DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@Moneypenny – my condolences to your boss and your work family/
@ktfran – I had 18k in credit card debt at one point and now it’s down to less than 2k and will be paid at the end of the year. I feel like most of us have been at that point in one way or another, nothing to be embarrassed about.Also, off topic, my husband and I took a long delayed honeymoon last week. Trip started off with my dad in the ICU on a ventilator (he’s fine now but dam that was scary – an no he didn’t have Covid) and ended with me pretty much totaling our car on the drive home less than two hours from home (miraculously we had no injuries other than bumps and bruises and burns from the seatbelt). So our family will not be going on any vacations again any time soon. But it was sweet to see how quickly my husband went into protective mode and took care of me. Had I been in that car alone I would have lost it.
That is so scary @ver. I am glad you are both relatively OK. That sucks a lot about your car though.
My family vacation was lovely. We lucked out with the weather. It was great to get away. Also I think everyone, being my family and my boyfriend, got along. I wasn’t really worried before but you never know. He scored bonus points with my two and a half year old niece for cutting up an apple for her without her asking. She seemed to really learn his name on this trip! My mom also mentioned that she was glad my sister and I both found men who “do things”, e.g, wash the dishes and such. I’m glad my family could get to know my boyfriend more and vice versa.
Yikes, @veritek! Glad you guys are ok. And hope you feel okay physically, too. I once involved in a five-car pile-up on a highway and we all walked away unharmed, thank goodness, but I was SO sore the next day. Hope your dad is doing better, too.
@hfantods Glad you guys had a good time! I generally have been able to enjoy myself vacationing with an SO’s family, but it can be tiring.I’ve listed my apartment for relet online. I’ve had about three people flake out with no notice for scheduled times to see the place, which is frustrating. Yesterday a guy came by with his dad to view it and they treated it like a condo showing. Turned on every faucet, flushed the toilet, tested the outlets, opened every cabinet. And after they left, he texted to ask questions like how many outlets there are (he forgot to count!) and asked if I could send him screenshots of my most recent electric and gas bills. I’ve never been this thorough in my life with a rental. I’m hoping his follow up, though odd, means his interest is sincere because I’d like this particular worry off my shoulders.
BG and I are doing an overnight near a beach town in western Michigan this weekend and I’m excited. It was supposed to be a long weekend trip near another beach town in MI, which I was very much looking forward to, but we cut it down to one night and changed locations to cut costs with our move coming up. Looking forward to it regardless.
Oh, and forgot to add. My dad did not say anything when I told my family I was moving in with BG. Over the weekend, we were speaking by phone and he asked, “Are you sure this is the right thing for you?” I asked what he meant by that and he said he meant what he said. So there’s that reaction, which I didn’t love and made me feel kinda bad.
Hmm. I don’t know your dad, but my dad rarely weighs in on these things and when he does, he’s been right. Of course maybe he’s just reacting to the moving in together aspect, but what’s your take on what he could be referring to?
Omg @Ver, I’m so glad to hear y’all are OK! That sounds so scary. I saw your pics on IG too. The biggest thing is that thankfully no one else hit you (and of course that you weren’t hurt). Glad you got some time away before that happened, but it’s always upsetting when you’re coming back from a vacation and something bad happens. 🙁
@hfantods, glad everything went well! My boyfriend is such a “fixer” and he has impressed my family so much by fixing things around my house, so I totally get it. 🙂@Copa, why do you think your dad said that? Is it something about BG? He doesn’t agree with living together? That is odd. Please don’t feel bad; you’ve taken a lot of time to think about it and decide, plus you & BG have spent a lot of time together in quarantine. It’s not like you’re rushing into it or even making fast financial decisions. It’s your life!
As for me, my boyfriend’s birthday was a couple weeks ago and he came over and stayed in my guest room for a few days (he’s still terrified of giving me the virus even though he has not gotten it as far as we know). He wears a mask in my house and we stay distanced, which is hard but necessary. Then this past weekend I made a big pan of enchiladas and had a salsa and guac bar and my best friends from college (married couple) and my boyfriend came over to have dinner and we played Taboo. It was tons of fun even though I didn’t even get to leave my house. Maybe someday we’ll get to go on a trip…heh.
No clue, tbh. My whole immediate family dynamics are pretty whacky to other people. My dad and I don’t have much of a relationship and it’s a fairly awkward one when we talk. He was a really controlling and critical dad growing up and was not good to my mom in many ways.
