It’s good to read about people’s generally positive dates. I unfortunately have nothing to add. I just wanted to vent out about a non-date and I don’t want to start up a new thread.

Last week, I went on a short trip to Chicago with my mom for fun, just to see the city. I’ve never Tindered outside where I lived so I was on it to see the dating pool there, out of curiosity, but really not planning on meeting anyone as I was traveling with my mom. I did write that I was in Chicago until Saturday in my profile, sort of as an experiment.

On Wednesday, cute lawyer messages me around 10:30 pm and says that he’s actually going to Toronto, where I live, Thursday. He was actually en route to Buffalo for a wedding, so he was only in Toronto for Thursday night. I figured we both knew at that point there’d be no overlap in our visits, but we would chat for a bit.

Around 11 pm he asked if I had plans to go out that night and the thing was 1) it was 11, I didn’t know the city and was afraid of him looking for “more”; and 2) I was traveling with my mom and didn’t want to let her know. I said that I wasn’t planning on it as I had an “early day” the next day. He asked me what my plans were and if I was traveling with anyone e.g. friends, and then I did tell him I was traveling with my mom. I figured it would kill the conversation, and maybe I did want the conversation to end because I was afraid of being vulnerable. Also I didn’t want him to somehow find out that indeed I was traveling with my mom.

However, we continued chatting throughout the week/weekend while he was in Toronto/Buffalo until it was clear that we missed each other. Somehow he may have forgot I left Chicago on Saturday when he asked on Sunday when I was leaving town. Then that really did end the conversation.

I just wish I did meet up with him Wednesday night for a fun travel story. He was Google-able and I knew he was a real person so it wouldn’t have been that dangerous, I think. I feel guilty for continuing to chat with him when I knew there was no overlap and feel bad for, like, leading him on and wasting his time. I mean I know there may be connotations about Tindering while traveling but I really tried to keep things light and non-committal.

Anyway, I’m back home, treading the dating waters again.

I say if there’s no kiss at the end of tomorrow’s date, MOA. Eight dates and nothing physical sends alarm bells. Something is off. And what’s the point in trying to figure out what that something is and trying to fix it? No point. I’ve had a couple times in my life when I went out with a guy three or four times and got not so much as a kiss and it was always a sign that we weren’t right for each other. I’m sorry – I know that sucks to hear, but if I were you, I wouldn’t waste any more time on this guy if something doesn’t happen by the end of tomorrow’s date.

Also, I think it sort of says something that of the three date options you gave him, he chose the most g-rated (not to mention the shortest time commitment). I mean, you can get frisky in a dark movie theater. You can definitely get frisky in someone’s home. But a crowded ice cream parlor on a summer evening? Cute, sure, but not very sexy. I’d think my date 8 (or is it 7?), a guy would want to go sexy. But… let’s see what happens.

I agree with Wendy that something is odd or off if you go on 6+ dates without more than a hug. And it’s not all your responsibility to make it happen, either. He’s not exactly working with you by choosing dates like lunches, driving range, ice cream, and by not trying for a peck on the lips. So if nothing happens, don’t feel like you failed there. It doesn’t hurt to go for a goodnight kiss tomorrow night. If he leans back or moves his head or something, well, there’s your answer. If there IS a kiss, great, progress has been made, and then I’d chill for a bit and see what he does next as far as initiating a date that’s makeout-friendly. Ball’s in his court.