@Eve – perhaps I don’t take quite the same approach dating people as is regularly expected – it always takes me a while to get into someone (also a habitual friend-merging-into-something-more kind of person) so I don’t stress the lack of immediate chemistry thing – for me it’s a boon when it’s not an immediate no ^^. I’ve always approached dating as wanting to get to know who that person is in a somewhat platonic fashion before I even get to the question of whether I want to get relationshippy with them. And I have no qualms killing the expectations, generally speaking, if I’m not feeling whatever they’re suggesting – though more often than not, I am led by my curiosity. Guys don’t tend to be sensitive souls, but if they are, and you say no, consider that you’re doing them a favour and toughening them up a little bit to rejection. After all, we all have to get used it in life, if you don’t say, I’m pretty sure someone else will one day down the line..

veracityb – oh the shock of someone feeling similar to me regarding the whole getting to know thing. A guy from work asked me out the second day he joined us at the office I work in. I said no because I didn’t want to complicate things with co-workers and also I barely knew the guy – he seemed okay, but I wanted to get to know him, seeing that we’ll be sharing the same office space (it’s a small office). After the 5th time he asked me out (in 3 days), I said that I am not interested because of the reasons I gave above and he became very pissy about it, he still doesn’t really talk to me in the office and when he does he is grouchy as Hell. As if it is too much to ask to get to know someone on a platonic level before going out with them. People here think I am too conservative, but that’s the way I am feeling it.

And that’s a good way to think about rejecting someone, I’ll think of it this way. Doing him a favour – in some weird way. Tough love.

Thanks for all your perspective regarding time of break up. Really appreciate your insight/experience. Glad to know it’s not a big deal (depending on the person). I think it caught me a little off guard that he brought it up, but it was kind of in passing, rather than a “let me tell you about my crazy ex’s”.

@K, I’m in southwest Ontario; anywhere close to you? 🙂

@Eve, I kind of feel the same way about this Tinder Finance Guy after our second date too. I don’t have great advice, but also chiming in that you’re not alone, and it helps to read everyone else’s advice. I flip flop between whether I find him attractive or not, but I’m curious to spend some more time with him except I also don’t want to lead him on. If you are certain though at you are’t attracted to him, then yeah, rejecting him now will save your time too.

Also, that guy at your work is a jerk. Ya think after the second time he asked you out (heck, even the first) he’d know better.

@hfantods, I probably break all the dating guidelines, but I always like to know how or why a guy’s previous relationships ended. I agree that it’s not good first date conversation, but I don’t shy away from asking all the nosey questions on the second and third date. When I talk to my girl friends about my dates, they are routinely shocked at the things I ask guys early on (an example is asking how much he earns). I just want to know what I want to know *shrugs*. I’m glad I haven’t scared my current guy off yet. 🙂

Veritek – I’m just now I my way home from spending an entire weekend in Quincy. I’m from there and was attending my nieces’s birthday. I so want to ask this dude’s last name, if he’s actually from there too. It’s a small town. Too funny.

Also, I just discovered the cutest boutique. I think it’s fairly new.

By the way, I was in town Friday as well….

We are not. I’m only friends with a few of the DWers I’ve met in person. You can find me through AP though.

My parents live about 5 blocks from the Abbey. We actually almost had dinner at Tiramisu on Friday, but went this place called Talyana’s instead. This is great.