DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I have a dating question.
For our wedding I have offered out a +1 to people who are single if they wanted to bring someone should they want some company. Someone in my wedding party is single, and she’s bringing a date. Not a big deal. The way I used to RSVP I wasn’t able to not give her a +1 for the rehearsal so she’s bringing him to the rehearsal. She’s met all the other bridesmaids, she knows my parents and everything….if you were single would you bring a date to the rehearsal/dinner? I never did. If I were single and IN the wedding, I never brought a guest. If I was single but just attending the wedding it was a 50/50 if I brought someone. Just curious everyone’s thoughts.
Sounds normal to me? It’s a dinner party, and I’d think could I bring a date. I’d check first though, because I figure there’s a reservation and someone’s paying for it.
For our wedding I have offered out a +1 to people who are single if they wanted to bring someone should they want some company. Someone in my wedding party is single, and she’s bringing a date. Not a big deal. The way I used to RSVP I wasn’t able to not give her a +1 for the rehearsal so she’s bringing him to the rehearsal. She’s met all the other bridesmaids, she knows my parents and everything….if you were single would you bring a date to the rehearsal/dinner? I never did. If I were single and IN the wedding, I never brought a guest. If I was single but just attending the wedding it was a 50/50 if I brought someone. Just curious everyone’s thoughts.
I was a maid of honor for my best friend’s wedding when i was single and i would have felt weird bringing a non-boyfriend,fiance,etc. to the rehearsal dinner. Beyond the fact i was glad to be able to concentrate on things surrounding the wedding without having to make sure my date was comfortable, i would have felt awkward having someone foot the bill for them.
Right? I mean, either way it’s fine on what she does. I just know I personally never would ask a person to go through that. If I was in a wedding, I know I’m NOT spending enough time with that person to make it worth their wild.
It’s up to her. She is also fearful of being alone and has been guy jumping every couple months since her divorce 2 years ago. After a disaster of a bridal shower I learned I can’t count on her because it HAS to be about her ALL the time. She loves this dude, and would marry him in a heartbeat but doesn’t understand his desire to move slow because his kid. She said “his kid won’t get attached, she’s 16.” Um hello!! YES SHE WILL.
To be honest, this seems like a really petty thing to even notice. Who cares?! You extended a +1 invite, she’s using her +1, done. Doesn’t matter what you or anyone else would do in the same situation, i’m not sure why it’s worth judging her about it. It seems more likely you’re still upset from the bridal shower (reasonable) and letting it effect how you see all her other actions.
I don’t think I’m judging her. It’s just different from what I would do, so I was just curious what others would do. I’ve stated several times – whatever she decided is fine.
I’m also of the opinion that you extended the +1, so she has every right to bring a +1. If I get a +1, if I am dating someone, I’m bringing him. It’s a party and I would want to share that with the person I am dating. I don’t get why a bride would extend a +1 if she didn’t really think the person would bring someone?
Ironically, my younger cousin is getting married in July and they originally extended a +1 to both me and my sister. We are both in varying stages of relationships and do not have “official” long term partners (yet). (I’ve been dating a guy for about a month; my sister is in the drawn-out stages of a breakup that may or may not happen.) My mom called today to say the bride (my cousin is the groom) now wants to rescind the +1s for me and my sister in order to invite more of her friends/family (and also ignore my cousin’s family, it’s a whole thing). It’s also a destination wedding in Hilton Head. I admit, I’m a bit peeved that she is now apparently saying she’s going to rescind the +1s; I think it’s tacky and it makes me not want to go and spend $100 on a wedding gift and use my PTO on someone who is so willing to do a “takeback”. Then again, I’m not super close with my cousin (closer with my aunt, his mom, and want to support my mom, her sister) but that’s how I feel about it right now.
I do think it’s a bit weird to bring a rando to the rehearsal dinner. I personally wouldn’t do it, but I’ve never had a problem attending things solo. And I’d feel bad leaving a date while I did bridesmaid things with the bride.
But I agree that I feel you send out the plus one invite, you should be ok with whatever the person decides to do.
Did you give her a plus one to the rehearsal or no? Is this just the dinner or actually a rehearsal — and which part are the spouses attending? Did you give her a plus one to even the wedding?
For the rehearsal part, if I were in the wedding and I didn’t get a plus one, I wouldn’t bring a date or ask. I see it more as wedding duties rather than a dinner party.Even if I did get a plus one and this was a newer relationship I wouldn’t bring a date because I’d be busy.
And re the previous topic, I thought my bf and I were fine sleeping through the night. I’ve just learned that I roll onto his side sometimes so much so he’s on the edge! I am a little embarrassed. He obviously knows it’s not intentional. He sweetly brought it up. I’m not sure what to do other than be more on my side when I fall asleep (we usually cuddle then go out “side”).
I’ve never brought a date to a wedding just to have a date when I was single. I’ve never had an issue attending things like that alone, though, and have been to plenty of weddings solo. I think it’s fine she’s bringing a date to the wedding even though she’s in it. As for the rehearsal dinner, I’ve never been to one — so while I wouldn’t bring a random date just to have a date, I’m also someone who doesn’t know what the norm is. If the invite made it look like dates were allowed or encouraged, I’d probably not think twice about bringing one if I were someone who prefers company. Agreed that if you offered the +1, it’s up to her!
I know a fair number of people who met their eventual spouses at weddings. You don’t want some rando date slowing you down when you could be on the prowl.
Dude. That’s what I’m saying. Unless you’re tied down, be single at weddings. Have fun. Don’t deal with entertaining someone you’ve been on 3.2 dates with.
