Genuine question: what is it anyone said that you are perceiving as hostile?

LOL as I lay here in my bed wih my two sleeping kids and two pets, boy I’m so hostile. Facts. I am a kind and gentle person. What you try to insult me with doesn’t work because I actually know what I am.

You sound so young, brash, antagonistic and angry.

A few disagreements could absolutely change how someone feels about moving forward early in a relationship. It could make them realize you are fundamentally incompatible. If you were “driven to” another “poor reaction,” absolutely.

There doesn’t always have to be a bad guy in a breakup, especially after three months of long distance dating, but you are desperate to make her one for your ego. Imagine how much sooner you’d feel better if you put this energy into anything other than creating the narrative that you were the victim of a selfish, manipulative, evil narcissist.

Look, I have put up with your insults and comments. I haven’t actually tried to be mean to you. I am not focused on you. LOL, awww we’re at that stage of the bashing? Where you try to give me a dressing down? A boy of what? 17? You’re minor entertainment while I drink coffee. It’s sad that you seem to think insulting me is making your point.

I am now actually cheering your internet crush dumping you. She sounds smart. Although maybe not because it did take 3-4 months to fully realize you’re an immature imbecile, but she’s still so young.

First girlfriend, obviously. How old are you? 25? That’s being generous, because honestly you behave like you’re 12 p, entitled and butthurt. Who cares if someone’s coworkers know about you? So many parts of your comments are elementary possessive immature crap. Get some therapy. Be nicer. More people will like you and tell you the truth if you aren’t so acidic. No one owes you anything, especially a girl you want to date. You like the person for who they are and don’t try to change them.

“You sound obsessed.”

Okay, dude. LOL.

You are obsessed, with insults and my age. I’m much older than you think and if I say my age you would use it against me for maturity sake. She was 19 years younger than me so I take it as a temporary win to charm an attractive younger woman, even if only for 3-4 months. I’m sure I will get negative comments on this too. She made many promises about our future, so it was difficult to navigate. Some may call this future faking. I’m sure putting pressure on her to live up to her promises did me in, and will learn for the next time.

Yes, this column is very toxic in offering advice. Using ad hominem attacks, and lacking symparhy, doesn’t help in the healing process. I came for advice and can take truth, but like I said this place only is making things worse. I’m done commenting and hope all of you work to treat others in pain with more respect, and decency, going forward.

All right, if I understand correctly, you were in a long-distance situationship for a few months, with 2 in-person meetings, and she is about 20 years younger than you. She has a different lifestyle, I’m assuming, and a different attachment and communication style than you do. Am I getting all that right? And some of your biggest problems were with what you consider her poor communication and your poor responses to her communication. And she’s told you she loves you but doesn’t want to be in a relationship. And you’ve told her to give you a timeframe that she may be ready for a relationship and she hasn’t responded since then?

So to me, like, we don’t even have to talk about fault here and who was the worse communicator and who was sending inconsistent messages. It doesn’t matter. What matters is you two were a bad fit, and a relationship was never going to work. You tried it, it didn’t work. She said she doesn’t want to do it anymore. Chapter closed. Tried and failed. It’s fine. It’s okay. Most relationships fail, and a common time to split up is 3-4 months in.

Do you have any follow-up questions? Has she responded since your last message?