DW Community Catch-up Thread
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That sounds like a bitch of a commute. I had a job in the past where I had to drive from just north of Boston to just south, so you could either go through the city on 93 which was a fucking joke, or go whatever crazy way Waze would have you go through like 5,000 different back streets trying to wind your way there. And then you had to pay for parking. I did that for almost a year and it was HORRIBLE. And so nerve wracking worrying about hitting a cyclist or pedestrian. We moved and I could take a bus from our new place, and that was such a relief. There was this bonkers woman on the bus who would voice-dial everyone in her family every morning and no one would pick up, or if they did they’d be like, Michelle, I have to go. She called the pharmacist one time and told them all her personal info including full name and address. And she’d talk about her period and stuff if she did reach someone on the phone. Once this trans person asked her to move her bag so they could sit down next to her. She told them this wild story about how she’s an artist, which she definitely was not, and then she said she’s thinking of becoming a man! The person was like, oh, uh, this is my stop. I used to live-stream about this bud ride on my stories.
LOL. I’d have watched that livestream.
My mood improved tremendously when I moved here and stopped commuting by car. When I lived in a suburban area of another state, the sprawl meant that, with traffic, I spent 45 minutes in the car every morning and just over an hour in the evenings. Almost TWO HOURS in the car five days/week. And it was considered normal! AND at the time I had a bf who lived an hour away and I’d giddily drive an hour to go see him regularly. I really don’t miss living a car centric lifestyle.
We don’t even own a car!!! We have a garage space. We should rent it out.
The husband did the math after his college car crapped out. It didn’t make sense to buy, even with his Sunday suburban Uber rides to bowl with his dad.
Walk, public transit, rideshare, and he occasionally bikes.
The few times I do go into the office now, I bus there and walk home. It’s lovely.
I do have a car, but my commute now consists of just one T (subway) train, which is amazing. And we’re still just required to go in one full week a month, all in the same week. That’s going to change in the fall, likely to 2 weeks back to back but no one knows for sure. The not knowing is hell for parents. Early warning signs that this isn’t working, some moms at work are starting to take lengthy leaves of absence. It’s just, however they were swinging this before the pandemic, it’s no longer working for them. Part of it I know is getting reliable child care. I obviously don’t have kids, but there is no way I could do that. This job is so intense, and the week we’re in the office physically even more so, with having to go to things at night too, you cannot do it unless you have a stay-at-home spouse handling everything. Seriously. Women are starting to get crushed. We have a female CEO, albeit with grown kids and she’s astronomically wealthy, but still, she’s got to understand this. It’s not okay.
I’m sorry you didn’t get the job, Copa. But it may be a blessing. My Chicago friends are suffering bc of all traffic lately (they often call me on speaker phone during their evening commutes and then complain about how awful it is). I briefly worked in academia (in Chicago) before I moved to NYC, thinking it could be a longterm career choice for me, and there are some perks, but the salaries are almost always much lower than you’ll find in the private sector. The trade-off could be worth it, but when you factor in a brutal commute, maybe not so much…
Yeah, I went back to work like 6 months ago and was in a step down from my last position. My boss had my last title but was shit. After busting my ass, also being a parent, also paying a lot for childcare…I was at my breaking point when my son broke his arm about six weeks ago and my husband was in OR for that job (didn’t work out, I’m relieved?) and she was just as usual, unpleasant. I know I shouldn’t compare, but I am a cheerleader and try to keep my team motivated and happy and working hard for me because they want to. This was not it. I just up and quit with zero plan, I’m sure it was 99% my anxiety and exhaustion and nerves but I just left. That week had been traumatic for me, I know I use that word a lot, but my son had to have his arm reset in front of me…it was the worst thing I’ve had to endure. I was depressed for about a month afterwards, feeling like why couldn’t I have just hung in? But I also don’t really regret it at all. I do regret/embarrassed to have done it all like that, I’ve never quit in a “rage” before. I was feeling crushed. That’s a really apt description.
I’m at a nonprofit right now and I guess I had it in my head that I was leaving money on the table. But I guess my manager compensation where I am now is comparable or sometimes even higher than what low- to mid-level directors at a university might make. Both universities that I spoke to this past spring are private and I’m told by someone I know who used to work in higher ed that she thinks they pay a little less than public universities. I know the exact career move I could make to get my pay up pretty significantly and have considered it, but it’d be going back into the private sector and I don’t know if I care to do that. What I don’t make in salary, I make up for in benefits and excellent work/life balance.
Oh shit Anonymousse, I’m sorry.
Basically every day I’m talking people down who want to rage-quit, but in this market and this industry, pretty small world, and some of us really needing the benefits, we just can’t. I’ve never had a boss before who had issues like this one, and if anyone here ever wants to talk about how to deal with a whackadoo, I’m available.
There’s also an area on the 9th floor we call the Crying Corner. And every Wednesday at 4:30 I have a scheduled bitch session with two women no longer on my team.
Ugh anonymousse. That really stinks. I’m sorry. I think a lot of people leave jobs over bad managers.
I try hard to support my team. I’m taking advantage of some courses my company is offering to people managers. And for the first time in my 20-year career I have a manager I really, really like. I’ve had a couple bad managers and a couple who were just ok. It makes such a difference.
If I ever need help dealing with some work stuff, I’m pretty sure I’d come here and check with you Kate before taking action.
If work is a nightmare and you’re in a position where you can rage quit… IDK, there are worse things. I also increasingly feel like broadly speaking, something’s gotta give. People are stressed, overworked, underpaid, unhappy, burned out. People have lives and obligations outside of work. Everything is expensive right now.
My sister went to visit our mom maybe a month or so ago and worked while she was there. So she was in the eastern time zone, someone she works with out of California fucked something up, which then became her problem. So it’s like 7 p.m. on a Friday and my sister is being hassled about how she needs to fix whatever the issue was ASAP and the guy in CA made a comment about how he wanted to leave the office by 5. Per my mom, who I guess was in the room, my sister went red with rage and went off on him about how it was past 7 where she was and she’d have loved to log off by 5 herself but couldn’t because of his incompetence. She’d be a great contender to rage quit, but can’t.
Thanks for the support. I should have got on the forums and made a post and asked Kate what to do.
I went for a drive, cried and called my husband.
But I am glad I left. Sad to not be earning an income, that was nice.