Anyway, he’s met my boyfriend maybe three times in the 2+ years we’ve been dating, and in those times, hasn’t really tried to get to know him. This is just how my dad is, it’s not a reflection of my boyfriend. He’s never shown an interest in getting to know anyone I’ve dated, or even friends who were frequently around when I was growing up. If he thinks my boyfriend is a bad pick, I don’t know why because he doesn’t know him. He then asked me if there were any legal implications, and my immediate reaction was, “Oh, he’s just wondering if I did something dumb by buying property with a boyfriend,” and I told him no. After we hung up, I realized he may have been asking if we quietly got married. Also no.
My mom likes my boyfriend. She hasn’t congratulated us — my parents are generally unsupportive and this is not out of character — but has been otherwise supportive even though she’s not going to tell us she’s excited for us. She’d speak up if she thought it was a bad idea, and I’d put stock in her opinion. My dad’s? Not as much. But the way he approached it just made me feel frustrated and kinda shitty because it felt critical of a relationship he knows very little about. Like even if you’re not excited for me or don’t think it warrants a congratulations or just want me to understand it’s not a step to be taken lightly, that’s fine — but something like a “Wow, that’s a big step,” would’ve been a better reaction.
Yeah, it’d be nice to have more supportive parents, but I don’t bother getting upset about it at this point. They are who they are and their awful marriage has really colored their perspective on a lot of things. Which is understandable. My sister is excited for us and is going to help me pack and wants to help us get settled in. And that means something to me!
@TheLadyE I’m glad you got to spend some time with your boyfriend, even if it involved distancing and masks. I’ve felt very grateful to have my boyfriend through all of this. Physical touch — even just the ability to get a hug or whatever — is important! I listened to a podcast about how people who were single or otherwise alone during the pandemic have been dealing with “skin hunger.” Like people described what it felt like to accidentally graze a cashier’s hand or how they’d try to self-soothe after going so long with zero touch.As an aside, one of my friends is married to a doctor and had a baby in May. In March, her husband got sick and they didn’t know what it was at the time so they had to wear masks at home, keep their distance, and clean like crazy for… awhile. He later got an antibody test, and his March illness was COVID. If my friend caught it (we may never know) she was totally asymptomatic. The last couple months of her pregnancy were very stressful on them.
@Veritek33 glad to hear you are okay! Will you try to plan a different honeymoon later? Or were these events just pre and post the honeymoon?
@Copa, well if your family isn’t supportive at least this community and your friends are! At that point maybe that is where you get your stronger support system from 🙂
I’ve been seeing someone for a couple months now, but things have turned for the worst in my eye the last few weeks. He warned me he would be unavailable most evenings during the week due to overtime work for the next 6 weeks. However he hasn’t been making much of an effort to keep in touch with me or keep me updated on his availability (which when I ask has been none so far, even on weekends).
By taking on the maintenance of our communication the last few weeks it has felt very one sided, compared to when we were seeing each other once a week for long day dates (which were great and lots of enthusiasm from him). My breaking point is in view and I hate that it has happened so quickly after 2 months of seemingly good dates with him.
I’m sorry your dad made you feel cruddy @Copa. Even if it is not a reflection on your boyfriend that’s not what you want to hear.
I can’t really imagine what my parents will say when/if my boyfriend and I move in together. I can’t imagine they will congratulate me. They are more conservative that way. They might even ask what copa’s dad asked but just a way to check in.
I’m glad you and your bf are making things work @TheLadyE. I kind of feel like a bad gf because my boyfriend is immunocompromised due to his medication with Crohns. He has been ok with everything we are doing but obviously I do not want to transmit to him.
Hmm @Cleo, that sucks but at least you know relatively sooner than later.
I wanted to add that it’s been so amazing to see how much my relationship has grown. We went on our first road trip a few months in. The car ride felt natural and not awkward but I wasn’t comfortable singing in the car. Now I sing poorly and I put my feet up on the dashboard (with his permission). We are celebrating our three year anniversary this weekend! I think we will just go out for dinner.
@copa: maybe he’s asking or implying (with his not-so-great-communications skills) if you’re sure as in “do you think this has marriage potential.” Like, hey.. moving in is a big step, have you thought about the NEXT big step and is that where this is going. Of course, this is more hopeful thinking.
