DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I thought I read somewhere that if you’re answer to if you want kids is that you’re not sure…then you probably don’t want them. I know in my case I thought I wanted them when I was a kid myself (Barbies phase) but never felt a yearning that my friends who are mothers had. Now I know for certain I do not want them!
Can I ask opinions? I’ve been reading “Finding your half Orange” which has been suggested here before. In the book the author makes a vision board with paste and posterboard and the whole nine yards. All about what she wanted in a partner.
My therapist and I were discussing the concept of that and she loved the idea. We thought maybe making a secret pinterest board of things I’d like in my ideal life. (A loving partner, a job i like, a home that is safe and comfortable, health, financial stability, travel, possible kids) etc.
Apparently I’m negative (not shocking) and she says I have to become more positive and convince myself that I will eventually get the life that I want (not just a partner, the whole nine yards.
Would any of you consider making a dream board or a pinterest board or something like that? Have any of you tried this before? I’m not talking a dream wedding board – but like a whole life “if i could have my ideal life this is what it would look like” board?
I read Meeting Your Half-Orange and physically made a vision board. I found it after I met my now husband and a lot of it related to him/our relationship. I say do it. Be more positive and don’t put any more energy in guys who don’t give it back.
I would like to do it too. It sounds interesting. And I can kind of see how it would help see things you want as goals so you can work in achieving them.
Funny you say that… I read a book, can’t remember which one, and it had an exercise to list all of the things you wanted in a partner. It asked specific questions. So I made this list and had it saved in my notes on my iphone.
I randomly pulled it up and it basically completely described my current boyfriend. I mean, I have no idea if we’ll end up together for the long haul, but it was so exciting to find that.
So, go for it!
Is the book any good? A vision board doesn’t seem like something I’d personally do, but I feel like I should pick up some self-help books that have been recommended on here.
@Copa I haven’t finished it but so far it’s okay. She gets a little too cheesy for me in some parts but I think the overall message is good. I personally am not into the physical making of a vision board, but I can get on board with a pinterest version that requires no scissors or paste.
Like for example – I’ve pinned a few pictures and articles of couples working out because I want someone that values health and fitness like do or someone that would be up for working out and being active together. I haven’t had that in past relationships and my health (physical and mental) both suffer when I’m not hitting the gym regularly.
I haven’t done that myself, but I think it can’t hurt. I think if I were dating, I wouldn’t necessarily make a vision board, but I’d at least try a list like MissDre. In therapy, I found that the act of writing things down solidified it in my mind more and helped me be more positive, so there’s that.
Sorta unrelated, but a couple years ago, well before I joined a Crossfit gym, I dated a guy who was super into fitness and Crossfit. And like you, @veritek, I’d love to find someone who enjoys a healthy, balanced lifestyle and wants to do active stuff together. But this guy made me realize I wanted these things in moderation. This guy’s whole life was the gym, basically, and he’d give me unsolicited early-morning wake-up calls to go work out. I’m more into fitness now than I was then, but I think he’d still be too much for me. On the plus side, that body… 😉
@copa oh god no. no no no.
Like, I crossfit for ONE HOUR a day. That’s it. It’s not life – though I’ve made some awesome friends in the community that I consider family at this point. My friends outside of crossfit have told me how much happier I’ve been since I started doing it – so it really has positively impacted my life. But yes, moderation! I’m never gonna be a fitness model – I’m average and I work hard to be average, so I’m not looking for a greek god or anything. I’ll take someone just like me – works out a lot but has a healthy appreciation for alcohol and pizza 🙂
And half the fun of going to the gym is watching the hot guys without their shirts on.
I read the book and I liked the message – basically, stop thinking negatively, because what you put out is what you get back. So like, if you think “I’ll never find the right person” that’s exactly what will happen. Instead think, “I will find the right person, I am worthy, etc” AND put some specifics behind that thinking, you will get that back. Very much like The Secret, Law of Attraction, etc. I should also add, I am NOT typically a Self-help book kind of person. Despite my psychology degree 🙂 I just liked the concept of positive thinking and tried harder to do that on a daily basis. When you’re dating and nothing is happening, it’s so easy to go to the negative and think something is wrong with you.
