DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Dang, Copa. That SUCKS. I’m sorry. I guess, at least he didn’t totally ghost with zero explanation? (Remember back when breaking up by phone/email/text was considered cowardly? Lol, so quaint. The olden days!) I hope you still have a nice time on your date with the other guy, and a good therapy session next week. Also, I just got a good laugh out of the random-dog-pics story, so thanks for that.
@LadyE, I’m so impressed with your comedy career! I’ve enjoyed hearing about how you’re doing. It takes a lot of balls to get in front of people like that.
@Vathena Thank you! It’s funny, I’m actually a sales trainer for my day job so I’m very very used to speaking in front of people. That’s not the issue for me at all. The bigger thing for me is writing my own stuff and performing it – like, what if the stuff I write isn’t funny? I was really proud of my set on Saturday and everyone said I was hilarious so while it’s definitely something that you get better the more you do it, I’ve been really happy with how I’ve done so far.
@hfantods I think you have the right mentality at the end of your comment where you say you will enjoy it for what it is now, a fun dating experience. As long as no red flags pop up, you still enjoy being with him, he makes you feel comfortable and happy, keep on doing it! And maybe him one day too 😉 Hehehe I am glad you have been enjoying yourself so far 🙂
@Copa, fuck ya that sucks. I hate those left field turn downs. Even though you are still kind of seeing A.T, I hope you still analyze how it is going with him and only continue if you truly enjoy your time with him. Not just because C.T turned you down and this guy is left.
@LadyE I really wish I lived in your city to see you perform! Really happy to see you are channeling everything into something really constructive. I will need to find a good comedy show here in town to check out soon. Outdoorsy things are slowly wrapping up on account of the cooler weather, so a good excuse to go inside and watch something!
Yeah, I’ve decided I’ll reassess with A.T. in another couple dates. Like I was SO excited after our first date because I had such a great time, then the uncertainty and anxiety set in because he travels for work a fair amount and we don’t live near one another. We have plans tonight with his friends. (Who I’ve met and loved!) So I’m looking forward to it.
I’ve been thinking a lot, and C.T. is basically another guy who falls squarely into the “type” I have historically always gone for — and it never works. I’ve been wondering if being so drawn to C.T. is a sign I should end things with A.T. notwithstanding — like, does that mean there is a better match out there for me? — or if it’s a friendly reminder from the universe that “my type” is not a good fit for me.
I closed my office door yesterday after getting C.T.’s text and cried like three tears, then had to pull my shit together for a fancy-pants work function. Staff didn’t get dinner until almost 10:30 p.m. So I had a lot of alcohol and very little food. I was in good shape at the event, but as soon as I got in a cab to go home all the alcohol caught up to me. I told my cab driver, Raj, all my problems and he told me I’m very beautiful and would take me for Indian food. (Heh. But, also, kinda weird/creepy.) I got home, saw my dog, and immediately lost my shit and cried into his fluff. (Decision to get a dog has been validated!)
I know we only dated for a month, but in that time, I really got my hopes up. I’m confident in who I am and what I want, and that helps with online dating, but man… the rejection feels so constant and can be rough to handle. As much as I feel stupid for crying over someone I dated for a month, I also feel embarrassed that I get rejected so often and that I can’t make it work with anyone anymore.
Anyway. Enough of my rambling. I’m going to make hangover pancakes, and I’m seriously pumped for a good cry/talk with my therapist on Monday!
That’s shitty, sorry. What’s this type again? And what kind of guys seem to have YOU as their type?
The only way I know how to describe my type is frat boy: outgoing, social, life-of-the-party types. Usually quite charming, sometimes kinda bro-y. I like the gym, and tend to like the meathead variety of frat boy. Guys who like ME? It’s varied a lot. I’ve only had two long-term boyfriends. One was the frat boy type, the other was quieter, a little shy, a little nerdy. I probably have better luck with the quieter nerdier guys. Engineers tend to love me! When I’m out on dates, the number one thing I look for is just an effortless sense of feeling at ease around someone (like how easily the conversation flows, how comfortable I feel around them, are silences comfortable or awkward) vs. what type someone is.
Yeah, you know, good luck with the “bro” type. As you get older, maybe you’ll find kind of like a reformed one who’s over being like that, but they’re obviously not anyone’s best bet. Do you like engineers? When I went to this tech-heavy networking event a few times, the MIT “geeks” were all over us, and they were funny, charming, and not afraid to make an effort.
PS, accountants like me, idk why.
A.T. is an engineer and I feel like he has a very stereotypical engineer personality. I like him. He’s quiet, but kind. He’s funny, he’s nerdy. He’s a little bit awkward, but he’s social and fun. But he’s more low-key, I guess? I guess I just like the ultra social, outgoing personalities when I’m around them — I get along with that kind of personality well — but in dating, it never seems to work.
I know at this point I’m just lumping people together unfairly based on profession, but I don’t think I could ever date a *software* engineer. One of my friends moved to the Seattle area and all of her friends are software engineers for major companies. They’re nice and good guys, they’re very bright and successful, but they all seem to have the same incredibly awkward social skills, personalities, and mannerisms, and good grief, the overly-complicated board games they spend hours playing? I can’t.
It’s basically my dream to marry an accountant. I don’t even know why. Ha.
Yeah, I get you on the social skills thing. One of my friends has a spouse who doesn’t mix well socially, and I wouldn’t want that. I like guys who play a sport, are (usually) good at math, had a good time in college but were NOT in any way associated with a frat, and like to go to parties. I feel like that’s a good balance. My husband is a bit of a former asshole, though not a bro, and I do like a little of that – an edge.
@Kate and @Copa, the idea of thinking about who my “type” is and who sees ME as their “type” is really really interesting. I’ll be thinking about that a lot today.
Copa, I hope you have a fun time tonight and no matter what happens with A.T. in the future, that this evening helps mitigate the hurt you feel over C.T. You are an amazing woman and he would have been lucky to have you. 🙂
I am going to a comedy show in the middle of a field with a bonfire tonight with a guy friend of mine. It’s called a “Traumedy” show where we “take bad stuff and laugh about it” and “burn it down in the fire.” I don’t really have shoes to wear to a bonfire so I went out and bought Tom’s today just for this. Should be fun! And no, I’m not performing, though if asked after a beer or two I’m sure I could ramble about SEVERAL of my exes. 😛
