Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Anyone going on awesome dates?

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  • #979662 Reply

    We basically do our own laundry, but he does more. He’ll do the sheets, or throw my laundry in if it’s sitting in the basket and I haven’t gotten to it yet. Sometimes I’ll fold his.

    He has a lot of sweaty workout gear and I have a lot of delicates, so I prefer to just do our own rather than throw it all in together.

    #979684 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ

    We used to do our own, but I started just doing all the clothes since I’m more particular about how mine are washed and it got annoying doing two sets of half loads fir each type of clothes instead of doing our stuff together.

    #979696 Reply

    Interesting, thanks all. It dawned on me that my mom did all of our laundry growing up, including ironing my dad’s shirts. She was of that era. I mean I knew but didn’t fully appreciate it. I don’t think I want to do that or that my fiancé expects that. I don’t think I am ready to touch his sweaty workout clothes haha, but I am more particular about my laundry. But it’s more environmentally friendly to do fuller loads.

    I see how that the division of chores might change when you have the baby (!), ver.

    • This reply was modified 4 weeks, 1 day ago by avatarhfantods.
    #979698 Reply

    We do our own. And I do towels and sheets, but he’ll hold the towels.

    Other household chores, I do all surfaces. He does floors and toilets. I do most of the cooking and dishes too.

    I’m more particular so that’s why I do a little more on the house front and meal planning, but he handles bills. I fee were pretty even.

    #979713 Reply

    We also do our own laundry and so far that’s working for us. I also have a lot of delicates that I worry he’d unintentionally wash or dry in a way that damages them. We’ll throw our towels in together, which he usually folds and put away. I tend to be the one to grab the sheets and throw them in.

    For other chores, I do most of the food shopping and cooking (I enjoy both the grocery store and cooking), he does most of the cleaning. The last one out of bed in the morning makes the bed. If one of us is running an errand that involves going out the back door, that person takes the trash or a bag of recycling down. He does all of the handiwork and manages the bills. I do more of the dog stuff, but the dog was mine when we met. Since we’ve only lived together during the pandemic, how we divide up the chores may have to change when I go back to the office (BG will likely be permanently remote) and there may be some growing pains then.

    My parents also had traditional roles like yours, @hfantods. Over the weekend, I was FaceTiming with my mom and she was surprised to see BG cleaning the kitchen in the background. My dad would’ve never. Things have changed and you can divide things up in whatever way works for you guys.

    Also, re: home buying. The market seems to have shifted here. Or at least that’s my anecdotal take-away specific to my area. I was stunned by how quickly places were flying off the market over the summer, including BG’s place, which sold in like three days. One of his old neighbors and one of my friends/her husband are trying to sell their places and both condos have been on the market for several months now. BG’s old place is not quite a mile from us, my friend/her husband’s place is three blocks from us. My friend/her husband bought a house in the suburbs and have already lowered the price of their condo in the city $30K, they’re going to end up selling for lower than what they bought it for. This was a condo that they got into a bidding war over just a few years ago. So, IDK, just seems like things aren’t moving fast anymore and that sellers no longer have an edge.

    #979719 Reply

    He does more of the dog stuff, all the car stuff, garbage and recycling, cleaning the kitchen and cooking a steak dinner once a week. He can cook well, but I find it easy and kind of relaxing to just whip up a Hello Fresh after I’m done working. He also does the grocery shopping and most errands. Gets me tea at night.

    I handle the saving and investing, the cleaning in between when our cleaner comes, and idk what else. Green smoothies.

    #979740 Reply

    Home prices in LA are soaring. You’d think they’d tank —- but no. Honestly? I don’t get it. The whole thing baffles me. Money baffles me. All I do is worry about money —- that’s pretty much my entire existence. Meanwhile others are snapping up via bidding wars $900,000 condos complete with $2,200 HOA fees for their kids. Whatever.

    I staged a okay —- I guess, I mean, yeah I thought it was kinda bland —- condo for a real estate agent friend of mine and it went for 50 grand over asking. $50,000. The numbers are in the paragraph above. There was a tiny, shallow shared pool. But no gym. And the grounds looked rather tired. The whole building looked aged. And tired. Hell, it was me as a condo. Only nobody wants me for $9,000 —- much less $900,000. Strange.

    I think in the new year things will soon become quite clear. I’m never going to achieve anything I truly want. Never. Yes, things are becoming quite clear indeed. Beware lucidity and clarity, kiddos. Trust me. They are so, so, so NOT your friend.

    #979999 Reply

    We tend to share laundry a bit but I’m the one who chucks in the sheets, towels etc. He hangs clothes out like a maniac so I do that and he’ll help bring them in if there’s a bit of it. Otherwise we’re pretty good around household stuff these days. He’s doing the lawn right now and I feed the cats in the morning so they don’t get used to his 5am wakeups, plus I do maintenance cleaning during the week when I’m working from home. We divide household chores pretty well, I don’t feel either of us are being taken advantage of.

    #982142 Reply

    Happy holidays DW community. And thank you Wendy for this safe space.

    I know the holidays aren’t what we’re used to, but I hope everyone is finding small wins.

    Me, it’s the first Christmas I’m spending with my husband. I’m usually the one to leave, so I’m finding out his holiday norm. We’ll see how it goes.

    #985790 Reply

    Happy Holidays and almost Happy New year DWers!

    Kate, I bought the Revlon brush from Costco because it was on sale… and of course a package thief got it 🙁 along with my mothers christmas gift box to me.

    WHen I’m up in the middle of the night feeding the little one, I’ve gotten pretty addicted to MixedMakeup videos. I already do a lot of the stuff she talks about, and had been a loyal retinol user (pre pregnancy). Cannot WAIT until next year when I can get back on it (darn breastfeeding).

    Was the watermelon mask by Bliss or laneige by chance, Kate?

    Also, for the winter runners, there was a product by Kiehls that I believe they discontinued, but it’s essentially Vaseline with 50 SPF that is amazing. I still have some left (Cross Terrain for men)

    anyway, i need to get back into jade rolling my skin, i look and feel saggy

    #985793 Reply

    The Watermelon sleeping mask was by Glow Recipe.

    That super sucks about the packages!!! Is there anything that can be done about that?

    #985805 Reply

    unfortunately, no. it’s all to common in our area in Chicago. I filed a police report for the packages that we were missing. We are probably going to get a doorbell camera through ADT or something. I also should have reached out to our neighbors to grab stuff for us (we were unexpectedly out of town for two days). I partially blame amazon delivery drivers (THE LITERAL WORST). THey just leave stuff right on our stoop.. don’t come up to the door or attempt to hide. Our mailman leaves our packages under our steps or hides them (we were able to put a preference in our informed delivery and I also have chatted with him before). FEDEX/UPS also goes to the top of the stairs at least.

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