DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Ktfran, just say it to him if you’re feeling it. I could be totally in the minority, but I feel like little notes are best / most appropriate for keeping the feelings alive in relationships that are established; like just little reminders of your love that’s already been spoken of. If you guys are just really enjoying each other’s company but haven’t defined the relationship yet, and you’re bursting to say you really like him, just say it. But if you need to say it in a note, ok. It’s not ridiculous.
Aw ktfran! I am so happy for you. I think if that is a way you express your feelings you should go for it. I love sweet notes, especially when they include inside jokes.
The other thing I would say is, trust your gut with these things! It seems like the relationship is making a natural, positive progression and that’s because you’re being true to yourself and doing what feels right (I assume!) so just keep doing that.
Kate…. we’re a couple. We haven’t explicitly said we’re exclusive…. but we are. Yes, I should just say it out loud. To him. Ugh. I hate it though. It stresses me out just thinking about it.
Lianne…. it is progressing naturally! Nothing is forced at all. God, I like him.
I just know in past relationships I haven’t expressed how I feel about someone, which has caused problems because you know, people think I’m not into them nearly as much as they were into me. Anyway, I’m trying to rectify my being so damn cautious with putting myself out there. I suck at being vulnerable.
Alright. I won’t stress. Hopefully I’ll want to spontaneously tell him how I feel sometime soon. I’ll continue to let things just happen.
@ktfran that sounds wonderful 🙂 I’m so happy for you. You do whatever feels best for you to do!
My weekend went really well. I came up to the Illinois Saturday morning (such a pretty drive) and arrived at the football game by the second quarter. I got to watch Tinder teacher in action directing the band and they were great! I didn’t expect to see him until the end of the game but in the third quarter after the band was done and had their instruments in the trailer he came and sat with me! And the he walked around and introduced me to some of his co workers and we got a soda and waited out the game so he could take the trailer back to the school. Then he showed me his classroom and the band room and took me to a practice room because “he really wanted to kiss me as soon as he saw me but isn’t into PDA and the practice rooms don’t have windows ;)”
Then we went back to his apartment and I got a tour and met his cat and then we might have enjoyed a bit of bedroom time. And after chilling for a bit we got dressed and had some wine and he taught me a few notes on his guitar (i totally suck but it was so hot watching him play his guitar)
Then we went to this Mormon restaurant where they don’t serve alcohol (that’s why we pre drank) and they had an amazingly good buffet. He kept saying “please don’t tell your friends i took you to a buffet for your birthday” lol but it was in this quaint little hotel restaurant and it was really cool and the food was amazing. And after that we went for a drive because it was such a beautiful night out and then back to his apartment where we might have ended up in bed again. But we watched some movies on netflix and drank more wine and it was great. I have been so stressed with everything going on in my life right now and I swear it just lifts when I’m around him. He makes me feel so comfortable. We stayed up till about midnight and then fell asleep.
I had to wake up early to get back to town by 10 yesterday so I set my alarm pretty early but he woke right up and told he happy birthday, and then had amazing birthday sex (haha) and snuggled for about an hour before I just absolutely had to go. He made sure I had coffee and walked me down to my car.
The only sour not/bad part is when I asked when I could see him again and he has band stuff going on for the next four weekends so he cant come down here. I didn’t offer to come up there yet but I might if he says anything. I really don’t think he’s blowing me off, but it’s gonna suck going 4-5 weeks without seeing him. I might write wendy for some long distance tips because a 3 hour drive on a weekday just really isn’t feasible. But it was an amazing weekend. Sorry for the novel 🙂
Veritek, happy birthday and happy awesome date!! This guy sounds so nice, and considerate, and just overall wonderful. I hope you two can work out a way to see each other (semi) regularly!
(Also, we’re almost birthday sisters…my birthday is today:))
ktfran, I think a note in this case would be really nice. Think of it this way: the note is already a big step for you, right? So it’s kind of dipping your toes into this vulnerability thing without having to go all out on the first try. Besides, he’ll probably come back to you with a ‘So…I found your note’ or something, and then you can just go with that flow and see what you want to add:).
Ktfran, I think you should absolutely say these things out loud, but if you need to warm up a bit, I think the note idea is cute.
Happy birthday Veritek! And that sounds like a nice weekend
@ktfran, I suck at getting my feelings out when it’s something big or important to me. I tend to rehearse and then when I want to say it, I have to turn to my bf and be like “i have to say something” and he knows that is his cue to shut up and wait because I usually clam up and it takes 3 tries to get it out. Even now, 4 years in, I have to use that technique sometimes.
Snoopy… that sounds pretty much like me. I’ve talked with this about my therapist and there is no real solution except do it and practice. But it’s still so hard!
Ver… that sounds awesome. Three hours is a long drive on a weeknight. I was going to suggest meeting half way, but that’s still three hours total. I’m not sure what to suggest. Do you ever have the option of working from home? Also, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
Thanks Regina and Lianne!
And yes, expressing any feelings or in a non joking or non sarcastic manner is an effing huge deal to me. Luckily, he does know this about me because I kind of told him that stuff makes me uncomfortable. I think I told him that on the first date.
Veritek, sounds like a great weekend – and happy birthday! 4 weeks is so. long. Especially at such an early stage where I am sure you both just want to see each other all the time. Did he have any creative suggestions for trying to see you sooner? Like, does the band take up the next 4 weekends ALL WEEKEND? Could you meet for breakfast half-way one of the weekend days or something?
Happy birthday to you too Lianne! I didn’t think to suggest it yesterday but I don’t mind going up there again. I think he feels like it’s his turn to come down here, but if there’s a football game I don’t mind going up there again and he can make it up to me later. He didn’t have any suggestions but we didn’t have much time to talk about it.
@kate says to hang back and see what he does and if he steps up. I don’t know. I don’t mind offering to go up there again but I also don’t want to be doing all the work. I also don’t mind meeting halfway but I haven’t suggested that yet.
