DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Ver – this was what, your third date? And it just ended yesterday morning? I wouldn’t be too concerned yet that he didn’t suggest a get together. I would give him a few days to suggest before thinking the worst.
However, knowing myself, I would echo others in that I don’t think I would suggest something. I would want to see where his head is at.
Let us know if he gets a hold of you today or tomorrow! I think that will be telling also.
I think that’s a good sign…
I don’t always have the next time I’m going to see the guy worked out when we end a date. I think you just need to give him a few days. I hope he is the one to suggest something though. I would probably hold off until he does, but I might hint at it.
I’m with Ale, that’s why I was sort of trying to slow the worry train:)
Look, this guy has gone out of his way so far to make it clear he’s into you! Your dates have been perfect! He gets up early with you to make sure you get coffee! If that isn’t a sign he’s into you, I don’t know what is.
If I’m getting you correctly, what happened is:
– you said goodbye after an amazing ‘date’/weekend;
– he said he’s busy for the next 4-5 weekends;
– you said that was a bummer;
– he was apologetic (but didn’t offer an alternative plan).From the above, I’d think the clearest (and most honest/direct) communication step is to get back at him and tell him ‘hey, you know, that part where you said you’d be busy for the next 4-5 weeks…that bummed me out. I’d love to see you sooner. Is there a way we can make that happen?’
And from there, wait for what he offers up (don’t fill in the blanks for him or have an offer ready). Just be open to his reaction. It will tell you if he’s interested (active, concrete brainstorming) or not. And THAT’S when you *might*, *could*, *possibly* encounter something to worry about…not now:).
So I think this is not that complicated. The facts– Veritek and this dude spent a great weekend together, him just saying “I can’t come to you for the next month because I am insanely slammed” doesn’t secretly mean he doesn’t want to see her or wouldn’t love to see her, he is just giving her a heads up if he seems more distant or isn’t offering to come down again, that is why. Until his actions stop backing what he is saying, I would just enjoy this for what it is and live a bit more in the moment.
Sometimes people get busy, even when they are first dating and are legit very interested in someone. Not everyone is the type to drop things or do anything to make time with someone, even if they really like them, when they have just met and begun to get to know one another! Maybe he didn’t say “I can’t come down for the next month but would love to see you so lets plan a Sunday thing or maybe you can come up here if its not too much” or whatever, because it has been 3 dates and maybe he doesn’t want to come on too strong and they had just banged and spent a great evening/day together and he just assumed it was implied they would work out seeing one another before then, even given his busy schedule. Maybe he didn’t want to make Ver feel like its all on her to come up and so was giving her sort of a heads up/disclaimer when he isn’t offering to come visit her.
He probably wants to see you, but him being busy for 4-5 weekends might mean that you would have to drive up there. So, he might be embarrassed to ask for that. That’s why asking him if you guys could get together sooner than that could help.
Yeah, Regina’s advice is solid.
When Veritek expressed (a couple of times) that she was bummed to wait 4-5 weeks / couldn’t wait to see him again, I would have liked to see him step up and say “I’m bummed too!” or “well, what can we do about that?” or similar. If still nothing like that after a couple days, she can definitely say what Regina suggested.
I’d be keeping my options open at the same time.
Well, not everyone expresses their feelings so easily. I still have trouble telling my boyfriend of one year that I want to see him. And he’s been my boyfriend for a year. And yet I have difficulties telling him to come to my house that is 20 minutes away from his, because I lack the ability to express my feelings so easily and because I think that it would be a burden for him to come. I don’t know, sometimes is hard to put yourself out there and say “I want to see you”, maybe because of the fear of rejection.
Anyways, give him some time and then take the next step. He sounds lovely and worhty of a chance.And just because sometimes I feel like asking my boyfriend to come to my place to spend time together is a nag, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to see him. But if I don’t express it correctly, he might think that. Thankfully, he’s always been more straightforward.
Caught up in my own foolishness I forgot:
Happy birthday Regina!!
AND I hope you have a wonderful date Moneypenny! I expect to hear all about it!
Thanks Veritek! My non-update is that I still don’t know where I’m meeting him. We texted a little over the weekend, and then last night, after not hearing from him, texted him asking if he was still up for getting together. (Which I normally wouldn’t do- he did the asking, he can get back to me, right?) He replied, absolutely, and asked if I wanted to meet in the city. I replied that it sounded great, I’m open to anything. And then nothing. So, a bit ago I sent him a text with some suggestions of places I like, and that basically I’m open. My planner-brain is annoyed because I need to know this stuff! And then my jerk-brain starts to feel uneasy. Whatever.
Sorry, this was longer than it needed to be!
