s a series on Netflix called Hot Girls Wanted. There’s one about a dude in Vegas on Tinder. I recommend you check it out. It’s so crazy!
@TheHizzy I write about dogs on here, so your update is fair game. 😉 I’m not sure where you live, but the financial district of my city can feel SUPER small even though I live in a very large city. I run into people that I know on a regular basis. It’s usually old co-workers, but it includes people I’ve dated. I run into the first guy to straight up ghost me every once in awhile — our offices are just a couple blocks apart — and it’s uncomfortable every time. We also live in the same area, so I’ve seen him at a local Starbucks before. I feel embarrassed when we have run-ins, so I avoid eye contact and don’t say hello.
@Copa I’ve been spoiled so far and only ran into one ex randomly when he moved to my part of town. I live in a large city but in the burbs. All the guys I dated were in the younger part of town. Since I lived and at that time worked in the burbs chances were low. Never ran into someone who went ghost until last week. He was all awkward about it, as I’m sure I was. Part of me wanted to be like “Hey, yeah so I’m in a great relationship, have a new job, own a house and life is good.” But…does no good. Better off just living my life. Now that’s off my chest….I hope to not see him often.
My friend once went out with a girl he met online and she was missing most of one of her arms – I forget if she was born that way or had to have it amputated. But in her profile photos, there was no indication of that at all. It must be super hard for people with disabilities – are they supposed to parade it upfront or wait to be found out in person?
If I had a disability like that, I’d put it out there from the get-go. It’d a waste of everyone’s time, including my own, to go out on dates with people who wouldn’t be okay with it.
One of my friends/former roommates went out on a first date with a guy years ago with the same disability (disabled/missing arm) that was not apparent in photos on the dating site they met on. She was surprised on their date and honestly distracted her from getting to know the guy (versus knowing upfront). Yeah, maybe a fair amount of people would opt out if they knew up front, but I’d think you’d rather vet for that, right? To be fair, his username on the site was something like onearmedpirate, good on him for a great sense of humor!
I agree, I think I’d put it out there upfront, but I could also see why someone wouldn’t. I’d rather be upfront online, than for someone to be distracted by it on a date.
