DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Ooh, it gives me a chance to pick out my own unique name that’s not the one my mom gave me because it’s her middle name. Wooooo. 🙂
Copa, Match made me do it when I signed up again in January. I had it last year and used a pseudonym (the same one I use here) but then when I reactivated my membership in January it asked me for my real name again.
We went out last night to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day and see a friend’s band play. The bar caterers to a late 20’s to early 40’s crowd so it wasn’t too bad, but afterwards we decided to walk down the street to see what it was like and there were drunken people everywhere (I live in a University town). Made me realize I am past the drunken party scene. Instead I had a good dinner out with friends, listened to some live music, was home at a reasonable hour and am feeling fine at work today.
@theladyE I agree with everyone to not use your name since it is so common. I have a fairly common first name and a job that puts my face out in the community quite a bit so I always used a pseudonym until I got to know someone.I am so happy to hear that the comedy thing is going so well for you! I have been a lurker for quite awhile and remember when you posted about getting into it, it sounds like this has really turned out to be your thing. Which is so awesome!
@TheLadyE That’s super dumb. Generally speaking, I felt safe online dating and never had any major issues, but I took precautions to not be a total moron (as I’d hope anyone would). You’d think these companies would care more about potential safety issues if for no other reason than maintaining their own reps.
Oh damn @TheLadyE I have a super unique name as well and generally use egyptian themed usernames to keep me low key and not obvious. I am not sure I would be comfortable either having my name out there like that. Especially with so many avenues to find people these days. I had Tinder way back and it connected to FB, and so I had my name there, and when I am in a new city or one that I have no connections to not so much a big deal. But when it is one I grew up in having my name out there makes it hard to miss.
I hated too that with my first name, occupation and city you could find me. On the other hand I did do a Google search on guys before a date as a check they were real. I don’t know, would you start a burner Facebook account for Tinder and Bumble? Of course at a certain point before a first date you’d have to give your name but hopefully most would understand.
I would absolutely use a burner account for Tinder or Bumble. If the alternative is having to take abuse from shitty men who know who I am and where I work? Fake name, fake profile all the way. Anyone who wouldn’t understand that is not a guy I’d want to date anyway.
I know when I dated I **HATED** having to sign up with my name. It felt too sketchy for me but I wanted to find love so I did it. I would chat on the app, transfer over to KIK and chat there, have a date and then give a phone numbers. Maybe too many layers but I didn’t like to log into tinder daily and I didn’t want my number out there.
I had a pretty high profile job in my area where you could google search my number and find out who I was. I also never took guys back to my place, I always feared if things went south.
The time I learned to have the couple layers of protection was when I didn’t reply RIGHT AWAY to a dude and he went OFF on me. I had told him from the start I was busy and my reply during 9-5 would be sparse. He would text me and then he went off on how I didn’t reply back quickly but I could log into an app to do something because it showed active time. I explained it away to him and he was all like “Ok lets go out” and I was like “dude you’re fucking bonkers” and he told me he didn’t think I really had a job that would keep me that busy. Deleted. Blocked. Buh-bye.
At this point, I don’t see the point in a burner account for Tinder and Bumble. Tinder used to require you to include occupation info, but at some point stopped with that. Unless things have changed since when I was actively dating (less than a year ago), it’s now at your discretion how much information you choose to include aside from your name and age.
I also used to search for my dates online to quickly verify that they are who they say they are. LinkedIn was always the best way to do this.
And that’s why I didn’t use LinkedIn either. Was over being online stalked, to the point of being able to find my workplace, by random people. Once stalker buy started up I was done.
I haven’t been on tinder in a loooooooong time. Hopefully never again 🙂
It’s interesting how it went from online dating like match and being taboo to being the normal and the same with being social media present to try to hide.
As a society I think we are slowly learning privacy again!
I’m going to vent a second because the husband is away on business and I need to and then I’m done.
You know what’s fun? Waking up screaming in the middle of the night because you thought your hand was covered in a black tar like substance and your husband, who needed to wake up super early for a flight, had to turn on the lights so you could see for yourself that your hand was perfectly normal. Your heart is racing and you feel bad for waking your husband up to screams. Night terrors suck. Usually they’re about spiders dropping from the ceiling or creepy, slimy things in our bed. The hand thing was new.
And you know what’s also fun? Arriving at the bus stop, the bus pulling up, reaching into your purse for your pass and it not being there. Your purse is now empty, the contents in your hand as you walk on the bus saying you can’t find your pass, but you pay the monthly for unlimited and the bus driver telling you sorry. You need to get off. I went back home. Searched frantically. It was attached to papers I had pulled out yesterday. Happy I found it but also annoyed because sometimes you get a nice bus driver and I didn’t today. In 10 years, that was only the second time that has happened.
I want to start Monday at 9:30 pm over. Instead maybe I’ll get a chocolate donut.
ETA: I do know there are far worse things in the world. I really just needed a quick vent.
Yes to a chocolate donut. That should help. Sorry about the night terrors. I have had some in the past but not regularly. I remember one time screaming bloody murder in my sleep because I thought someone was killing me. Causes me to feel like crap the next day too since I was so stressed, couldn’t easily get back to sleep. I am so sorry.
Son is home as of last night. Luckily his flight wasn’t delayed as he already was getting in at 10p.m. His mother clearly doesn’t think “oh hey he has school in the morning, maybe he should get in at a reasonable hour”. She’s more concerned about what is convenient to her schedule. Parent of the year. And she has like 7 airports in driving distance so there are no shortages of flight time options.
We found out that he keeps forgetting his school ID to the tune of a bill coming for $150 worth of replacements. So this a.m. as he is leaving I ask him if he has it, and he goes back upstairs to get it. Grrrrrrrr…. I totally get forgetting it now and then, we all forget something, but to the tune of $150!!!! Does anyone else ever feel like punishing their children just ends up being a punishment for themselves. My friend joked about it the other day. You ground them and they are around all the time complaining about being grounded because they have nothing else to do. ha! He isn’t grounded but we made him pay for it since he does have a part time job (his choice to get the job). Hoping him having to feel the financial impact will make him realize it is worth remembering. Glad to have him back though and the house getting back to normal. I feel like husband and I don’t know what to do with ourselves when he is gone, other than not wear pants.
