Well I got back today from a 6 day backpacking trip and found out the guy I had gone out with a couple times before I left sent me a text whilst I was out of cell reception telling me he wasn’t interested anymore, as he wasn’t feeling like “this” would result in the relationship he is looking for right now. Whatever that means. I hadn’t received the text, even after I got back to cell reception. So I texted him today when I got back in town, and when he finally told me I felt super awkward and embarrassed. I really liked him, I felt we had a ton in common and was looking forward to seeing him when I got back, and we both expressed interest in seeing one another when I was back in town. FFS. Dating this year has just sucked. It is so much harder too when I am looking for someone who doesn’t want kids. I have a good social life to fall back on, but it is just so damn defeating when after 6 months nothing genuine comes up. I blame the city. Calgary sucks for dating. blek.

@Cleopatra_30 I had a really hard time finding someone who didn’t want kids. He had a hard time finding someone who was willing to take on his (adult-ish) kids A friend set us up. Do you have any friends who know someone? I feel like that was the best way I met someone. I did Tinder, POF, Bumble and all that crap.

I consider myself on the fence about kids, even though I don’t really like ’em and don’t feel the same longing for them that some of my friends seem to feel. I meet a lot of men who DO want kids. I’ve been asked on early-on dates if I want kids, and I’m honest, but it’s always been men who seem to reallyreallyreally want kids. My preference would be to find someone who is also on the fence so that if things work out between us we could have an actual discussion about it.

@Copa I’m the same as you. I’m on the fence, and pretty much every guy I’ve gone out with has definitely wanted kids.

@MissDre I don’t think it’s stupid, because it’s sort of along the same lines as how I feel. I don’t like kids in general, but I *do* like the idea of having my own family and part of me still thinks that if I met the right person, I’d want a kid with them specifically. A former friend of mine is a good example of someone on the other side of the spectrum: she seems downright desperate to have kids, and from what I’ve seen will literally date anyone willing to date her even when there are fundamental compatibility and personality issues at play. She got pregnant by an ex maybe 3-4 years ago and had an abortion, but once told me like 1-2 years ago that she wished she’d kept it so that she could have a baby already, AND so that her ex wouldn’t have dumped her. I think you’re underestimating just how desperate some people are to force things to work, because they genuinely want (or at least think they want) what society tells us we should be aiming for.

ETA: Having kids is such a big decision that I actually find it a bit off-putting when I meet someone who talks about kids as if it’s NOT a big decision. Like an ex of mine who wanted us to have three kids by the time we were 30. Granted, we were young when we were dating, but even at like 24 I remember thinking he was a dope that he had this one-track “I WANT KIDS!” mindset without even thinking about what it actually means to bring a human into the work and raise it.

@TheHizzy Are you in the burbs?