DW Community Catch-up Thread
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“I wouldn’t go out again with a guy who didn’t listen to “no” right away.”
I feel the same way. If you prefer going out in public because you’re afraid of what could happen, then don’t go.
@VER I’m streaming on facebook live. Only thing that works consistently for me.
YAY on the teen making it! I love watching them go. Our teen competitor aged out after going the last couple years. It’ll be a few years before she’s on the main stage with the women. She’s got a lot of strength to build still.
I’m jealous you got to go. I haven’t made it. I told myself last year I’d go this year, then family happened. Maybe eventually!
I don’t follow crossfit religiously, or really all that much, but do follow the IG page and one or two crossfitters (abbot the red, mathew fras, and Katrin from iceland). And abbot was kicked out. Kind of surprising, but also not.
TheLadyE, don’t go out with him again.
“he definitely didn’t listen to “no” right away).”
Just no. That is a ginormous red flag.
Also, I hear your reasoning, but it is a waste of time to call these guys out. It changes nothing. They’ll keep doing exactly what they were doing, and just write you off as a crazy bitch. And you wast another minute calling him out, plus you get cursed out and waste emotional energy being pissed, venting to others about it, etc. Meanwhile his behavior doesn’t change one iota. He actually gave you the information you needed very quickly, so it’s like, “ok, next.”
Seriously don’t go out with that other guy again, that’s a terrible sign.
@Copa, glad you liked it too! I did cry, but I was with my parents and pretty sure they did too.
Doesn’t really matter what he makes, I’d just say you should proactively take your turn to pay until you have a conversation otherwise.
Yes to what Kate said about paying. And yes to everything everyone said about the no guy. Gross. Also, the “he seems taken with me” and “he’s in no rush” are contradictory. He wants to have sex with you. I’m sorry. That’s what he wants.
I’ve realized and maybe I’m embarrassed that I have no idea what my boyfriend makes. He doesn’t know, or at least I’ve never told him, mine. I think we are comparable. I think his bonus is higher than mine. We know how much vacation we have. Based on lifestyle I don’t think he has debt (I realize that sounds naive but just the sense I have). I guess part of this is while I’m more sure on this relationship than say four or six months ago, I don’t know if he’s my forever person. And money talks make things a lot more serious, perhaps.
Don’t assume he doesn’t have debt. Hell, don’t even move in with someone (not that you are yet) until they prove to you exactly their debt and income. Trust me. They can lie to your face. Happened to me.
Yeah, you don’t need to know until you’re talking about moving in. But then you need to really know, and yeah, lifestyle is no indicator of debt and it’s probably the biggest thing people will mislead you about.
TheLadyE, that guy is just going to keep pushing you for sex and when he realizes you won’t give in right, away he’ll ghost you. Don’t go out with him again.
Also, like two weeks ago you specifically wrote that you don’t want to date a guy with children. That it’s just not a good match for you and at your age you don’t need to make any concessions.
So… why would you go out again with a guy who can’t listen to no, who’s already asking you to come back to his apartment and who has 3 kids when you don’t even want to date a guy with kids?
@hfantods One of my good friends from school was/is drowning in student loan debt (like $150K+) but she really likes nice clothes and accessories. You wouldn’t be able to tell by her lifestyle because she’d rather have a Louis Vuitton tote than make a loan payment. Her feelings about her debt boil down to “I’m never gonna pay this off — so why bother trying hard to?” Although, she did live at home with her parents well into her 30s because of her debt, so I guess that part of her lifestyle made it more obvious.
I just paid off my student loans. I never broadcasted my debt to dates, but it has come up in past relationships (mostly in the context of feelings anxious to be in debt) or even on dates and I’m honest. My situation was never awful and I was aggressive in repayment, and I’m proud I’m done, so I suppose I feel I have nothing to hide. Credit card debt is another story. I don’t have any and have never discussed it with a partner or a date.
I do wish people were more open about salaries, but not because of dating, just because I find it hard to measure my value in the workplace without knowing how others are doing.
When couples discuss finances before moving in, do you require proof? I lived with one boyfriend, years ago when we were like 23-25, but it was such a casually made decision that we had zero financial talks. So I have no idea how the adult pre-move in conversation goes.
