DW Community Catch-up Thread
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congrats LadyE – sounds like you’re doing great!
Hizzy – glad she coughed up the money! Does the stepkid have a part time job that could also help out?
@TheLadyE That sounds great! I would be too terrified to do an open mic night, so I’m super impressed and glad you’re throwing yourself into something you enjoy post-breakup.
@TheHizzy Ex sounds like a delight… yikes.@Veritek When do you start the new job? I’m excited for you! Once I got past the initial PTSD-like feeling that my last job gave me, my mood improved drastically when I got out of a job I hated.
My date last night was really fun! In some ways, I had preconceived notions about what this guy was going to be like from texting, and it was a little weird when he wasn’t what I was expecting in some ways. But he was so friendly and chatty and just a jolly guy. He gave me the warmest hug hello! He was super easy to talk to. We got tapas and drank a bottle of wine, then went to a bar near my place for another round. (I drank too much, ooooops.) I didn’t invite him inside, but he met my puppy. He was fairly forward and we kissed more than I’ve ever kissed anyone on a first date (at the restaurant, then at the bar, then made out while we waited for his Lyft). Anyway, he wants to go out again this weekend and I’m up for that!
@copa that sounds like an awesome first date! Would you still want to see AT as well?
As for new job – I start October 9. Finishing out my two weeks and taking some vacation days in between. Is it weird that I check my email a couple times a day just to make sure the offer was real and I’m not imagining it? Because I totally do that. I even put the offer letter on my fridge like kindergarten artwork to make it seem more real. I’m just used to things not quite going my way, it’s nice things are going better now.
It’s the same with my dad’s health. Every time he or my mom call I’m afraid it’s to tell me they are headed back to the hospital. Last night he called just to shoot the breeze with me. He hasn’t done that in a long time. It was awesome.
Yeah, I still want to see A.T. again. This will be the first time I’ve ever dated two people at once. I guess I just feel like with online dating, they always disappear. It doesn’t matter if it’s been one date or sometimes even a few months. So for now I’ll just see how things go with both, and which one disappears.
I am ALWAYS convinced I imagined my job offers and compulsively review them. Like I think leading up to every time I’ve given notice, I’ll sit and review the details of the job offer just one more time to make sure it’s real. I’ve worried endlessly about offers being rescinded after I put in my notice, even though I’d guess that’s pretty rare. I remember when I moved to my current city — I moved a couple states — and I remember worrying that I would show up to the office on the first day and that there wouldn’t be a job for me, and that I’d have uprooted my life for nothing.
@copa it’s not just me! lol
I have to pass a background check and a drug screening and I worry about those too! For no reason! I don’t do drugs and I’ve never even had a speeding ticket, but I’m like “What if someone stole my identity and committed a bunch of crimes in my name??”
Anxiety is a bitch.
I, too, have worried about the background check for no reason. For the job that required a move across state lines, they also checked to make sure I had my J.D. (not a hard requirement of the job but definitely preferred). After I’d given my notice, the final thing they were waiting on was hearing back from my school to verify that yes, I’d graduated. Annnd I even worried about that! Anxiety is weird!
Kiddo has a job. She does full time classes, juggles in work and band on top of it all. She’s going to be hella busy. Someone said they’d hire her back for Christmas at home but she wouldn’t have a ride there and back. So I’m not sure what’s going to happen. After fall she can get more hours at work, and work all summer and then move off campus. Then her expenses will drop drastically. An agreement for one of her scholarships to get in-state after a year she HAD to live on campus AND have a meal plan.
@Ver, aw, sounds like it was an excellent date after everything.
@Courtney, I don’t see anything wrong with messaging him. How good friends is he and your brother? I definitely still have a school girl crushes on my brother’s friends, haha.
@Cleo, love your happy updates! Glad things are still going strong.
Congrats, @TheLadyE! That takes a lot of gumption.
@Copa, really happy your first date went well.
I’m trying to sort out my feelings with this guy. It’s been one month and six dates. He’s kind, sweet, understanding, has his life together and he expresses he likes me in words and actions, and not in an overbearing way. I am well aware of not staying with a guy just because he’s nice and normal and I have stopped seeing guys before when I knew I didn’t want to see them again.
With this guy, I don’t want to stop seeing him, yet, but I don’t know how long this will last. Another month? He’s the most physically assertive guy I’ve been with, which I like. I’ve been clear with what I’m comfortable and he’s really good with consent (as all men should be…). So again, is that clouding my judgment? I flip flop between liking him and not sure whether I’m attracted to him.
I know there is a lot of doubt in my writing. I am always really uncertain about things. I’m kind of doing this as a “No no’s” concept rather than the “Fuck yes” concept, because I am never “fuck yes” about anything. I’m excited getting texts from him. Generally I have fun with him. I feel comfortable talking to him.
I think I’m still going to do this date by date, and well, also see what he’s feeling too. I think he’s aware of my hesitation but still wants to see me.
I met someone great a few weeks ago, and we really hit it off. He’s so handsome and well-dressed and smart and sincere and secure and many more positive adjectives. We quickly became pretty smitten with each other. Unfortunately, he’s getting ready to leave for work and will be half a world away for six months. He has talked about staying in touch while he’s gone, but we haven’t been dating long enough to make any commitments to each other. It’s probably better that way, and my best friend has a point when he says this is the best-case scenario in light of his leaving because I can still date while he’s gone, but if I don’t meet anyone, we can explore our relationship more once he gets back. I probably will feel like that once he’s been gone for a while, but for now, I’m just sad he’s leaving. So that’s my bummer update for y’all. :/
@hfantods You’re not sure you’re attracted to him in what sense? I’ve met guys I find very physically attractive, but in terms of personality/emotional connection, there’s not much going on. I’ve also experienced the opposite, where I enjoy the personality but am not physically attracted to them. Both are necessary, imo, and, I dunno, I think I’d be inclined to walk away if I didn’t feel attracted to someone after six dates.
@shakeourtree This happened to a friend of mine! She met a great guy she hit it off with online not long before she was moving 3,000 miles away for a four-month-long internship. They vaguely kept in touch while she was away. She dated other people. He likely did, too. When she moved back, they started dating and two years later, they’re still going strong! I’ll be shocked if they don’t get married.
It would be more the latter. He could be objectively cute. There are physically attributes I do find attractive. It’s just an X factor and I was hoping after the third date that my physical attraction could grow because everything else is fine. Sometimes in the “right light” I find him attractive. I am also not a stunner myself. Yeah, six dates is pushing it. We are meeting up again. If I don’t find my attraction increasing sooner than later I will end it.
