DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Sounds like a great date, @veritek! I hope he’ll get back to you and suggest meeting earlier than in 4-5 weeks. Honestly waiting 4-5 weeks to see each other is simply too long this early in the dating game. You don’t want to spend a month waiting to get together with him again only to find out things are not taking off anyway. There has got to be some flexibility with the band thing, right?
ktfran, I have trouble expressing my feelings, too. Are you afraid you might ruin things by being too open with your emotions? I sometimes feel that way but I think if things are going well with this guy (and it sounds like they are) the kind of ‘declaration’ you want to make is perfectly fine. And if you have a good thing going you’re not going to ruin it either way because he’ll probably be able to read you correctly.
Three hours distance really isn’t so bad. You could easily meet halfway, like lianne suggests. When Drew and I started dating, we were half a country apart and sometimes had to go 4 weeks without seeing each other, and even when we DID see each other, it meant the expense of plane tickets, long commutes, and often missing a day or two of work. You guys are in a much more ideal situation. You can definitely make this work if you’re both committed to seeing if there’s potential for something real here.
“@kate says to hang back and see what he does and if he steps up. I don’t know. I don’t mind offering to go up there again but I also don’t want to be doing all the work. I also don’t mind meeting halfway but I haven’t suggested that yet.”
Here’s the thing: If he’s saying, look, I’m busy for the next 4-5 weeks,” and you’re saying “aww, I’d love to see you sooner,” and he then says, “you know, so would I, how can we make this work?” then great, offer to come up there again. But if he’s not saying that, and changing the subject and whatnot, then I say pull back.
Also, Ver, it would be so easy to meet somewhere in the middle on a Sunday. I would totally drive that distance to spend an afternoon with someone I cared about.
Right, I want to see him offer up that option, ktfran, since Veritek already put herself out there and let him know that she’d love to see him again before 4-5 weeks go by.
I’m not sure what this thread is actually about but if it’s about someone asking this much advice to merit a month long or more (?) thread about dating someone in the beginning stages, I think this person needs to move on already and find someone else.
This is more a sharing thread than an advice thread really. It’s exactly what the “general chat” category is for.
Happy birthday to Veritek and Lianne!
I also would suggest meeting in the middle- going 4 weeks without seeing him is going to make it incredibly hard to get any momentum going in the relationship. Also, I wonder if his band stuff takes absolutely all weekend? Because if not, you could spend the weekend with him, but while he’s off doing band stuff you could go off exploring his area on your own till he’s finished.
Also! I have a date tomorrow! (Wut!) And I’m excited! And he’s excited too!
Kate said: “If he’s saying, look, I’m busy for the next 4-5 weeks,” and you’re saying “aww, I’d love to see you sooner,” and he then says, “you know, so would I, how can we make this work?” then great, offer to come up there again. But if he’s not saying that, and changing the subject and whatnot, then I say pull back.”
I agree, but are we there yet, veritek? I mean, up until now he has sounded nothing but interested and thoughtful, right? I wouldn’t make the leap to ‘potentially uninterested’ so soon, especially after such a great weekend that’s only *just* over! Of course, I’m with Kate on the ‘he should put the same effort in’ front; I’m just saying it seems a little early to be thinking/worrying along those lines:).
