DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@cleo, absolutely, never a right time—- always a trip, concert or birthday coming up. I don’t know the details of my friend’s breakup. Regardless of any decision, you will wonder but we make them and move on.
So on a tangent. I just won the Hamilton lottery in my city and BG is out of town doing some training for his new job, which is a huge bummer to me since it’d be such a fun date night. His mom and stepdad were generous enough to cover my airfare to spend Thanksgiving with them, and now I’m thinking it’d be a good opportunity to invite his mom to see the show with me, if she’s interested, as a thank you. I like her as much as I know her at this point, but have never spent time on her one-on-one, so I’m feeling a little unsure of myself at the moment!
You could totally do it. The good thing about a show is that you’re not stuck talking to someone for hours. You’re sitting silently, smiling and laughing, enjoying a shared experience. Def low stakes for your first outing.
Not to mention that you’ll score MAJOR cool points.
So BG’s mom cannot make it! She’s in Florida and seemed both genuinely glad I asked and sad she couldn’t come. So I’m glad I worked up the nerve to ask even though it made me nervous.
As an aside, one of my friends just found out that the guy she has been dating for the past 4-5 months is secretly married! He’d told her his ex-wife died years ago. Not sure how she found out, but his “ex-wife” is alive and well and lives locally, and they are in the middle of a divorce. I met him about two months ago and he seemed nice enough, so I’m pretty shocked to hear he’s shady. I guess some of the people closest to her are telling her to move past the lies, but I couldn’t get past made up dead ex spouses. Good grief.
Wait. What!?! He lied and said his (theoretically soon to be ex) wife was DEAD? That’s … no. Just no. Who does that? And why? I’d be wondering what else he may be lying about and his mental state, quite frankly. Huge red flag.
Yeah, it’s bizarre. I haven’t heard the full story yet, but I’m like, if he was going to lie about his marital status, why did there have to be a dead ex-wife at all? I guess a few people have told her to let the lie go. But… just no.
So good to catch up on reading the updates. My husband and I got back about a week ago from a week’s trip to Ireland. It was such beautiful country and had lots of fun. I drove on the other side of the road…that was a crazy experience!
@Copa – I think that’s one of the most bizarre dating things I’ve heard in awhile. I hope she breaks up with him!
@Copa – that seems like enough of a red flag to walk away for your friend. You dont’ like about being married/being a widower.
MofV and I took engagement photos yesterday and had so much fun and loved the previews. We also had both sets of parents out to the winery where we are getting married to see the spaces and meet with the new coordinator. It was such a relief that his parents were able to come and be excited for us and see the space and they loved it as much as we did. His mom said after seeing it she understands even more just how different our wedding will be from his sisters.
Unfortunately, while I was walking my parents to their car MofV was asking his mom if his sister has calmed down any about the wedding dates. His mom actually teared up and said she’s just such a wild card right now. She can be sweet one day and so so mean the next day – particularly mean to mom. They told sister where they were going yesterday (to come see us and the winery) and she was just hateful and rude to them for wanting to go be excited for their son and his wedding. It made MofV feel so crappy and he said to me later “Is it so wrong for me to have a day and have my family be excited for me?” And my heart just breaks for him. I made it clear to him that I never want to be the reason why he doesn’t have a relationship with his sister. His mom apparently encouraged him/us to sit down with her and her fiancé and try to talk things out again but MofV and I agree that there’s no point. It won’t be productive and it’ll just be another opportunity for me to be painted as the bad guy and so maybe in a year or so after the weddings are over.
Aww, Veritek. I’m super glad you enjoyed your photo shoot and both sets of y’all’s parents toured the winery. You and MoV are correct to not bother with his sister. In fact, I’d advise to just stop asking about her until after the wedding. All it does is give her room to spread her misery and feed into her narrative that she’s owed some sort of … whatever because she’s also getting married. Maybe she’ll be better after it’s all said and done, but I honestly doubt it. I suspect she’s been this way her entire life and always will be. It sucks for MoV that his sister is a brat, but it seems pretty clear that everyone knows she’s the problem here, not you. Just focus on your relationship and do everything you need to do to enjoy your wedding, which it sounds like you’re doing, so good for you!
My friend and her boyfriend are over! I guess I misunderstood the story. She found out about the soon-to-be ex-wife because he broke up with her in a way that felt very abrupt and made no sense to her. So she took to Google and did a pretty deep dive, or so it sounds, and now feels foolish that she never thought to do that in the first place since they met online. I’ve never done more than a superficial Google search for an online date, so I told her not to feel bad. He’s a bullet dodged. I feel bad about it, though. She doesn’t deserve that.
@Veritek MOV’s sister sounds awful. I personally wouldn’t bother to sit down with her to try to work things out. Neither of you have to be close to her just because she’s family. I can’t remember how old you said she is (like 30ish?) but I wish someone would tell her to grow the fuck up. Worse things have happened than your brother getting married a few months before you. Glad you had fun doing your engagement photos, though! I liked the previews you shared on IG, and that red dress/scarf combo!
In my relationship, BG started his new job a few weeks ago! He’s liking it so far but so far not much has changed for us as a couple yet. This job doesn’t entail much travel (yay!) but he was gone last week for training and has another one coming up, and I guess has a two-part exam to take that he wants to get out of the way ASAP. He generally works in healthcare and will now deal with being on-call periodically. Last night we were carving pumpkins at my place when he got his first on-call assignment (or however it’s called) and he wasn’t able to do what he needed to do from his phone, so he had to leave early. Which was a bummer! I’m glad my sister was with us so I had someone to finish the pumpkins with! Curious how the on-call thing will shake out. My last LTR was with a guy who also worked in healthcare and also had to be on-call (totally different roles, and the ex was pretty much always on-call) and it was hard sometimes.
